We all know the phrase “We can still be friends, right?” ranks up there as one of the worst phrases one person can say to another person. (Don’t even get me started on that. We were never friends to begin with before whatever the heck we were happened, ass.)
In addition to pseudo-romantical relations, we’ve all at one point in our lives used the word “friend” as a loaded weapon. In junior high, my sister and I would trade our friendship for requests with my younger cousin. If he wanted to be friends, he would have to go downstairs and grab us a snack pack.
In college, during an ethics hearing between myself and two other sorority sisters, our Facebook friendship status, or lack of, played a heavy part in deciding which sister displayed the most unsisterly behavior. If we’re not friends on Facebook, we were not friends in real life. (I know; you can judge.)
Today, I was referred to as a “friend,” and not in the “She’s my ‘friend’ and not girlfriend” type of way. But more of a “You’d really be my ‘friend’ if you meet these expectations” sort of thing.
What does a friend even mean nowadays? Is it a single soul dwelling in two bodies as Aristotle claims?
Going through my Facebook friends, Twitter lists, and IM buddies, I probably could only count out enough people who fit that statement on one hand.
Where do these other people fit in, and why are a majority of them “friends” and not friends?
It appears in the business of give and take which we refer to as friendships, the goods are no longer things like comfort, trust, support, understanding, etc. In fact, in today’s social world, friendships seem to operate on a barter system similar to the one I placed upon my cousin. If you were Gretchen Wieners, you understood queen bee Regina George’s friendship and popularity carried the price of your loyalty and obedience. And there are those who think of a “friend” and see their name on a tight guest list, an “in” into the company or girl of their dreams, an audience to listen to them talk, the ticket to a new life and a bunch of other unfriendlike reasons.
I’m nostalgic for the days when a friend was my catcher in the rye. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty certain my friend tank is full at the moment.
