By SG’s Team Agony
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
Q. My name’s DJ and I have a problem: I’ve been with my GF for a year as of Oct 10th. I don’t know if she’s really into me anymore. I try calling and texting her all the time with no response. I love her to death and I wanna know what y’alls think.
A. Hey DJ, it sounds like you’ve got a situation there. Have you tried telling your sweetheart how you feel about her not returning your calls? Maybe she has other priorities right now (like school or a job) that are preventing her from giving you the attention that you want (and deserve, duh!). Just ask your baby doll what her deal is and hopefully it’s nothing to worry about. But if you’ve addressed your concern and she’s still distant and unresponsive when you two are together it might be that (A) she’s not really feelin’ you anymore and/or (B) because someone else has swept her off her feet while you weren’t looking. In that case it’s time to bid your darling farewell and find yourself a lady that won’t make you question whether you’re still Mr. Right! (She’s out there, I promise.)”
Clio
xoxo
Q. So there is a girl that I’m interested in and she is into me too, but our church has a way of doing things that I’m not used to. I want to tell her how I feel but I don’t want to complicate what we have already…What should I do?
A. I’ve gotta say, your question raised so many intriguing questions for me that I’ve been imagining movie plots all morning to explain them, especially the mysterious part about your church’s way of doing things. If any of them pan out into a major motion picture, I’ll be sure to tip my hat to you in the credits š
It sounds like you’re a relative noob to this church, but you’ve been around long enough to get involved in a church activity, like youth group, that’s allowed you to strike up some level of friendship with this girl. That’s good. It’s a low-pressure way to get to know her better and to learn the rules of engagement in this new environment. If your church actually has formal guidelines regarding dating, this group activity would be a good place to find out about them. Your church website or priest would be another good resource if you’d rather not ask around the group you’re both in.
Otherwise, just take it slow rather than blurting out “I think you’re bangin’, want to go out?” Hopefully you have mutual interests outside the church group, like a sport or Italian film, or I don’t know, beekeeping. Anything, really, outside the church. Suggest joining a co-ed league for a sport, or seeing a Fellini flick at the local university, going to your town’s local beekeeping society meeting – whatever is related to your mutual interest. If you’re nervous about this sounding too much like a formal date, then suggest doing the activity with a group of people you both know. If she’s eager, then that’s a great sign she wants to hang out with you more and get to know you better. If she’s not excited about it, maybe she’s just interested in being friends. The more time you can spend with her, the better you get to know her, the more confident you’ll feel about knowing when the time is right to tell her you’re interested in a relationship.
Good luck!
Q. I’m in my 40s, divorced, father of three daughters who live with me most of the week – thus need to live at home with parents for help with kids. How do I meet girls (especially SuicideGirl type) for dating?
A. You have a lot going on right now. You are a parent of three girls, which is a handful in a two-parent household, and you are single-handedly the main provider for them most of the time. You don’t say whether you have a job or receive child support or not, but regardless of the specifics of your finances, the bottom line is that you cannot support yourself and your family right now. Do you really think bringing another person into the equation is going to make things any easier?
Relationships are hard work. You’ve already got your work cut out. Your priority is your family. Instead of spending your time and energy finding a date, focus that energy on creating a stable, self-sufficient home for your children. If you don’t have a job, get one. If you have a job but still cannot make ends meet, get a second job or find a higher paying one, and make sure you’re getting the proper amount of child support from your ex. Then, move into your own place. If you still need help with your children, your parents can still help you out on occasion. Or maybe your ex can take them more often or you can set up another form of childcare.
Once you have yourself and your family taken care of, then look for someone who would be a good, supportive, reliable force — not just for you, but for your children. I don’t know exactly what you mean by “SuicideGirl type,” but instead of focusing on how many tattoos or piercings a potential mate has or if she has a pink Mohawk or wears clothes she made from safety pins and bottle caps, try looking a little deeper. Volunteer work is a great way to find nurturing, positive people who share a common interest with you.
I don’t know many 20-something punk rock chicks who have the desire nor the life experience to date a guy twice their age with three kids, and if all you’re looking for is a good time, wait until both you and your children have left your respective nests and head to The Punk Show.
Yours in Agony,
Noir
Got Problems? Awesome! Let SuicideGirls crack team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com
