Freaks Unite6

by Nathalie Moody

Are you someone that identifies themselves differently than the average guy or gal? Someone who stands out and stands up for their lovely different-ness despite the societal pressures to think, talk, and like what the major networks, movie producers, and corporate radio have to offer? Well I am asking you to stand up and take a bow!

The world should embrace normality as well as difference or what I like to refer to as your inner FREAK. Ya know, “a person who has withdrawn from normal, rational behavior and activities to pursue one interest or obsession; a devoted fan or follower; enthusiast, a hippie, capriciousness; whimsicality, unusual, odd”. ( Thanks Webster!)

Freak is truly meant in the most endearing way for those who may not have always been the most popular, interested or able to meet the standards of the masses, and just decided to go their own way by embracing who they truly are..This is definitely a life long process that for me seemed to break wide open when I went to college at Ohio State University 20 years ago (ouch that hurt to write).

Ahh the fond memories of the lush and large OSU campus where are the temptations of being truly on my own ran rampant. This was the place where through many trials and errors, my journey as a once angry activist, turned playful and casual feminist began. Where I truly began to sense my difference and indifference to someone else’s agenda for my life. At that time I became increasingly frustrated with my 20 years of thinking that there was something wrong with me when I did not meet the qualifications of the norm, whether it be my physique, beliefs or interests. I was exposed to the so many life altering experiences like the Sugarcubes, the Cure, Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr. shows, to mind-blowing television shows and films like “Twin Peaks”, “X-Files”, and MTV’s “120 Minutes”, films like “Raisin’ Arizona”, “Delicatessen”, “Erasurehead” and began my own experimentation in the arts with photography and writing. Although I have decided that anger and hatred are toxic and unproductive, I continue to keep a keen eye open towards the effects that education and socialization have on generations of people. I for one do not want to spend the rest of this short precious life trying to meet the terms of some bigger societal force’s expectations. As my Mom always said, “I don’t expect you to be and do anything. As long as you are happy, that is all that matters”. Well, 1 marriage and 3 kids later, I am still working this piece out and will always look at this world through slightly a cynical, yet open-minded pair of glasses.

Being different started young for me. I’ve been 6’ since I was 10. The only difference now is some weight gain, and evidence of womanly hips and breasts. Of course I am an extreme, with basketball player length arms and cycling legs on a swimmers torso with drag queen size feet. And I love every bit and part..most days. I still walk into clothes stores and sometimes wonder, “who the hell are all the styles and sizes made for?” At times, not one piece of clothing comes anywhere near fitting my wrists, touching ankles or getting up around my hips. I am suddenly experiencing an Alice In Wonderland moment, where someone has slipped a little something in my Americano on the way here and I begin to expand and fill up the dressing room. As far as popular culture, I sometimes turn on the major network TV channels or look at the latest movie previews and my head turns to the side as an expression of “Huh? I don’t get it” crosses my face. But to each its own! You like it, I don’t. And what I like you may not and that is okay with me. Hope its okay with you.

This isn’t meant to be a philosophical examination on the well researched and controversial topic of socialization and media influence. Although I have spent many years reconciling the expectations of what I am “suppose” to do versus who I really am and want to be, I am the first to admit of my own hypocrisy in what I watch, listen to, and believe at times. But awareness is the first step, right? All we can truly control is our attitude and reaction to this lovely little thing called LIFE.

My request? Embrace your lovely inner “freak”, with all of your physical and mental strengths, challenges and move on. I know I have wasted too much time beating myself up about what I am not and will never be. Now I just stand up as a 6 foot tall, angsty pierced brunette ex-jock social worker mom, who is a lover of all things comfy (pillows, hugs, duvet), a stalker of Nordstrom (Rack) to accumulate all size 11 sassy shoes and outfits en noir, and one who continually fluctuates from the “glass is half empty to the glass is half full” outlook based upon my hormonal fluctuations and amount of sleep.

So Get On With Your Freaky Self and Live It Up!!