Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony0
Posted In All Things SG,Blog,Love,Relationships,Sex,Society
by SG’s Team Agony feat. Jaeci
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
Q: I’m in an odd situation that makes me feel like I’m living in some crazy romance sitcom. I flirt, a LOT, and normally it’s all completely harmless. Then one night my boss (who happens to be my age, early twenties, and one of those man whores that just oozes charm – he’s that kind of guy you just love to hate) took it from just being jokes to us actually messing around. There was no sex, just basic fun and teasing.
At first I thought it was going to be fun, even a bit sexy in that “dirty secret” kind of way. But it is so complicated! And I know it’s complicated because of him. He makes this whole thing suck. He’s always busy and completely terrified of us getting caught. We almost never hang out, which means we almost never do anything. It seems like we only have “fun” if we close together and everyone else leaves before we do.
I decided that the whole thing was stupid and that I was done and started leaving him alone. When I did that he started screwing with my head and saying just the right things to get me all flustered. When he does this, he’s all I can think about for awhile. And he does it every time I start leaving him alone.
But the part that confuses the hell out of me is if I try and hang out with him, even blatantly agree to have sex when he suggested it, NOTHING HAPPENS. Then rise, repeat. I leave him alone, he starts going out of his way to get my attention. I don’t know what to do about it anymore. He mind fucks away all of my common sense. I would just like to have sex with him and get it over with, but I have no idea how to go about it, or even if it’s possible with a guy like him.
I can’t talk about any of this with anyone here since no one is supposed to know (and my best friend told me I shouldn’t even flirt with him since I am “way to cute for him,” which makes me even less inclined to ask her for an opinion). I can’t get any input on what I should/could be doing, then I saw your post on twitter and figured I’d ask the lovely ladies of SG that might be a bit more open minded to me just wanting to have a good time with this.
What do I do with this situation? Is there still potential for some fun, or has this whole thing just turned into a lost cause? And if it is a lost cause, would you have any recommendations for screwing with his head? I think some karma would be nice LOL!
A: Alright, my girl, there’s one major thing here that tells me how to direct you. I’ll even quote someone involved in the situation — you. “He makes this whole thing suck.” Hmm?
A “dirty little secret” affair, whether or not is a good idea, is supposed to be fun, sexy, and exciting. This doesn’t sound terribly fun, sexy, OR exciting. Get your wits about you, and play off his advances. When you really want to sleep with someone, you sleep with someone. He could have a million reasons for not pursuing a sexual relationship with you. He could be afraid of what will happen if you actually sleep together and eventually something goes wrong between you — sexual harassment claims, the leverage he fears you’ll have over him, etc. It could also be a case of someone wanting something they know they shouldn’t have. Or the classic thrill-of-the-chase syndrome, wherein the catch does not seem as interesting as the pursuit.
The attention you give him is for sure boosting his ego — but as it seems he’s got enough of that as it is, you can drop it. You definitely haven’t made any kind of case that would suggest that he is worth pursuing. Sounds like high time you stop responding to his flirtations.
I’m not saying to be mean. In fact, that would be foolish — he’s your boss. Be casual and friendly, but pour the proverbial bucket of cold water on your head and make your hots for him fizzle out.
Also, there’s no need for some kind of karmic piñata smashing where you swing blindly at the dude’s balls and hope to get him back for leading you on. If you like your job, don’t actively mess with your boss. Your lack of interest will be enough of a mindfuck for him. Just leave it alone, leave him alone, and you’ll silently put him back in his place — he’s your boss, you’re his employee, it could have been hot, instead it was lame. Go back to being on friendly terms, now everyone zip up your pants, it wasn’t getting anywhere anyway.
Lots of luck!
PS. I have had a boss-affair, I speak from experience, and I judge you not.
PPS. If you’re looking for a guy to sleep with, don’t pick someone “you just love to hate.” Seriously, lady! 😉
Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com
