Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Dancing in the Rain5
Posted In Blog,Booze,Food & Drink,Love,Relationships,Sex,Society
by Laurelin
Disappointment is one of the worst feelings in the world. I vividly remember experiencing it as a little girl who so badly wanted a cat for her birthday; my parents had a huge wrapped gift on the table when I woke up, and as I tore through the paper I was so sure it must be something for my new cat. It was a birdcage, and as it took everything in me not to break down in tears. I forced a smile, and I named my first pet parakeet Buttercup.
Later on in high school I would pick out my favorite outfit just to have my crush be out sick that day. I would do something out of line at home and have my parents so upset that they weren’t even angry, just disappointed, and I wished with all my heart I could take it back but I never could.
As I get older I notice that a lot of the time the fierce optimism I associate with my bright demeanor has faded. When one always expects to be let down, it almost makes the inevitable disappointment more manageable. That guy you liked, it never would have worked out anyways. He would never like someone like you. Things would be too complicated, too messy and it’s probably better this way, even though inside I’m screaming because I want so badly for just one person to prove me wrong.
I remember the moment I realized my last relationship was over, the black cloud of disappointment just washed over me like a wave and I was shaken to the core with the realization that this was really it. I was back to being just me, not me and him. It was the day after his birthday, and we were supposed to meet for a drink at the bar we worked at. I wanted to see him so badly, our schedules were tough and we rarely had days off together. I waited…
Every time the door opened I looked, and it was never him. A lifetime spent watching the door, and he never came, my cell phone eventually glowed with a text that simply said, “I’m sorry.” I walked home and I watched the trains go by under the overpass and I knew it was over, this was the last time he would let me down.
We all have baggage. An expected crash and burn after so many before seems only right; but maybe, just maybe, this time things will be different. As someone new comes into your life, there’s that fine line between great expectations and where they’re going to fall. I can’t help but find myself waiting for a storm, holding my breath, forever waiting for disaster.
It’s exhausting and I wish for something different. Outside it starts to rain, and I quicken my pace as I head for the bar. I wonder if he’s there yet, and I wish for sun briefly before realizing I don’t even care. No matter how grey the sky becomes and how rarely the sun seems to shine, maybe I’ve been going about things all wrong. Maybe the key is just to learn to dance in the rain.
Related Posts:
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Almost Thirty
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Just Friends
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Contentment and Other Boring Possibilities
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Last Friday
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: No One Nails the Cry Face and Other Tales of Woe
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Of Lies and Half Truths
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: I Would Never Look Through Your Phone and Other Trust Issues
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: My Manager’s Pants Look Better On The Floor And Other Tales Of Responsibility
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Blonde Ambition
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Love is Better Soaked in Tequila
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Apologies and Other Useless Utterances
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Liquid Running
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Anger and Other Mostly Useless Emotions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: One of the Guys
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Case of the Crazies
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa’
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives
[…] Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Dancing in the Rain Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Almost Thirty Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Just Friends Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Contentment and Other Boring Possibilities Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Last Friday Life Beyond the Bar Scene: No One Nails the Cry Face and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Of Lies and Half Truths Life Beyond the Bar Scene: I Would Never Look Through Your Phone and Other Trust Issues Life Beyond The Bar Scene: My Manager’s Pants Look Better On The Floor And Other Tales Of Responsibility Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Blonde Ambition Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Love is Better Soaked in Tequila Life Beyond the Bar Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Fake It ‘Til You Make It Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Apologies and Other Useless Utterances Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Liquid Running Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Anger and Other Mostly Useless Emotions Life Beyond the Bar Scene: One of the Guys Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Case of the Crazies Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa’ Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist? Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives new RealTidbits.Comments({ "target" : document.getElementById("realtidbits-comments"), "appkey": "dev.suicidegirlsblog.com", "backplane": { "busName": "suicidegirlsblog.com", "rpx": "https://suicidegirls.rpxnow.com/" } ,"richTextEditor": true /* ,"itemsPerPage": 25 ,"guestComments": false ,"richTextEditor": true ,"rssFeed": true ,"preModeration": false */}); […]
[…] Posts: Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Star Struck And Other Sly Tales Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Dancing in the Rain Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Almost Thirty Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Just Friends Life Beyond the […]
[…] Night Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Rescued Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Star Struck And Other Sly Tales Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Dancing in the Rain Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Almost Thirty Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Just Friends Life Beyond the […]
[…] Night Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Rescued Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Star Struck And Other Sly Tales Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Dancing in the Rain Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Almost Thirty Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Just Friends Life Beyond the […]
[…] Night Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Rescued Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Star Struck And Other Sly Tales Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Dancing in the Rain Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Almost Thirty Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Just Friends Life Beyond the […]