by Fred Topel

“I hope one day Poison will make another record.”
– Bret Michaels

Reality TV rarely represents anything viewers would recognize as actual reality. The Bachelor uses real people but puts them in a dating pageant that never seems to result in any actual marriages. Survivor drops them on an island where no one’s life is actually at risk, and it’s just a popularity contest in the end.

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Milloux Suicide in H2O

• INTO: Murder By Death, forensics, film editing, sleeping, Siouxsie, the art of soap operas, country music, Cute Cannibals, claymation, reading upside-down, crying babies, painting, track bikes/cruisers, real emo, playing shows, Steampunk, and Satan.
• HOBBIES: Making movies, making music, making faces, making pictures, making cakes, making sex, Merc, buying mice, buying fish, buying Chapstick, riding bikes, riding my bike again, riding dudes, working on bikes, [not] working out, working my hips?
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My dog [Siouxsie], water, computer, avocados, dental floss.
• VICES: I have none.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Sleeping and/or on my bike.

Get to know Milloux better over at SuicideGirls.com!

by Brandon Perkins

It probably wasn’t the smartest move to get in the ice cream truck and go — especially with the needle nearing “E”— sometimes though waiting just don’t cut it. We may have been safe inside that garage, but that safety only felt temporary: the zombie clowns kept gathering and it was only a matter of time before they found a way in. Once we broke through the garage door, it took approximately 2.5 seconds for us to run over the first of those smiling undead, red-nosed motherfuckers. This one’s hair had sprouted into an orange frizz that splattered on the ice cream truck’s windshield and his stretched-long floppy foot snapped off at the ankle under our back right wheel, steaming a fuscia-colored mist in the rear view mirror. My day had already gotten better.

“They’re everywhere!” my girlfriend screamed. “Do we have enough gas to outrun them? What if we get a flat tire? Can they get in here? Do these doors lock? What happens if they get in here?”

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by Andrew E. Konietzky

October is my favorite month because locked in the gooey insides is my favorite holiday, Halloween. Before I head off to some of the cool seasonal events around Florida, I have put together a Top 10 List of Horror Films* for the many genre fans out there.

There are so many amazing films that it’s hard to narrow them down to a mere handful, and impossible to put them into some kind of order. And one person’s idea of a great horror film will likely differ from others. Someone who enjoys the gory and violent side of horror might be inclined to watch films like Saw, Cabin Fever, or Last House on the Left, while those are more into the psychological side of things might prefer The Shining, Night of the Living Dead, or The Exorcist. So first, I must post a small disclaimer: We all have our fears, scares, and dark corners, but here are 10 of my personal favorite dark, sticky, blood-soaked treats.

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by Ryan Stewart

“Are we the monsters?”
– Gareth Edwards

David Spade once had a stand-up bit about how audiences shouldn’t have to cut a movie slack for having a low budget, since ticket prices are all the same. Monsters, a new indie sci-fi film made for $15,000 – less than Kevin Smith’s Clerks – passes the high-expectations test with flying colors.

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Cheri Suicide in Longing

• INTO: Shoes, booze, boys with tattoos.
• NOT INTO: Haters.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Good metal shows.
• MAKES ME SAD: Hunting 🙁
• HOBBIES: Skateboarding.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My iPhone, my dog, skateboard, smokes, mascara.

Get to know Cheri better over at SuicideGirls.com!

by Damon Martin

Alone in the Universe? Still Not Sure

A few weeks ago, scientists discovered what was thought to be a habitable planet called Gliese 581-g, which had all the characteristics of a world that could create and contain life as we know it on Earth anyways. The “Goldilocks” planet was found to be in a zone not too close to its sun (ie. not too hot) and not too far away (ie. too cold), in the sweet spot in between where an atmosphere could form and life could grow.

Not so fast.

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