Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony0
Posted In All Things SG,Blog,Love,Relationships,Sex,Society
by SG’s Team Agony feat. Yulia
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
Q: I’ve never really ever written to one of these before but…yea…I’ve been single for the last eight months, since my ex dumped me (I later found out the she was cheating on me). Ever since I’ve been living the single life, which is a life that i absolutely hate. Despite looking, I have been unable to find a girlfriend, and it’s becoming increasingly more frustrating.
Lately I’ve become extremely attracted, both physically and intellectually, to a girl in one of my college classes. When I asked her out she told me that she wasn’t going to date during college and I retreated with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs at yet another rejection. Several weeks later her and I spent an hour and half just looking at pictures on her laptop after class, and a friend informed me that they think this girl actually is into me. So if that’s the case, why would she turn me down?
I mean I’ve heard that women find confidence sexy, but when all someone has know are liars, cheaters, and rejection, how am I supposed to be able to have any confidence? I’ve had two very serious girlfriends both cheat on me, and it’s just made me angry and bitter. Is it something about me that drives these girls to other men? Are they just cold heartless bitches?
I’m just so sick of being single, and being lonely, and I could really use some answers.
Thanks.
A: I always feel for people who have difficulty enjoying being single. I strongly advocate single time as freedom time, meaning you have the freedom to do what you enjoy 100% of the time. I hope you find ways to take advantage of this. This might not be what you want to hear, but I think you should consciously spend a bit more time living the single life, but from now on focusing on enjoying your life for what it is and using your free time for you.
Why not join a sports team, take up a new hobby, or volunteer for a project at work? Not only will you be busier and have less time to dwell on past relationships or your single status, but hopefully your confidence will grow as your life does. When you meet your next girlfriend or even your next date, you will be happy with yourself and full of confidence.
As for the girl at college, unless you get to know her better, you’ll never know her reasons for turning down the date. She may indeed find you attractive, but if she feels strongly about not dating during school and has a busy life already, those reasons may be more important to her than her attraction to you or any other potential date. Do keep in mind this is likely not personal if she’s focusing on her education above all else or not dating for other reasons.
Also remember that you are also still in college, with plenty going on already in your life. Being in a relationship is great, but you have a long life ahead of you and if you’re not in one right now, who’s to say you won’t be by the time you graduate or shortly thereafter? I know some people meet their long-term partners in college or even high school, but most don’t. Try to stop focusing on having a girlfriend and just enjoy dating and meeting new people.
– Yulia
Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com
