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Apr 2011 28

by Laurelin

Heartbreak. It happens to everyone, and people deal with it in different ways. I remember the first time I ever felt it, the impossible sadness and emptiness that just washes over your body in a wave when someone decides they don’t want you anymore. I was in high school, having dinner with my family and the phone rang. He always called around that time. We talked for hours every night. That night was different.

“You didn’t see this coming?” He asked. “L, school’s over. I want to be free for the summer.” I hung up the phone, wanting to scream and cry, throw the phone through the window…but I stayed silent. I swallowed it all, and in that moment I decided that that’s how I would get by. I walked calmly back to the dinner table, smiled and carried on. My parents never even knew anything was wrong. Inside, I was crushed and angry, outside, I was calm, cool and collected.

I didn’t date anyone else for two years, but eventually high school ended and college was a new start. I met someone, and it was a fairy tale. I still consider myself lucky to have known anything like that. It ended well enough, looking back, but it took me another solid two years to get passed that one as well. After we agreed to call it quits I just wanted to give up. It couldn’t be over, but it was, and it was next to impossible to move on. But, after college, just as before, I did move on. The next guy and I dated on and off for a few years as well. He was different then the rest. He was a bit controlling, but I was all too ready to accept the roll of housewife after spending the last few years drinking my face off in dark bars. I didn’t go out, just came home after work, crawled into bed, and loved him with everything I had. My friends didn’t trust him; I thought they were crazy.

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Apr 2011 14

by Laurelin

When I first came up with the idea for this column, the name “Life Beyond the Bar Scene” just seemed perfect. The life I lead is so immersed in the service industry that I really can’t see past it right now; everyone I know in Boston I met at a bar. Literally, everyone. Everywhere I turn, it’s bartenders, servers, bouncers, barbacks, nightlife, my life. It wasn’t always this way.

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Mar 2011 17

by Laurelin

Relationships are funny. I remember thinking when I was dating my ex that two people couldn’t be more perfect for each other. I was so lucky to be with my best friend and I couldn’t imagine facing the world with anyone but him by my side. As time went on I think I realized that maybe that was part of our problem – maybe we were always just meant to be friends. The world started looking a little different to me when I finally pinpointed that what I had always viewed as one of our strengths was actually a fatal weakness.

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Jan 2011 04

by Laurelin

The promise of a new year is always something that gives me such hope. It’s silly really. It’s a day in your life, the day after yesterday, and the day before tomorrow. It is no different from any other day except for one number after the same year as last year. But for some reason, every new year people make new promises: promises to become better people, thinner, nicer, get a better job, forgive their parents, donate to more charities. People want to feel like they have the power to change the path they are headed down, no matter what path it was; it doesn’t matter because it is a NEW YEAR and we can be anything we want. I am just like everyone else in the sense that I crave a reason to make me try harder to be someone worthwhile, but I also am not disillusioned that this new year can just magically bring about immediate change for the better.

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Dec 2010 21

by Laurelin

The word “zing” is not in my vocabulary. I don’t remember ever having said it, nor have I ever heard it used in everyday conversation. However, I’m pretty sure when used in the context of a message during a particularly nasty text war with the ex, the word “zing” is equivalent to “fuck you.”

Breaking up is never easy. Everyone is quick to weigh in on your breakup once they hear about it. I’ve heard it all: the voicemail breakup, the post it breakup (how very Sex in the City of him), the text message breakup. Then there were the pep talks: the my-relationship-was-longer-than-yours-so-it-was-worse pep talk, the you’re-better-off-without-him pep talk, and, my personal favorite, the why-would-you-be-upset-about-him-he’s-wearing-a-velour-track-suit-in-public pep talk. People just want to help you get though, it’s heartwarming and gut wrenching at the same time.

I lucked out and got dumped while my [ex] boyfriend was blackout drunk and trying to get me to watch Youtube videos of The Muppets. All of a sudden, it wasn’t working out and here I am, wide eyed and trying to figure out what to do now while he falls into a blissful alcoholic coma next to me. I must have dozed off at some point, because I woke up a few hours later to the alarming sounds of someone sleep-peeing in the corner. I mopped up the urine that soaked my Complete Works of Shakespeare and threw away the last two years with the soggy paper towels. For some strange reason I felt like things could only go up from there.

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