Aaron Colter: Things I Like That You Might Like Too1

by Aaron Colter

Don’t read this blog post. It’s not very good, and by the time you’re done, you’ll only wish you had spent that time looking up just about anything else on the internet. I heard this site has pictures of nice looking ladies without clothes on, maybe you should look at those instead.

Still here? Alright, well, it’s your fault. Idiot. I don’t have anything to say this week. I knew this would happen, that I’d run out of shit to say.

So, things I like . . .

That new album from Tyler, The Creator is pretty good. I mentioned OFWGKTA already, though, in my first post. Goblin is a conflicted album, a sign of the times, and a product of an intelligent artist who may befall the rock and roll tragedy of burning out before fading away. It’s also really funny.

What else . . .

Summer’s here, and that means more skirts. I’m a legs man and a moderately attractive, unthreatening twenty-something, so my occasional glance at a pretty woman isn’t taken with too much offense. I hope. I could go on about the beauty of how dresses, shorts, and tank tops accentuate the female form, but that might offend my girlfriend, and she’s puts up with enough.

I know, ladies, it’s tough, I’m taken. I can’t tell you how many times I have to hear something to the effect of, “Oh my freaking god! A surly hipster blogger with a series of part-time jobs?! Well fuck me running! Someone get me a towel, I am so goddamn wet.”

But, no dice, hoes. Or you either, career-oriented woman just looking for a nice guy to share a touching film with over a decent bottle of wine.

Did you see Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock show off his spray-tan abs in Men’s Health?

That’s pretty fucked-up. I wouldn’t say I like it so much as it amuses me. A couple years ago I wrote about seeing him talk to school kids on CSPAN, and called the piece “Shark In the Water.”

Schock represents the new Republican Party very well – an attractive money lover who promises to get the government out your way so that you can have more to spend on useless shit.

America loves winners, which is why Barack Obama will be elected a second term over anyone currently looking to compete in the 2012 Presidential Race. But, people like Schork, who is under 30 and will be waiting I the wings. And the Democrats better be grooming some future sexy librarian candidate from a state like Ohio if they want to win in ten years when time is set aside during televised debates for a talent portion. We might as well vote live during a prime-time special by text, there’d be a higher turn out.

Actually, fuck the Democrats. I don’t care if they lose so much as I hate watching the Republicans win. I know I’m getting boned either way, but at least the Democrats care enough to lie and aren’t guided by superstition.

I don’t know how to end this, so, there. We’re done. See ya next week, maybe it’ll be better.

If you have something that you think I might like that others might like too, please email youmightlike [at] gmail [dot] com.