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Jul 2012 09

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Rydell

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Rydell in Changing Seasons]

Q: My girlfriend of seven years left me recently and it devastated me. We lived together for most of that time, and I was ready to marry her. After she landed a new job in a salon, our communication broke down starting a downward spiral. We never really fought about anything of importance, and we’re incredibly happy and good together up to the end. She left saying it was because she felt under appreciated/loved and that we were growing apart. I know I fell into a ‘funk’ and became less outwardly affectionate towards the end, but the feelings I have only grew, not subsided. It’s been two months and haven’t had any contact, and I want nothing more than the chance to see if she was right about growing apart and see where that takes us. What can I do to try and get her to see that I’m a changed man that understands what went wrong, and that I was a chance to start over and date her again?

—A sad and optimistic guy in the South Bay

A: If you are looking to “reconnect” with her, contact her and see where her head is. Maybe she is in the same mind set or maybe she isn’t. All you can do is ask. If she feels that enough time hasn’t past or really just wants to move on and away from the relationship you had, then really all you can do is respect it and try something new in your life.

Try dating someone else when you feel your heart is healed enough and take things slow. I am sure it will feel weird at first, but in time maybe you will see more “little things” that maybe weren’t so right with your past relationship.

Getting a little perspective with time and space, will help you realize the things you don’t want in a current relationship, and also recognize the things that were good that you would like to carry over to a new one.

Like I say, talk to each other and see if a reconciliation is possible. if not, have a Plan B and start there. Maybe in time she’ll realize what she wants is what she already had, and maybe she won’t. Who know, by then you may have something even better anyways.

Good luck.

<3 Rydell

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