The Mischievous Vegan: Bringing Home The Bacon0

By Malloreigh

The joke is pretty common – “bacon is vegetarian” or “I’m vegan/Jewish except for bacon.” Bacon – thinly sliced, fatty, fried flesh of pigs – is a force to be reckoned with, and probably, for some vegetarians, a meat that’s very sorely missed. I won’t lie to you and say that the following vegan bacon recipes are exactly like real bacon. However, they may satisfy some bacon-urges, and will complete your brunch plate.

Shitake Bacon

• Shiitake mushrooms, sliced – use fresh, or hydrate dried shiitake mushrooms for 2 – 6 hours in water, then rinse.
• Oil – enough to coat the sliced mushrooms. The more you use, the more delicious and greasy your bacon will be.
• Salt, lots, and pepper, a bit.
• A shake of garlic powder or garlic salt.
• 1 – 2 drops of liquid smoke (optional).

Preheat oven to 350. Toss sliced mushrooms in oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and liquid smoke. Lay them out in a single layer on a cookie sheet.

Bake mushrooms until desired texture is achieved – I like them crispy. This usually takes about twenty to thirty minutes, though I have a hot oven. Check them every ten minutes, and flip them when necessary.

If the shiitake bacon is cooked to the point of crispiness, even people who don’t like mushrooms will probably like it.

Tempeh Bacon

• 1/2 package tempeh, crumbled or cut into strips.
• 1/4 cup soy sauce or tamari.
• 1 tbsp olive oil.
• 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar.
• 1 tbsp tomato paste.
• 1 clove garlic, pressed or minced.
• Salt, lots, and pepper.
• 1 – 2 drops liquid smoke (optional).

Mix all ingredients except for tempeh in a shallow dish. Marinate the tempeh in this mixture for as long as possible; overnight is good, but I usually marinate it for the twenty minutes it takes me to prepare the rest of my brunch. Fry until crispy.