by Matt Dunbar

The cultural destruction wrought by the internet has reached truly apocalyptic proportions. The death of unbiased, objective news delivered exclusively by white males; the reduction of teenage attention spans to the length of half a Tosh.O punchline; and, perhaps most insidious, the very existence of iJustine threatens to unspool the moral fabric upon which our modern social order is built.

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by Jason K

Soon the cold wind of winter will usher in the holiday season. That means Turkey dinners, stuffing, cranberry sauce shaped like a can, and Santa squeezing his fat ass down your chimney. The change of weather beckons, and a change in thirst follows. Out with the weizens, summer ales, and heat quenching brews. In with the thick, hearty ales of winter; beers so satisfying they often are best served alone so as not to compete with a meal. These are best known as Winter Warmers.

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by Ryan Stewart

“Donny doesn’t give a fuck.”
-Eli Roth

“Donny doesn’t give a fuck,” is how Eli Roth sums up the bloody-minded motivations of his character in Quentin Tarantino’s delirious new WWII film, Inglourious Basterds. A Boston-bred Jewish kid turned soldier who is fully aware of the existence and breadth of the Holocaust as it’s occurring, and is motivated by inconsolable rage towards Nazis as a result, Donny is one of many carefully-sculpted, subtly modernized characters in a film that is itself a counterfactual kaleidoscope, cut loose from the moorings of history and propelled solely by the emotional impulses of its makers. Donny’’s blind, seething anger,– and the justice he dispenses with a baseball bat – are the secret weapons of the Basterds, an unlikely platoon of Jewish-American soldiers dropped into Nazi-occupied France by the Allies to act as a roving insurgency, capturing and mutilating Nazi stragglers in order to unnerve the German high command. At least, that’s their mission until they become tasked with something even grander – a top-secret assignment to target the Nazi leadership, which is personally shepherded by a cigar-chomping Winston Churchill.

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Astatine Suicide in Oasis

• INTO: Baking, tattoos, cars, music, photography, art, art history, dive bars, chivalry, education, veggies, hot pink & black, talk radio, cynicism.
• NOT INTO: Ignorance, body odor, handsy customers in the strip club, insecurity, narrow-mindedness, stereotypes, STALKERS!
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Cupcakes, muscle cars, my laptop, close friends, a fat bowl of kush, nerdy glasses on a guy, Djarums, La Crema ’07, dark chocolate, candles, Nag Champa (incense in general, really), taking photos, coffee.
• MAKES ME SAD: People who don’t recycle, fakeness, bad music, bad drivers, humidity, injustice, grammatical errors, misspelled words, animal abuse, people who perpetuate bad stereotypes, those who find no humor in, and/or don’t understand, SARCASM!
• HOBBIES: Anything involving passion, anger, or creativity.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: MacBook, iPhone, Pilot V7 rolling ball fine point pens, coffee, contact lenses, sunglasses, cinnamon gum, Djarum Blacks….
• VICES: I don’t consider anything a vice.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Wanting more time.

Get to know Astatine better over at SuicideGirls.com!