by Damon Martin

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The Supreme Court of the United States of America will soon be taking on a precedent-making case, set to be heard in November of this year, about the reach of the First Amendment when it comes to the realm of video games. Given Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s involvement, I’m going to try to present facts and opinion, and leave out any clichéd quotes such as “Get to da choppa!” or “I’ll be back” as best I can.

In 2005 the State of California passed two statutes, California Assembly Bills 1792 & 1793, which effectively banned the sale of ultra-violent video games to minors. However, the Video Software Dealers Association successfully appealed on the grounds of freedom of expression at the district court level, and the laws were judged to be unconstitutional. The State of California subsequently appealed the decision, and Schwarzenegger vs. Entertainment Merchants Association will bring the issue to the highest court in the land for a final judgment call

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by Nicole Powers

“I was used to the realities of sucking at something.”
– Justin Halpern, author of Shit My Dad Says

Justin Halpern is an ordinary guy who curates an extraordinary Twitter page. In less than a year it’s garnered over 1.3 million fans who follow Justin simply to keep track of the latest and greatest shit his dad says. Justin’s talent lies in realizing the aforementioned shit was of a superior quality to that emitted from other dad’s mouths. He also has a knack for conveying the underlying heart behind his father’s seemingly harsh witticisms.

Raised on a farm in Kentucky, Justin’s dad, Sam Halpern, is a man of few words – who knows how to make every syllable count. The exact opposite of passive-aggressive, Halpern, Sr. has never been backwards about coming forwards with his often-unsolicited opinions and words of advice. Growing up, this brutal honesty was difficult to deal with, but now Justin is reaping the rewards. His @ShitMyDadSays Twitter page has spawned a hilarious yet surprisingly touching book of longer vignettes — brilliantly retold by Justin — and a TV sitcom produced by Warner Brothers for CBS starring William Shatner, which was co-written by Halpern, Jr. in association with the team behind Will & Grace.

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by SnakePlissken

Growing up as a forced Catholic really fucking sucked. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’m going to make a butt-fucking joke right? Nope. I was going to make a “getting up early on a Sunday” joke. It’s really the only thing worse than forced sodomy. But what those early Sundays were great for was shit booze. A little hit of something cheap and sweet when you’re half-awake really goes well with a slice o’ Christ. To this day I still don’t mind hitting the sauce a little early on the Day of Rest. Today I choose something cheap and purple. A little something called Four Loko Uva.

According to the webshite, Four Loko Uva (a.k.a. headache in a can), is named after a Brazilian berry of the same name. I’m guessing the berry doesn’t also contain taurine, guarana, caffeine, and 12 % ABV though. Yep, this shit has all that peppy stuff blended right in, not only making the drinker asshole-loud, but not able to pass out. Great.

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Lynx Suicide in Stand By

• INTO: Frogging, animal conservation, baking cupcakes, taking my bunny POPO for walkies, Hello Kitty, Japanese cuties, plushies, cute underwear, leopard print, cow print, and antiques.
• NOT INTO: Eating cupcakes, rudeness, animal abuse, winter, serious goth people.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Hello Kitty, cute plushies, sexy boys, Hugh Hefner, happy people.
• MAKES ME SAD: Sad people, roadkill, Robert Mugabe.
• HOBBIES: Making plushies……cuteness♥
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Hello Kitty, internet, summer, my 2 baby kitties, Fonzy & Tokio.
• VICES: Anything pink.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: With friends…….♥

Get to know Lynx better over at SuicideGirls.com!