The Geek’s Guide to Getting Down Vol. 6: You’ve got the touch. You’ve got the power!2

by Bob Suicide

Geeks in general are often characterized as the archetypal introverted boy: thick plastic-rimmed glasses, suspenders, and high-waisted pants.

(Sounds pretty hot to me!)

Just look at Crispin Glover’s talented portrayal of stammering and painfully timid George McFly. We’re the ones who stand in the corner of the dance hall; afraid to talk to girls. In movies like this, nerds rarely “get the girl” without some sort of “coolness” makeover to bring us up to speed with popular culture.

[Lumi in Catch 909]

To us nerds, well that’s just it…”us nerds.” Everything in society and marketing has drawn lines between “us” and “them.” Most commonly, the “us” is associated with the uncool and the shy; while “them” is generally the outgoing popular crowds.

But, the movies are confusing an important point. At the end of the day, after the credits have stopped rolling, and “the geek” goes home with “the prom queen” after learning to play by the “cool rules”…what do they have to talk about? Is he going to teach her how to play magic cards? Will he care about perfecting that star basket-toss? (Now, there is one cheer stunt called a “Superman” which does have some appeal.) In reality however, they don’t have a lot of common interests to sustain a relationship.

You geeks deserve someone better! Someone you can really get into co-op mode with!

As we’ve learned over the issues, it’s that you can find geeky girls out there with the prom queen physique and the mind of Charles Xavier. Don’t try to change yourself to go for the popular chick. Have confidence in who you are and land yourself a hot Orion slave girl who knows just how to press your “Konami code.” 😀

Don’t let hundreds of movies and years of marketing tell you otherwise; you’re cool! If you have confidence within yourself it’ll show in everything you do. Trust me. It’ll effect your posture, your tone of voice, even your topics of conversation.

You don’t have to be part of the popular crowd to be cool…to a truly nerdy lady real coolness lies in your gamerscore or your ability to speak fluent Klingon. Now, those are real accomplishments to be proud of!

All this being said, sometimes following George McFly’s example is a good move. Try to pick up a girl by saying:

Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take [you] out that he’d melt my brain.

If she’s the right kind of girl (truly a geeky goddess) she’ll understand that she’s found her density.