Doing It With Jensen: Glazed Doughnuts With Bacon Grease1

by Jensen

So, you may or may not remember, but a little while back I did a blog on here with Chris a.k.a. Ocell (of FoodWeChew.com/) about bagel making. Well, we decided to have a reunion and make doughnuts! We are both big fans of breakfast pastries. And holes. And breakfast pastries with holes. So we made some. I liked making blogs with Chris because A) he usually makes things while I just stand around and take pictures/throw in commentary and B) he is precise and by-the-book with cooking and I’m scattered and more willing to try things that will potentially turn out fucked up but could also turn out amazing. Actually, I think I’m like that with most aspects of life. But anyway, we’re the good cop/bad cop of cooking.

He found this recipe on AllRecipes.com and we only changed one thing. We also halved the recipe, which you can easily do at AllRecipes automatically.

What You’ll Need

Doughnut Ingredients:

• 2 (.25 ounce) envelopes active dry yeast
• 1/4 cup warm water (105 to 115 degrees)
• 1 1/2 cups lukewarm milk
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 1/3 cup bacon grease
• 5 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 quart vegetable oil for frying

Icing Ingredients:

Preparation:

So we start to put together all of the ingredients and Chris goes, “I don’t think I have shortening. What is shortening?” And I tilt my head to the side and say, “Whaaaaaa? You really don’t know? Do you know what Crisco is?” I was literally amazed. It made me realize how much of a fatty I am for being so extremely familiar with Crisco. We ponder for a second and Chris says, “Do you think bacon grease will work?” And I say, “YES. BACON GREASE WILL WORK.” And he pulls a fucking jar of bacon grease out of his fridge, like this is a normal thing to have lying around. And thus, bacon doughnuts were created.

To start, you just mix the yeast and water in a bowl. We were a bit worried about this because his yeast was a little old and it didn’t get super fizzy like the recipe said, but it turned out fine in the end. After this is done you mix in the rest of the ingredient (sans the flour), then slowly add the flour in. I tried to knead the dough with my hands and it was a sticky disaster (another thing that had us worrying that the doughnuts weren’t going to turn out), but then he kneaded (well, sort of kneaded) it together with a wooden spoon and it turned into that nice texture we were looking for.

After the dough is a nice firm, fluffy looking texture, you let it rise for a bit. I don’t remember the exact amount of time; just wait for that shit to get nice and puffy.

Once the dough is puffy, you roll it into a long rod (I’m having bagel déjà vu here and feel like I shouldn’t recycle the “rod” job I definitely remember using last time). You’re supposed to use a doughnut punch (cookie cutter looking thing), but who the heck has a doughnut punch? We just stretched them into circleish squares, and they turned out just fine.

This is just a recipe break to post a picture of my second favorite cat, Chris’s kitty. SO. FUCKING. CUTE.

Mix all of the icing ingredients together over heat. The icing starts out looking really gross and sickly, but it turns into the super sexy sugary pile of awesomeness. Don’t freak out when it starts out all chunky and gross!

So you fry up the doughnuts until they’re golden brown, then slather them in that sexy icing you just made. Leave them on a rack to cool/let the icing harden. If you want to get crazy, you can put another layer of icing on them after the first layer is dry. That’s your call, bro.

They weren’t the prettiest things in the world, but they were super delicious! You could taste a very faint bacon flavor. Not overpowering, just a little bit of smokiness. For a first try at doughnut making, I’d say we did a pretty fucking good job.

I ate the fuck out of a doughnut.

So moral of the story, a lot of things didn’t go exactly as planned with our doughnut making extravaganza, but they still turned out super delicious. So if you’re worried about trying them out, don’t be! Because I’m pretty sure anything full of bacon and butter and sugar and carbs is going to turn out fucking amazing. That’s the last blog Chris will be working on with me (I mean, unless you guys can come up with more breakfast pastries with holes), so say bye and give him a big thank you :]

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