Remember when you were a straight kid in college, and how you felt like the whole world was designed for somebody else? You almost felt like you were an alien from another planet. Everyone around you was talking about and having experiences that you had no part in. Worse yet, if you ever expressed your feelings of attraction towards the opposite gender, or were even suspected of having them, someone would call you “BREEDER!” and shove you into a locker. You had to worry, “What would my dorm mate think if he finds out I want to fuck women?” You certainly didn’t get invited to the frat parties where all the popular guys would get drunk and blow each other. So you hid your shame and waited for the day that your heterosexuality might be accepted.
Well, that day is coming, and it’s starting in Texas.
Texas lawmakers took a break from trivial issues like rising unemployment, the state’s massive budget shortfall, and the ever shrinking middle class to address the horrific oppression of the vast heterosexual majority in Texas public universities. GOP leaders decided that too many of the state’s universities were using public tax dollars to create offensively non-threatening, accepting environments for non-straight students, and have set about redressing the balance.
Led by state Representative Wayne Christian, a man who will certainly not be caught using a truck stop glory-hole six months from now, the legislature passed a budget bill that would “require any public college with a student center on “alternative” sexuality to provide equal funding to create new centers to promote “traditional values.” Just listen to the evil propagated by one such “alternative lifestyle” center.
The University of Texas operates a “Gender and Sexuality Center” which serves women and the LGBTQA Community. In recent months the center has hosted a seminar on “Religion and Sexuality” as part of their “Living with Pride Series,” and a “Gender Performance Workshop” that provided “lots of wigs and makeup and more,” amongst other events. The center also hosts a separate graduation ceremony for homosexual students called the “Lavender Graduation.”
The measure was spurred on by the support of brave minority rights organization Young Conservatives of Texas. Tony McDonald, senior vice chairman of the group and a law student at UT Austin, spoke of the injustice he faced as a young bigot, “If I were to walk through UT law school with a shirt on that said, ‘Homosexuality is immoral,’ if I were to do that, there would be an uproar. People would be upset, and it would be considered out of place and not acceptable to do that. I’d probably get a talking to. But if you go through campus to promote homosexuality, that is the norm.” He went on to add, “And where’s our White Entertainment Television? What’s up with that?”
With state budgets sure to be slashed this year, McDonald was clear about the true purpose of the bill: to eliminate campus organizations that promote tolerance of LGBT lifestyles and to “try to get these groups defunded.” The bill, while not yet law, has already started to have the intended effect:
While centers in Texas await the outcome of the budget bill, the debate has already accelerated at Texas A&M University, where the leadership of the Student Senate is pushing the university to go on record by saying that it would not increase student fees to create traditional values centers, but would cut the existing Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center in half to finance a new center.
Not content with protecting unfairly stigmatized heterosexuals, the Young Conservatives also seek to defend all of Western Civilization. Another bill inspired by the group would require universities in Texas to provide instruction on Western Civilization, a concept surely unfamiliar to students in the United States. McDonald expressed surprised at opposition to the bill:
“I was frankly amazed to see the level of opposition to the Western civilization amendment raised by the Democrats,” commented Mr. McDonald. “Education in the institutions and ideas unique to Western Civilization and the history of their development is sorely lacking in higher education.”
Clearly, Young Conservatives like Tony are exactly the sort of people who should be dictating sexual policy for today’s students.
