Nov 2012 07

by ChrisSick

It’s 11:30PM EST.

The bar I’ve decamped in to watch election coverage has decided to turn off the television, now that CNN has declared for Obama. A very large, very drunk man is singing Queen’s “We Are The Champions” quite badly. Every one is cheering madly.

Fox News’ homepage has this headline:

You can almost hear the sobbing behind it. Early reports say Dick Morris has hanged himself in the Fox News studio. Or maybe I just fantasized that. Romney Central is angrily tweeting that every one should just chill the fuck out because they’re disputing Ohio.

And reality.

Running through it, it was a very good night to be on this side of history. Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin lost the Missouri Senate race to Claire McCaskill. Elizabeth Warren defeated Scott Brown in Massachusetts. Tammy Baldwin will represent Wisconsin in the Senate and become the first openly gay Senator in history. Tim Kaine won over George “Macaca” Allen. Linda McMahon outspent Democrat Chris Murphy 4-to-1 in Connecticut and lost.

Same sex marriage ballots are being decided in Maine, Maryland, and Washington and early reports look good, but I can’t find any more information because someone is singing “Afternoon Delight” really loudly and the one earbud I have in to listen to Fox News is just sounding like torrents of weeping. Seriously, looks like same-sex marriage with be legal in Maine and Maryland and Colorado has legalized marijuana.

There’s a long week ahead, surely some races will be contested or recounted. At the moment only Ohio is being disputed by the Romney campaign, but the Electoral College math looks to be such that even if Ohio were to flip for Romney it would not be enough to overcome Obama’s lead. The New York Times is currently calling Ohio for Romney and still has Obama up 285 over Romney’s 200.

As of midnight, Election Day 2012, it’s clear that Barack Obama will be reelected President, the Democrats will continue to hold the Senate, the Republicans will continue to hold the House, and Colorado will be the new preferred vacation spot over California.

God bless America, I knew you wouldn’t let me down.

This is Tactical Animal, signing off.

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