Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony0
Posted In All Things SG,Blog,Love,Relationships,Sex,Society
by SG’s Team Agony feat. Fabrizia and Morgan
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months. At first everything was great. He announced us being together on Facebook and all that. But one day he suddenly set his status to single. I didn’t make a big deal out of it because I don’t even have mine up. But then he blocked me from viewing his wall, and when I asked him about it, he lied and said he turned it off for everybody. When I found out that wasn’t true and confronted him, he turned it back on but took away my posting rights so that I couldn’t make comments.
When I scrolled to read old posts he had one that said: “Its about to get cold, I need a nice girl to keep me warm. Is she here?” When I asked him about it, he said he posted it because we had a fight and he felt like I was going to break up with him. I have a decent memory and we hadn’t fought that day, but I second guessed myself and went along with it. Then he told me it was better that we weren’t Facebook friends because I read too much into his cryptic posts and he didn’t want me to think anything was going on just because girls post on his wall.
Despite the online stuff, everything else seems OK. He texts a few times throughout the day and we hangout almost every evening. But he is unemployed, so I am the one doing the driving, the food buying, the entertainment purchasing, etc. My question is: Am I being used for money, sex, and transportation? Or am I seriously being paranoid and over-reactive?
A: I think it would be wise for you to sit down and give some thought as to what exactly it is about this guy that you find attractive. Based on what you have shared, he doesn’t seem to have many redeeming qualities. For one, he is unemployed and you are questioning if you are being used. If you have to question that, I would assume that he is not showing appreciation or making you feel valued for being so accommodating. At the very least, he should be bending over backwards to make you feel cared for, special, beautiful, secure, etc. However, from what you have stated he isn’t even doing that! He’s lying to you, being elusive about his relationship status online, and placing the blame for his shitty behavior on you. The guy sounds like he isn’t worth all of the energy and thought you are placing on him. So to answer your question, no, I do not think you are over-reacting at all. This guy has proven to be dishonest and immature. Please think about what I am saying and try to assess whether or not this is truly worth your energy and your heart. I suspect that you already know that you can do better!
Best of luck to you.
Fabrizia
xoxo
Q. I recently asked a girl to go on a date with me, she said that she was a lesbian, but she would still go on the date with me because I’m a nice guy and kinda cute. We went on the date, got some good food, saw a movie, then came back to my place. She kept reiterating that “nothing is going to happen,” and that she had a girl friend (who I met just a couple days later). We got back to my place, hung out a little, and watched another movie. She got close and touchy, but nothing beyond that happened. We went out to lunch and on a couple more dates after that, with and without her girlfriend. She would get touchy with me at times while holding her girls hand. Anyway, I’m just super confused about what I should do or how I should act and what any of this means. Can you help me?
A: It sounds like your friend has made her intentions clear verbally but is confusing you by getting physically close. Keep in mind that she may just be a particularly touchy-feely person. Some people are affectionate in that way and that doesn’t necessarily mean they have any interest in getting into your pants. Despite potentially confusing physical interactions, I would advice you to listen to what your friend has been saying to you. In your own words she has been reiterating that nothing is going to happen between you two. If her words say, “we are only going to be friends” –– respect those words. Look at it this way: if you assume you have no chance and it turns out that your friend IS attracted to you, it can be a pleasant surprise. As opposed to waiting around hoping you’ll be the dude exception to her rules of attraction and being constantly disappointed.
Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com
