Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony4

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Smythe, Leandra, and Atlea

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: What’s the best way to strike up a conversation with an SG on the site? I really love SuicideGirls and I’ve made a lot of friends since I joined the site. So how do I talk to them on here without coming off like a random loser/stalker?

A: To find ideas of how to strike up a conversation, read her journal and profile. As with any beginning of a friendship, common interests help. People are people and everyone reacts differently, so there isn’t a real fail-proof way of befriending SGs. There are some basic things of how to not come off as a stalker or loser however.

Things not to do:

• Send messages out of the blue about dreams/fantasies you’ve had about the SG.


• Send messages that just say “Hi” or “How are you?” or “What are you up to?” If a girl doesn’t have time to keep a journal, she’s not going to have time to reply to your pointless message.


• Open a message with how great her spread shot was in her last set. Yeah, we know, we’re on a nudie site, but come on, we’re more than just that.


• Be self deprecating. It’s weird to receive a message about your personal pity party. “So I’m a big dork and stuff, and I know you probably won’t read this, and if you do you’re probably going to think I’m weird…” Yup, I’ll think you’re weird, that’s for sure.

All the girls are different about the friend requests they accept. Some only want their actual friends on the site as friends and won’t accept friend requests from people they don’t know. If there is a SG you want to follow, but she won’t accept your friendship you can always bookmark her profile and she will show up on your feed. That way you can be alerted when she writes a new blog and comment on what she has to say.

Also, if you see an SG make an interesting comment in a group you’re a member of it could be a decent time to PM/leave a blog comment for the girl and tell her she’s rad and you’re picking up what she’s putting down, instead of just replying as “+1” in a thread.

Smythe
xoxox

Q: Here is my conundrum. I have recently moved into my first home on my own in an apartment style condo building. Since I moved in I’ve noticed this beautiful woman every now and then. We exchange pleasantries when we pass one another in the hallways or lobby, and we have shared the same elevator a few times. I would love to get to know her a lot better, enough that her and I can become close friends, or perhaps more. I live on the 4th floor, a quick ride in the elevator, and she is about 7-plus floors above me. How do I strike up a conversation of interest without seeming too creepy in a cramped elevator? I don’t want her to think I’m a desperate opportunist.

She has two dogs and walks them I would assume three or four times a day. Would it seem odd to ask if I could join her and her dogs one time at a stage where we don’t know each other beyond a few random greetings? Should it be something that I wait for a bit to accomplish, and let nature and time take their course? I know that some gals are quite picky about how a guy does certain things when they first meet (courage and self assuredness), but this is something that I do not want to mess up on (she is way too pretty to screw up and look like an ass). I would like to go in with a cool head, and some cleaver help behind me 😛

A: Every girl is different and likes a different approach, but we’re all similar in some ways. Since you have exchanged pleasantries a few times, I think it’s time to move beyond the typical “hi” and “how are you” and onto something else so you can move forward with this.

You don’t get to know someone unless you talk, and walking with her and her dogs sounds like the perfect plan to get to know her better and for her to get to know you better without any pressure. You’re going to be in public, I think that is a less intimidating situation for her than the alternatives. So basically, I would go for it. Ask her how her day was and if she would mind you joining her for a walk with her dogs. I would really love it if a guy asked me that instead of the usual pick up lines or just staring at me.

As for asking her in a cramped elevator, well that would suck… you must see her somewhere else sometimes outside of the elevator? In the lobby? Getting her mail? Just keep calm and collected, keep it casual and relaxed. Hopefully in no time at all you guys will be friends… and maybe you guys will really hit it off and become something more!

Good luck! Let us know how it goes =)

Leandra

Q: Here’s the situation. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost two months now. We’re not official but I feel as though we might as well be because I’m not seeing anyone else, and, as far as I know, neither is he. He’s a really sweet guy and pretty much everything I want in a BF, but there are some issues. I feel like I have to text him first or I won’t hear from him, and I only really see him like once a week. He’s really great when we’re together, but it’s hard to read him when we’re not. He’s bipolar and has anxiety issues, so it always makes me nervous to ask him where we stand or how he feels about me. I want to know where he sees us going, or if I’m just some sort of booty call – cause that’s the way I’m starting to feel. What do I do?

XoXo,
Confused Amor

A: Hi Confused Amor!

Let me tell you, this is a situation most people find themselves in at least once in their life. The total fear of rejection and humiliation keeps us from asking the question we all deserve an answer to: Do you want to be with me?

There is no denying it, it does occasionally backfire. But couldn’t that be a blessing in disguise? You say you’re not official yet, but you do mention that it makes you nervous to ask him where you both stand. I’ll assume that the topic has not been approached already.

I can understand the want for relationship ‘safety’ after 2 months, but remember that for some people that is a very small amount of time. But before I approach that, let’s look at some other issues here. Have you talked to him about the texting thing? Some people just don’t like texting so much (guilty!). However, if you notice him starting up text convos with other people regularly, but (almost) never with you, then maybe that should be something you discuss before the relationship question.

You also mentioned he has anxiety/bipolar issues. I would start by asking myself if that is something I’m prepared to deal with, because as much as a romance is a whirlwind at first, in a serious relationship you eventually get to the gritty parts. I’m not in any way implying that you shouldn’t be with him for that reason, but it’s a question worth asking yourself – especially if you already find yourself in a situation where it’s causing you a bit of grief this early on in the relationship.

Going back to my first point, if you have seen him once a week for two months, that’s a total of eight days. Some people are nowhere ready to commit after this amount of time, even if it’s simply for the boyfriend/girlfriend title. Others, like yourself, feel that this is a reasonable amount of time, and would rather know where they are going to avoid wasting time and risking more heartache down the line. There really is no wrong or right here, just the need for two people to see it the same way.

One way to get an indication of how things stand, without necessarily asking, is looking at his track record if that’s an option for you. Another important question to ask yourself beforehand is whether or not you would be okay being the booty call. This serves two purposes: finding out if, in fact, it would hurt you to get that as an answer, and keeping you from making heat of the moment, on the spot decisions (were you not to see eye to eye on the matter) that you may regret later on.

There really is no right way to ask, but the bottom line is that you need to. Being rejected stings, but not knowing where you stand is worse in the long term. And hey, you sound like a really sweet, thoughtful, down to earth person, and you totally deserve to know where you’re headed. Just approach the subject delicately, and if he’s half a decent human being, then he should be straightforward with you.

Best of luck!

Atlea

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls crack team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com