postimg
Apr 2013 03

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Clio

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Clio in Born Into A Light]

Q: My name is Giusuno Cornetto [real name redacted – continue on to understand why!] and if the name doesn’t say it then I’ll tell you; I’m a 100% bona-fide Italian from a large Italian family. I’m a 100% bona-fide Italian from a large Italian family. I don’t discriminate and I love all women, but if I could marry an Italian and have little Italian babies it would be awesome.

Recently I began dating an au pair from Tuscany. She couldn’t be more perfect. She has beautiful tan skin, great looks from her face to her toes, and, most of all, she adores me. She is different from my usual type, which is someone like myself, tattoos, piercings, and dreadlocks, but it’s great that she is not like that because most of the girls I’ve dated are either too immature, too wild, or are not on the same page. However, there is one problem in the bedroom and it’s a big one. Her vagina is rank.

I’m sorry there’s no other way to say it, but it’s out of control even for a free spirit like myself. I loved my hippies, as in just a natural scent – sweaty, salty, with no desire to shave the kitty ¬ it turns me on. I don’t know what to do or how to break the news to her. I love putting my mouth on everything especially her pussy, and without being able to lick her off the relationship has little hope. When she gets wet I can smell her even more and the worse part about it is she doesn’t notice anything wrong which can only mean that she is used to it. What do I do?

A: Thanks for sharing this delicate dilemma. I hope your girlfriend/potential bambini-maker isn’t a member of SuicideGirls and doesn’t decide to Google your name because she’s not going to be a happy signorina when she reads this about her farfallina. But anyway, from what you wrote it sounds like either she just has a very strong natural scent, or she could have a vaginal infection that’s causing a funky odor.

If she has a vaginal infection she should see a medical specialist pronto! If that’s not the case I suggest trying to get her fragrant figa under control by adopting a more serious approach to feminine hygiene. There’s a lot of info about that online so I’m not going to bore you with details about how to keep your patatina clean.

However, you probably could use some advice on how to break the news to her that you’d rather eat a moldy cannoli than munch on her box. I would tell her delicately (do not use the word ‘rank’ unless you wanna get slapped) that her natural scent is a bit strong and that maybe she could wash before you engage in sexual activity. If you think that’s too direct, you can suggest taking a shower together before having sex and see if that makes going down on her more palatable.

In bocca al lupo!

Clio
xoxo

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

postimg
Oct 2012 08

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Yulia

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Yulia in Don’t Panic]

Q: Last summer my wife and I split up simply because she felt lonely, which is my fault completely. We did end up getting back together, but my problem is sex, which was once great has died away. She never feels like having it any more. She doesn’t even want oral sex either. Sex is not the most important thing to me, but I feel it is definitely hurting the relationship. I have tried everything in and out of the book, but have come up empty and am having thoughts about exploring my options. Is there anything I can do to restart my sex life back with my wife? I miss the fun we had.

A: Kudos to you for recognizing that your past behavior may have caused or contributed to your current situation. It’s also very brave of you both to give your relationship a second chance. This shows you each recognized a strong connection and believe it’s worth saving.

Since you say you’re not having much sex anymore, I’m going to assume you had sex more regularly pre-breakup. Your wife may be concerned that renewing your sex life together will begin a slippery slope back down to the loneliness she felt before your time apart. I don’t know how long you two have been back together, but even if it’s been months, you may still be rebuilding trust. Because sex is the most intimate act, it can be easy to assume that just because you’re sleeping with someone you know them well and are spending quality time together. And you are, but it’s often not enough. I have friends I’ve never kissed that I know more deeply than people I have slept with. It’s likely that this is the level of connection that your wife wants, and she may be trying hard to build a strong foundation first before she will let loose.

You need to make your wife feel special and special to YOU, like you want her and not just sex, period. But don’t just treat her to the traditional stuff (flowers, and restaurants), try branching out and giving her quality time where you can enjoy each other’s company as well as each other’s bodies.

Most of all, be patient. Your wife wouldn’t have gotten back together with you if she didn’t hope to rekindle the old fire. She might just be trying a different method this time to see if the bond will be stronger.

Best of luck.

Yulia

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

postimg
Aug 2012 06

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Jeckyl

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Jeckyl in Abnormal Behavior]

Q: My girlfriend and I recently moved in together and everything was wonderful. Then, just over a month ago, a close friend of hers passed away. Since then, she has been sending slightly mixed signals that she wants us to some day get engaged and that she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. However, she is nowhere near as affectionate as she used to be and is very irritable. I have tried talking to her about it, but it gets turned around and made into my fault. Is this the grief she is going through talking? Should I be worried that she is going to leave or that I’m not enough for her anymore?

Scared Lover from South Africa

A: First of all, my deepest condolences. I can’t imagine the pain and confusion you’re both experiencing right now.Grief is a complicated process and, after just a month, I’m afraid to say she’s barely scraped the tip of the iceberg here. You need to be patient. Death is a hard pill to swallow and she really needs you to be strong for her during this time. She is going to be extremely emotionally confused and you just need to go with it. Laugh with her when she’s happy, comfort her when she’s sad, and don’t expect her to make any sense for a while.


Her on-and-off behavior towards you may be just another way that she’s experiencing grieving. She’s realizing how short life is, so she wants to make that commitment. But she’s also experiencing the pain of losing someone so she’s likely terrified of going through it again. This could explain her bouts of coldness. Give her a few months to somewhat heal before having any kind of major relationship-changing discussion with her. She’s really not in any position to be making life-altering decisions right now.


I understand that her grief is taking a strain on you, and my heart really does go out to you, but you need to try and keep it together, for her sake. This really isn’t the best time to be confrontational. They say sometimes you have to put up with the rain in order to truly appreciate the rainbow, take this as a test of the strength of your relationship. If you can make it through this, you can make it through anything. And, honestly, the best thing you can do for her right now is to treat her the same way you always have, let her know she’s loved and that she isn’t alone.


How you proceed after this speed-bump is up to you, but I sincerely hope that your relationship manages to weather this storm intact.

Best of luck to both of you.

Jeckyl

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

postimg
Jun 2012 25

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Jeckyl

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Jeckyl in Abnormal Behavior]

Q: Ok, so I have this problem. I am friends with this girl who I now have a lot of feelings for. I would like to take our relationship to the next level and try dating. I have asked her about it and she says that she doesn’t want to mess up our friendship right now. When we are hanging out with my friends and her friends, they all tell me that she really likes me. I don’t know what to do about it.


A: Well, maybe you don’t need to do anything about it. Remember she said she doesn’t want to mess up your friendship “right now” – this doesn’t mean that a relationship is completely out of the question. Just not a likelihood at this point. She knows that you have feelings for her, and you know that she has feelings for you. You’ve obviously discussed this and she’s given you her opinion. With everything out in the open, all there’s really left to do is wait.


The basis of any great relationship is the ability to put the other person’s feelings above your own, so I think it’d be wise to respect her decision. If both parties or one party aren’t ready for the next step, pushing it only leads to resentment in the long run.

Instead, right now focus on nurturing what you already have. If more comes of it, great but, if not, that’s fine too. Take the time to really consider what it is that you want. A good friendship doesn’t necessarily translate into a good relationship. Dating is a completely different ballgame.

Also consider the effect it’ll have on your friendship if this relationship goes south. Make sure it’s worth the risk.
You’d be very wise to consider all the implications of your choices before you make them because there’s really no going back.


Dating your friend is sometimes a lot harder than dating a stranger. You don’t get a clean slate and you only get one shot. Make sure that, when the time comes, you’re ready and you do it right. Love is hard to find and you don’t want to ruin something that had the potential to be amazing.

Best of luck, whatever your final decision may be. I wish you both all the happiness in the world.

Jeckyl

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

postimg
Jun 2012 18

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Seizure

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Seizure in Mirror Mirror]

Q: I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for year. The problem is that she hates sex. Her ex-boyfriend abused her in and out of the bedroom. Now I don’t know how to return the desire. I am very passionate in bed but she is very monotonous and not very funny, and I think this is starting to affect me.

A: This is a hard situation to deal with I am sure. The best advice that I feel can be given is to make sure that the sex happens naturally. Don’t make plans for it because it will just put pressure on her and cause her to think and get stressed out. Make sure she is always comfortable with what is going on. If she has any triggers, then always avoid them. She will open up more and more when she feels safe and comfortable. Her self-esteem is probably shaken as well so help her to find her self-worth. Make sure she always knows how you feel about her, and how attractive and awesome you think she is. I think both physical and emotional comfort is the key to helping her to open up more during intimacy. If things don’t improve however, and it seems like they haven’t since you’ve already been dating for a year, you may want to encourage her to seek professional help.

<3 Seizure

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

postimg
Jun 2012 05

by Blogbot


[Kemper and Bob in Droids You’re Looking For]

Suicide Girls love getting dressed up almost as much as they like taking their clothes off. San Diego’s monster Comic-Con event is therefore a major highlight on our calendar each year, since it’s an excuse to play dress up.

This year we’re cooking up an extra-special Comic Con cosplay wardrobe, with a little help from clothing manufacturer and retailer American Apparel, pop-culture event planners Bubble Punch, and our fave Sunset Strip geek emporium, Meltdown Comics.

Comic chic chicks Chubby Bunny and Yume Ninja of Bubble Punch will be designing a series of three different sexy cosplay themed outfits for our ladies to wear while they man our Comic-Con booth. Each of the outfits will be made using basics available at your local American Apparel store. We’ll also be producing “How To” videos with the help of our friends from Meltdown so you can recreate the costumes the Suicide Girls will be wearing to Comic Con at home.

The three “How to” videos – one for each SG cosplay costume – will be posted on SuicideGirls’ Facebook page in June. The costumes will then be debuted live at a special pre-Comic Con party to be held at Meltdown Comics on July 7th. Follow @SuicideGirls on Twitter for up to the minute news, updates, and photos.

You can also catch our ladies in their unforgettable cosplay outfits at booth #1730 of Comic Con San Diego 2012. If you’re planning on attending the convention on more than one day, be sure to come back and visit us again, since our team of sexy booth girls will be cosplaying new outfits each day!

Related Posts:
Dirty Laundry: Cosplay 4 Comic Con

postimg
Jun 2012 04

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Sassie

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Sassie in Postern]

Q: So I’ll get right to it. I have known this girl for several years and we have a ton of the same friends. Randomly we started dating a couple months ago and I have noticed something I really don’t like — she CAN’T stop sharing every aspect of every date we go on.

It’s like being on one of those AT&T commercials where everyone is saying, “That’s so 10 seconds ago.” I’m tired of hearing about our dates second and even third-hand. We were talking the other day and she was describing the VERY intimate sexual habits of her female friend and a guy she had been dating. Then, when I asked her about how she could repeat stuff like that, she answered, “Well, girls look to each other to get verification of…” I had stopped listening.

Not only did she not think this was intrusive into what was an intimate relationship, but she was actually defending it. I think she later realized I was not exactly on the same boat with her and she said something to the effect that she would never tell anything about anyone she really liked.

I was even more puzzled because if her friend was doing what she said, I’m guessing she at least liked him. I realize she is unlikely to change even if I asked her to, but this is always in the back of my head and it really stops me from sharing with her. It definitely makes me feel less intimate and I feel myself withdrawing from her.

If we broke up we would still see each other very often just because of our common social circle. Is it too much to ask that when I ask her not to share certain details of our relationship that she respect that? Or should I just assume that if we do ever break up everything is going to get spilled?

Or am I being dumb to worry about this at all?

Thanks for your time!

A: I feel that there are two sides to this. Some girls (and guys) talk very openly to their friends about their sexual relationships and other wise. I am one of these people, but I only have one or two very close friends that I share this information with. These close friends, are people I can trust and know won’t go around telling every person they see.

However, it sounds like things are getting back to you about your relationship from people other than your girlfriend that are mutual friends. I can understand how this could bother you, but you can’t really control what she does or doesn’t talk about with whom. And if she doesn’t really see any problem with the behavior, you can’t make her change how she feels. So you don’t see eye to eye on this one matter. What if you try asking her not to talk about that kind of stuff around you? Explain that you don’t care to hear the details of all of your friends’ relationships. And tell your friends that they have no business talking about your relationship either. If they are your real friends they will understand.

The second side of this is begs the question, why do you care so much? Ask yourself what about her sharing these types of things really bothers you. Are you embarrassed? Or maybe you just feel that any talk of your intimate sexual habits should just be between the two of you. Why? Do you not have a close guy friend that you share your stories with? If you’re having problems coming to a resolution, and can’t even openly discuss this with her, then you’re headed for problems.

I know it sounds corny, but communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If she’s just sharing with certain people and you’re not the talk of the town, I wouldn’t worry about it so much. Things start to get complicated when it turns into gossip. If you’re already asking yourself “what if” we broke up, then you obviously aren’t happy with how things are going and perhaps need to make some changes. So either stop withdrawing and have an adult conversation about how you feel and what you need, or maybe consider that you guys were, and are, better off as just friends.

Thanks for the question!

<3 Sassie!

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

Page 1 of 612345...Last »