Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony1

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Apple and Rydell

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I love my wife and we’ve almost been married a year now. I find myself less and less attracted to her physically and I’m not sure why. She is a gorgeous woman with beautiful features. The only thing I can think of is maybe the medicine I’m on is contributing to this, or the fact that she’s put on some weight. I basically have to force myself to have sex with her or we won’t have it at all. Maybe it’s because right after we got married I basically had to beg for sex and never got it so now I’m not willing to try? I’m worried. I’m finding myself more and more attracted to other women, and I’m hardly interested in her even if she throws herself at me. Please help me.

A: First I would say, don’t do anything drastic with people you find attractive that could affect your marriage. Think of what attracted you to your wife in the first place. If that doesn’t work for you, you may just be bored with the relationship. If that’s the case, you have to do your part in making it exciting again. There are a million ways to kink up your sex life, and the relationship in general.

As for your medication, is it possible for you to try for a substitute?

Also, a lot of people put on weight when they are very comfortable in their relationship. It’s happened to me. I have a friend who calls it “happy fat.” Maybe you can suggest that you want to start a healthier diet, and you want her to be your partner in it. Say you need an exercise buddy.

And finally, any rejection can put a little dent in anyone’s self-esteem. However you shouldn’t let rejection ruin sex with the person you love. Maybe she didn’t want to be begged for sex, but romanced into it. Maybe that’s what you need too. I hope this helps, and good luck to you.

Apple

Q: My girlfriend is perfectly fine having sex in missionary every time. When I suggest something else she says she likes it missionary, and I don’t really want to press the matter. How can I press it without going without sex for a while?

A: Well, it may just be that she has never really enjoyed other positions with other people or maybe she is a bit self conscious and shy about it.

Tell her that you like missionary but that it gets a bit tedious and you would love to try a position that is mutually beneficial for you both. Maybe to get her to try something new, go out to the book store and buy a Kama Sutra together. There’s actually several different versions of the missionary position – you could start there and work your way up. Maybe flag a few positions you like and have her do the same then review each others position and pick a night to each try one from each other’s list in the book.

If she is willing to try something new then tell her how sexy/beautiful/sultry she looked while in that position and how much it turned you on to have her like that. Females respond more to that then a visual stimulation, so next time she might be more willing to try it again or something a bit more risqué.

If she is really is unwilling to try anything other than missionary, talk to her and try and find out why. Talking can sometimes solve the issue as well. It may just be something as simple as the fact that the positions she tried were not comfortable for her and made sex painful. But it can’t hurt to ask, even if you get rebuffed. Opening up a dialog and getting a book to inspire new positions should help move the issue along nicely. Hopefully this works for you hun. <3 Rydell

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com