by Blogbot

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

This week Delia tells us why the Rose Garden is such a beautiful place to visit.

Members: 196 [Private: For SGs Only] / Comments: 3,675

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: Rose Garden is a great place for SGs to discuss their mental illnesses without fear of judgment. The girls are extremely supportive. We have all had different experiences with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc., and there is always someone within the group who has an encouraging word. It’s a great place for like-minded girls to speak freely about things that they normally would not talk about in their blogs or on the message boards.



DISCUSSION TIP: One of the most important things to be aware of is that group members can easily be triggered by posts, so it’s always advisable to add a trigger warning or a disclaimer if something could make a member uncomfortable. There is a lot of sensitive material posted, and we all trust that any member would never betray the confidence of the group.



MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: The “Say Anything” thread is a great place for the girls to vent out their frustrations in a hold-nothing-back fashion. There is also a thread dedicated to three positive things that happened during the day, to remind us to find joy in the little things and not focus so much on the negative aspects of life.



BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “I never promised you a rose garden…”



WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: It’s an SG-only group for girls who deal with mental illnesses including, depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and schizophrenia. Ladies who would like to join should message Anarchie at the same time as applying and briefly explain why you’d like to join.

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by Laurelin

There are few things in life I love and hate more than the glow and vibrating of a cell phone when you’re expecting something big. I use the term “big” loosely; 9 times out of 10 I’ve just said something to a guy and I’m not sure what he’s going to say: minutes crawl by like hours and then (as though I had been holding my breath the whole time) there it is, the reassuring buzz and glow. When that buzz is never returned however, we enter the moments where you become acutely aware you had been holding your breath, and you make that conscious decision to slowly exhale or simply pass out.

I remember one relationship in particular; one where when I woke up one morning he was just… gone. He had left me, I knew it, but when something so drastic happens you don’t just process it and know to move on. Your world is rocked, your foundation shaken to the core and everything you trusted – especially yourself – is betrayed. A year went by and everyday seemed the same, but in reality, a year is a year, and I suppose I was healing.

I remember I was at a party and I wasn’t even thinking about him. I was in a tube top that kept falling down and I stepped outside to the front step where no one inside would see me so I could tug it up. Mid tug my cell phone buzzed, and in the darkness of that October night I saw his name glowing. I literally felt my heart stop and I put my hand out to steady myself against the front door. I answered the call, and what happened after that is now insignificant and trite, but I will never forget that feeling; the wind knocked out of me with just a small glow in the dark.

Fast forward to now and I’m realizing that once again, I have made a mistake and started to let someone in, when really they had no business in my life in the first place. This isn’t a time stopping event, probably not even worth writing about, but I know I am and I probably will again. His texts, now few and far between, still managed to ruin my dinner when I looked down over a plate of crab rangoon and saw his name glowing in the gloom. Suddenly I wasn’t hungry and I wanted to dunk my iPhone into the giant bowl of duck sauce.

Earlier that day it had been a text from a married ex. “Saw this and thought of you,” he had said, sending a photo of a CD that played our song. Another one had stopped by the bar the night before and hugged me. “I’m sorry, I’m an ass and I didn’t call you on your birthday,” he said. “It’s okay,” I mumbled. “I didn’t call you on yours either.” He tells me to call him sometime, and I say I will although I know I won’t because I deleted his phone number when I was finally able to delete him from my life. I don’t expect to hear from him anytime soon.

I realize that I’m drifting off into my egg drop soup and I snap back to reality, tucking my cell phone into my purse and deciding to not look at it for the next hour. Suddenly it buzzes and I glance down just one last time. My defeated face turns into a bright grin, my cheeks turning red and my friends start to giggle and ask to see pictures when I show them who it is. Those boys… they know just the right moment to pop up and say hi. I make a conscious decision to leave my phone out of the duck sauce after all.

Laurelin is running the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for breast cancer research and awareness on Saturday, October 20th; every donation counts and is greatly appreciated.

[..]

by Blogbot

Artist / SG Member Name: Sarah Syko a.k.a. Syko SUicide

Mission Statement: “Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world!” I spent a lot of my time growing up being grounded, which meant I spent a lot of time in my room with my paints and a sewing machine. Got away from my painting for a bit but moved to Colorado last year and I cant stop, and I am way happier with my art than ever before!

Medium: Very mixed media, acrylic, anything I can get my hands on really

Aesthetic: People, colors, abstract, sex, GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! Anything and everything I feel.

Notable Achievements: Did my first live painting recently and I have my first art show this month in Denver.

Why We Should Care: My work is very personal and passionate. My art shows the world more about me than they can understand or I can even explain. I like to take my time with my art, and work on my paintings over multiple sessions and different emotions.

I Want Me Some: No online sales yet but having my first art show, with work available this month! Feel free to message me if you are interested in my work. I will do request paintings if I like the idea. I usually just give my work to friends and family to always keep them close to me but I just sold my first painting and am ready to let a few more of my babies go now.

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by Nahp

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

This week Ryker tells us why she loves what’s cookin’ in The Kitchen.

Members: 4,135 / Comments: 37,03

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: Honestly it is one of the first places I go when I’m needing some creative ideas for new dishes. Some of the stuff people whip up in that group is incredible! Plus, the food porn is bonerific.

DISCUSSION TIP: Don’t come into the thread hungry unless you have time to cook 😉 You will literally need to eat immediately after reading some of the threads!

MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: I don’t think there is really any heated discussions, foodies are generally pretty happy people 😀

BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “Warning: the food stuffs behind the link may cause sudden hunger and no responsibility will be taken for those who attempt to recreate any of the food stuffs there in…..especially the tequila and chicken pie.”

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone! Everyone! Whether you love to cook or eat, this is a great group to be in.

[..]

by Nahp

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

This week Yesenia tells us why she gets the warm and fuzzies with Cute Overload.

Members: 1,200 / Comments: 7,459

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I can always count on the posts in this group to make my day better. It is impossible for me not to smile, giggle, and have my heart melt when I browse the threads in Cute Overload. It is packed with cute photos and videos of animals, kids, and other cute things. There is a video someone posted of a blind kitten playing with its first toy, a jingly ball, and it nearly made me tear because it was so cute! There is a sticky thread dedicated to posting photos of your own pets, and another for posting baby pictures of yourself. Many members start their own threads to discuss a particular cute video they found online.

DISCUSSION TIP: Post anything cute! It can be something you saw online, or something you took a photo/video of yourself. The cuter the better!!

MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD:
I don’t think there are any heated threads. I would be surprised if I found one.

BEST RANDOM QUOTE: Pretty much anything a child says, and there are plenty of those videos in the group.

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone is welcome to join, and once you do, The cutest thing I saw today… is always a good place to start.

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by Laurelin

I remember that I used to go to his bar after we had broken up. I had always gone there, why should I change anything just because my life as I knew it was over? Besides, I was fine. I would do my hair differently, a different style, parted to another side. And I’d wear a little black dress because I was on my way to a fancy event that once he would have also been invited to. I was okay, and he would see that.

I wasn’t okay, I was drunk. Lines blurred and people stared, and when I fell backwards off my barstool he came running to help me up. I screamed that I didn’t need his help anymore, that I was fine. Our friends shook their heads and saw me home, and I knew that I was far from fine. That night would replay a couple of times a week; a different dress, the same sad looks. And always I would cry when I thought no one was looking, even though everyone was. He must have been horrified.

Three years later, I watch him walk drunk into my bar regularly. He has his head held high, but I can always tell that something is wrong.

After the scene unfolded for the first time, I leant over to one of our friends and said, “This is what it was like all those years ago when I used to go into his bar, isn’t it?” Our friend nodded his head, and I felt impossibly sad.

I would rather have nights of my own endless heartbreak than know I’m causing someone else to ache like that. I don’t know what’s happening, and I am powerless to stop any of it. I have my own problems and having front row seats to his makes me feel guilty for being annoyed, but I am.

“I just miss you,” he says, reaching for me. I turn away, just out of his reach and I want to cry, but I don’t. Not until I was telling someone else the story later did my eyes fill with tears. “You’re happy now,” he had slurred and I wanted so badly to shake him and tell him that I was anything but happy; I was still always being let down, the only constant in my life was our sad city bar scene. But he didn’t need to know that. If he thought I was happy and that made him sad, it wasn’t my place to let him know that I really did want to be rescued – just not by him anymore.

It’s raining outside today, and I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. I don’t feel like drinking, I don’t feel like talking, texting, writing, eating. I feel sad, alone, heartbroken. I have to be at the bar in one hour. As shitty as I feel I know, I’ll get up, I’ll add some color to my pale cheeks and I’ll fake a smile, and while some people will know, others won’t. I’ll be okay. Maybe he’ll call and maybe he won’t, and no matter which “he” it is, I shouldn’t answer the phone, because nothing is right.

I have to be at the bar in one hour, and the mere thought of lifting my face off this pillow is enough to make me turn to ashes.

[..]

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Leandra

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. Basically my boyfriend never wants to have sex and it confuses me. I wear sexy outfits, corsets, thongs, nothing but a skirt, fish nets stockings, but nothing works. I rub on him, even give him head, but he still doesn’t want to have sex with me. I don’t know what to do!!! Any tricks you could teach me?

A: Firstly, you need to know it’s NOT you. Wearing sexy outfits, lingerie etc., will only do so much. I am sure you look amazing!

It sounds like you have a real problem in the relationship here, I don’t think trying any tricks will help. How long has he been this way? Has he always been less sexual than you? Sometimes guys just are not sexual, despite the stereotype.

The first thing I think you should do is confront your boyfriend on this issue, but be kind and be gentle, this is a sensitive subject. I know this is frustrating and can do serious damage to your confidence and self esteem, but please try not to take it personally and please don’t think you’re not hot enough and can’t “do it” for him.

He should be willing to go to a doctor and have a few tests done, he may have a medical problem. He may have low testosterone, (you might want to Google that and see if he has other symptoms). He may have erectile dysfunction, which he can get pills for (Viagra and others). There may be a lack of blood flow to his penis, etc. It’s important to rule any physical factors out for his health.

Once you have ruled out anything physical, author possible causes could be emotional or mental. Has there been a change in the relationship or a change in his life? Could he be stressed, tired or overworked? Are you guys okay besides this sex problem? It may help him to talk to a therapist. You guys could even consider going to couples counseling together.

Basically, this doesn’t usually happen for no reason. Sure, some men and woman are just not very sexual, but there is usually a reason beyond that, especially if it hasn’t always been this way. You need to work together to get to the bottom of it, and you need to be supportive as I’m sure this is going to be a little embarrassing for him.

If he is not willing to seek any kind of help, you need to decide if you will be happy spending the rest of your life in a sexless relationship. Personally, I wouldn’t be so hurt that my boyfriend wasn’t having sex with me, I would be much more hurt if he wasn’t willing to try and do something about it.

Good luck!!!

Leandra
xXx

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com