Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony30

By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I have a girlfriend named Stephanie and I love her with all my heart. We were together for about three months and everything was perfect. Then she had to move to Miami for family issues and is supposed to come back to Vermont this November. We still talk and she says she loves me a lot still, but her status updates on MySpace and stuff give me a different idea. What should I do? I don’t want to lose her.

A. First and foremost you have to be aware that all those social network sites are epicenters for drama. For some reason people often post things there that are exaggerated or that don’t make any sense in real life. It makes me go “Oi, vey!” every day. If her updates make you doubt the honesty of what she says to you, do not check her MySpace anymore. I know this is easier said than done. Been there, done that.

It’s either this or talking to her about it. Talking about something that honestly bothers you is essential to a healthy relationship. Also you need to learn to ignore your doubts and just trust her, no matter what her MySpace status says. Only then you will be ready for a long lasting and harmonic relationship.

As it’s already November, I assume she will be back soon. Stay tough and enjoy your reunion. Eventually bring it up when you feel comfortable talking about it. It will probably give you piece of mind.

Sincerely,

Elea

Q. There’s this girl, we started out as friends and over time my feelings grew. I gave the relationship everything I had. I’ve never felt the way I did before. We had an open, honest relationship that, to me, couldn’t be more perfect. She did a lot for me too. When I lost everything she got me a place to stay. After about three days she started leaving and eventually stopped coming back. She moved out and kinda left me with these people I hardly knew. Then she told me not to talk to her anymore. Before all that, I was taking care of her – food, money, transportation – everything I could do to make her happy. She’d tell me she would be lost without me and that I’m her world. Then a of couple days later, she said she would never see me as her boyfriend and that I should stop trying to be. I always respected her and never grabbed her or touched her like that. As much as I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, I was able to control those feelings, but now I’ve come to find out she moved into a new boyfriend’s house. I don’t get why I got the “forget about me and don’t talk to me ever again” speech. I gave her everything I could and don’t understand why she turned her back. I want her in my life, even as just a friend. I just don’t know what to do.

A. First off, I’m sorry to hear she treated you in such a horrible manner. In my opinion, it seems like she wanted to be friends with you and nothing more all along. Of course it’s hard to not fall for your best friends, given the amount of time you end up spending with them. It was an amazing thing she did in helping get a place for you in your time of need. But it was also mean of her to just change her feelings towards your friendship at the end.

I know you had feelings for her, but if she isn’t interested in you in a romantic way, it’s time to cut ties and move on. Maybe you talked about your feeling towards her so much that it started pushing her away. In the end, if she can’t appreciate all the things you did for her, then she isn’t the friend you thought she was. There are plenty of girls who will love to be with you. There is a girl for you out there, you just haven’t found her yet. In the meantime, focus on yourself. Hang out with friends, do things you love to do that make you content. In time you will get over her. And make sure you are completely over her before you start anything new with another girl, because it wouldn’t be fair for the new girl to carry your extra baggage. It’s now time to leave her alone with her new boyfriend and move on.

Good luck doll!

I really hope it works out for you:)

Dorsal

Q. I’ve been with this man for 10 yrs. We have two kids. I’ve also been seeing this girl for a little over a year. The man I’m still seeing is aware of our relationship, has issues with it, but allows it to continue. The woman I’ve been seeing thinks it is over between the two of us – and it pretty much is between me and him. I’m ready to make a decision between the two of them, although I’m not sure what the right decision would be. I know if I haven’t started a relationship on truths, that it won’t last, but I really love this woman. How should I handle this situation?

A. First of all, I would say you need to be honest with this woman. Tell her truthfully about your relationship with this man. If she accepts what you tell her, then you can make your decision without the worry in the back of your mind that you’re basing a relationship on lies. This should help clear your head enough to make the decision happily. When it comes to deciding, you need to think of your happiness first. You may think, “but what about our children,” but you need to realize that whilst you get called mom every day, you are also you, and you need to be happy too. If you feel you’re going to live a happier, more fulfilling life with the woman, then head that way, but if you think you’ll be happier with the man, then stay. From what you said in your message you are in love with the woman, but mentioned nothing about loving the man. From this I get the idea that you have already subconsciously decided that your heart lies with the woman.

However you decide to act, I hope it goes well for you 🙂

Love Galda x

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls crack team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com