by Nicole Breanne

Guys, the Republican Debate in Las Vegas, Nevada happened Tuesday night…I’m writing about it now because I needed all of Wednesday to process what the fuck happened. Here are the highlights:

Michelle Bachmann, who is completely batshit crazy and was dressed like a sea captain for some reason, unleashed her “double wall” plan. She was very proud of the fact that she’s the only candidate to sign a plan with a double wall to protect our borders from illegal crossings. Michelle Bachmann is campaigning on the “double bag it” platform. It doesn’t work on condoms and it ain’t gonna work on illegal border jumping. Go back to your padded cell.

Ron Paul was there, and reminds me of that crazy uncle that is always invited to family gatherings though all anyone does is talk about how crazy he is and how they have no idea why they still allow him to come around. They just let him putter around in his boxer shorts and tattered robe talking to himself because he’s family. So he was there. Earlier in the day, he had talked to Wolf Blitzer about how he wants to get rid of five government cabinet positions and their associated agencies to cut $1 trillion from the budget including the Department of Energy and Department of Education –– cause who needs those? At the debate he brought up that time that Ronald Regan negotiated with terrorists and how no one held it against him. You guys remember that right? Regan negotiating with terrorists?

Next is Herman Cain, who scares me. His ideas are ludicrous and there’s a video of him singing “Imagine There’s No Pizza” set to the tune of the idealistic John Lennon classic. To top his crazy ass pizza off, he was quoted as saying: “Jesus was killed by a liberal court.” He also stated in a paper called The Perfect Conservative that “He (Jesus) helped the poor without one government program. He healed the sick without a government health care system. He fed the hungry without food stamps.” Continuing, Cain also noted that, “For three years He was unemployed, and never collected an unemployment check.” Maybe that’s because none of that existed, but I digress.

So at the debate everyone went apeshit over Cain’s 9-9-9 plan –– which sadly didn’t involve 9-inch pizzas with 9 toppings for $9.99. No Cain’s 9-9-9 plan involves 9% corporate business flat tax, 9% income flat tax and a 9% national sales tax. Everyone then jumped on how stupid this plan is. Rick Perry implied that it’s actually going to cost people more (which it will). Howard Cain explains it as “Mixing apples and oranges. State tax is an apple we are replacing apples with oranges. We are replacing current tax codes with oranges.” Well, thank Christ Herman, because I was worried about our vitamin C intake! Are Republican’s allergic to coherent explanations?

Moving on to Mitt Romney, he explained Romneycare, which is basically Obamacare. In fact lots of Republican’s were pissed at Mitt because his advisors told Obama how to put together Obamacare. So Mitt says, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Romney care works great. Massachusetts loves it,” but he would “never impose this on the nation”. Yeah man, don’t impose a working system on a nation that’s ranked below numerous so-called third world countries for healthcare. That’s madness!!!

But now we come to the big dogs, the main event: ROMNEY vs. PERRY. These dudes hate each other, and they don’t even try to hide it. Mitt Romney touched Rick Perry. Now that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but you do not touch your opponent during a debate. You do not place your hands on someone to get them to stop talking like they are a 5-year old upset about someone stealing their ball at recess. Romney then followed up this condescending gesture with this condescending quote: “You have a problem with letting people finish speaking. If you want to President you need to learn how to let both sides finish.” I’m sorry Mitt Romney, but your vast knowledge on how to be President comes from where? If you want to be President, maybe you should keep your pompous holier than thou attitude in check.

My favorite part of the debate was the moment Rick Perry brought up the fact that Mitt Romney employed illegals to work at his property as gardeners. Guys, I know it’s shocking, right? So Romney continues to mess with Texas, he does not give a fuck! He’s like, “Listen Tex!” OK, he didn’t exactly say that, but in my version of the debate he totally did. What he did say was that when he found out about the undocumented workers he confronted the company and told them, “Look, you can’t have any illegals working on our property. I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake.”

Wow, just wow. Drop the mic and walk off stage ‘cause it is over. Let me break down that quote that Republican Presidential candidate said on national TV at a debate:

• Part 1: “You can’t have any illegals working on our property.”

  He doesn’t say, “You can’t hire illegals period.” He says you just can’t have them on his property…which brings us to part two:

• Part 2: “I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake.”

  In other words the exploitation of immigrants for two bucks an hour would be totally fine if I wasn’t being looked at under a microscope. Where does it end Romney? “Get these drugs outta my house I’m running for office for Pete’s sake!” “Get that Tijuana stripper and donkey out of my back room, I’m running for office for Pete’s sake!” Guys, it’s gonna be epic at Romney’s house after he’s done running for office.

This campaign has more bad acting, dialogue, and action than a Stallone movie franchise. I cannot wait for PERRY and ROMNEY in REPUBLICAN DEBATE IX!

by Damon Martin

Finding humor and easy to understand facts as an atheist isn’t always an easy thing to do.

Being an atheist myself, I’m always searching out new ways to help people understand science, as well as why I reject faith and religion as a whole. Sometimes it involves long conversations over several hours, other times it’s watching a film like Bill Maher’s Religulous.

More often than not however it’s the suggestion for that friend, co-worker or acquaintance to read a book that I’ve devoured in the hopes that they will find something interesting or intriguing to capture their attention within it. Normally, I tell them to read the Bible cover to cover and they are almost assured to become an atheist, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Two such books have been released recently. One will make you laugh, but also question things like faith and religion. The other is a fantastic exploration of science triumphing over myth that could be used as a text book for any middle school.

Penn Jillette, the talking half of the famous magician duo Penn and Teller, released a book in late summer titled God No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales in which he presents his version of the ten atheist commandments.

The book was actually inspired by noted conservative and Mormon Glenn Beck who suggested while interviewing Penn once that atheists should have their own commandments to live by, much like those in the Bible that Christians claim to follow on a daily basis.

Penn explores his commandments with a slew of personal stories and encounters, while going right for the jugular with subjects like atheists vs. agnostics (the chapter is entitled “Agnostics: No One Can Know For Sure But I Believe They’re Full of Shit”).

His stories are told in a way that will definitely keep you laughing, but much like his atheist brethren Ricky Gervais, when Penn gets serious and wants to make a point, his writing is crisp, striking and well thought out.

God No! is a great introduction for anybody wanting to learn more about morality in the atheist world, while also finding humor in everyday situations that many atheists will encounter or in Penn’s case have encountered.

While Penn’s book is more of a straight forward slap in the face with reality about being an atheist, famed biologist and atheist Richard Dawkins‘ new book The Magic of Reality: How We Know What’s Really True is a spellbinding narrative of the wondrous world of science and how it compares to the myths that seemingly capture our attention as youths.

The book is aimed at children ages 12 and up, and really could be a science manual for kids who are intrigued by science and how things work.

Dawkins along with illustrator Dave McKean weave a beautiful scientific picture of the world while explaining things like where a rainbow comes from, why there are so many different animals, and who the first man was. The questions and myths are laid out and Dawkins sets out to not only disprove them, but explain how science works to give answers that are just as mystifying and amazing.

Dawkins takes the myths and tales that we all learned as children and debunks them in a way that not only makes sense, but makes things fit together like a puzzle.

Throughout the book, Dawkins even admits there are some things he doesn’t know the answer to, but unlike myths and religion, he admits to it and doesn’t try to come up with a story to fill in the gaps in his knowledge.

The Magic of Reality is a book that can be taught to children, but many adults will find just as enthralling. There is also an iPad version of the book (which I purchased), which is a fantastic way to read the text and watch the illustrations come to life.

With either book, God No! by Penn Jillette or The Magic of Reality by Richard Dawkins, science and atheism are explored, examined and explained in some form or fashion. Both books are well-written, well thought out and a great addition to a library.

Even if you’re not an atheist, everyone can learn something from Dawkins and Penn.

by Annarose

A column which highlights some of SG’s fave watering holes and the house specialities served up in them. This week we pull up a stool at the Idle Hands Bar in NYC.

Bourbon, beer, and rock…oh my! Celebrating a one year anniversary in the East Village of New York City, Idle Hands Bar is a classy place to toss back a few brews and rock out. The libation station carries over 85 different bottles of bourbon and over 50 craft beers from across the globe. In addition, they recently partnered with That Burger and now serve some of the best burgers in Manhattan at a reasonable price (ranging from $5.50 to $11.00).

After talking with Marc Schapiro and Rob Morton, partner owners of Idle Hands, it became clear to me that their overall goal is to have a good time with delicious drinks and rockin’ music. They frequently host parties for bands and have a reputation for awesome post-concert afterparties. Prior to opening the bar, the guys worked in the music/entertainment industry with bands like Shadows Fall, Thursday, Dillinger Escape Plan, and various record companies. Marc also told me that As I Lay Dying and All Time Low have partied at Idle Hands, which just so happen to be two of my favorite bands.

Rob, the head bartender, sent me the recipe for his signature drink, the Battle of New Orleans, which is a twist on an old-fashioned whiskey cocktail called the Sazerac that Rob’s finessed with his own unique spin.

Idle Hands’ Battle of New Orleans

2oz bourbon
1.5oz Simple Syrup
Dash Angostura Bitters
Dash Peychaud’s Bitters
Touch of Herbsaint to rinse the glass

Served in a champagne coup

In a pint glass add bourbon, simple syrup, both bitters and lots of ice. Stir for 8-10 seconds to chill the liquid and impart a little water. In the coup add the Herbsaint, tilt the glass and rotate to coat the inside, and then dump the extra. Strain the cocktail into the coup and garnish with the lemon twist.

I’m planning on heading to New York City in December and will absolutely be stopping by to check out the scene. Marc told me that he is a “big fan of SuicideGirls” so I’m pretty positive that I’ll quickly become a big fan of Idle Hands. Unique bourbons, cold brews, and rock & roll?! Sounds like a party I am not going to want to miss!

Find Idle Hands on the interweb, Facebook and Twitter.

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By Fred Topel

Joshua Martson’s debut feature film, Maria Full of Grace, managed to be a suspenseful thriller as well as a gripping drama. It introduced the world to Catalina Sandina Moreno as Maria, a desperate Colombian girl who becomes a drug mule, as many do in real life. Her journey to the U.S. is frought with danger from the law, the criminal element and her own body. After Maria, Marston spent seven years directing television episodes. His prolific career included How to Make It In America, In Treatment and Law & Order. At this year’s Toronto International Film Festival, Marston returned to film with the premiere of his second feature.

The Forgiveness of Blood portrays an even more foreign world than South American drug smuggling. In Albania, two families start a blood feud after one father kills the other’s son. Per tradition, the offending family must stay at home permanently. If the other family sees them out, they vow to kill anyone for retribution. Only one daughter is given a pass to work and bring home supplies. The subject provoked an interesting discussion with Marston in a Toronto hotel room. Even a simple inquiry probably couldn’t help coming across as an accusation and Marston took an objective position, seeing both sides. Forgiveness of Blood opens next year.

Read our exclusive interview with Joshua Marston on SuicideGirls.com.

SakuraRedd Suicide in Heaven Scent

• INTO: Japan, the fetish scene, Japanese rope bondage, red lipstick, seamed stockings, tattoos, piercings, latex, photography, Nobuyoshi Araki, Gilles Berquet, Hello Kitty, rain, alcohol, sex!
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Rain, smell and taste of coffee, traveling on trains, eating cupcakes, music, kissing, love, going out with friends, dancing, getting drunk, staying up all night, spending my mornings with a hangover, sex!
• HOBBIES: Drinking Beer.

Get to know SakuraRedd better over at SuicideGirls.com!