by A.J. Focht

Last night President Obama gave the annual State of the Union address. For the first time, he gave his address to the new GOP majority congress. Democrats and Republicans decided to play nice and sit together during the State of the Union for the first time in 100 years.

Blue and red ties checkered the congressional audience attached to tentatively smiling politicians. The seating arrangement might have suggested that the congress was really ready to set aside their differences, but just watch the applause throughout the speech and the nations political divide is clearer than ever. With the exception of the moment of acknowledgment for Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords, not once did the entire house clap in unison during the speech.

[..]

by Matt Dunbar

For many men, one of the most confusing facets of the transition from college to the workplace occurs not in the proverbial boardroom or conference room, but in the restroom. Navigating the many pitfalls of office social conventions is difficult enough without the constant fear and uncertainty that accompanies every trip to the office bathroom, not to mention the gnawing trepidation that follows the morning Grande Drip from Peet’s or the afternoon guacamole and chitlins pick-me-up.

Although utilized just as frequently, the workplace restroom offers the average male none of the treasured comforts of the apartment bathroom – most obviously, complete and total privacy. There is never any fear when using the toilet at home that your actions are being overheard by a gossipy coworker or disapproving (or, more disturbingly, approving) boss. That soggy stack of New Yorkers and the vintage 2003 Rose McGowan-adorned Maxim on top of the toilet shelf is yours and yours alone, free from the judgment and/or unauthorized use of Gary in accounting.

This loss of privacy would be fine if the workplace restroom was truly a public restroom, in the Dodger Stadium pee trough sense of the word. But it’s not. The workplace restroom lacks the reassuring anonymity and freedom of a public restroom, where at least in male-dom one is secure in the thought that you could do anything up to and including murder within the confines of the stall and no one is going to care. Those who have ever visited a beach or sporting event may rightly point out that a public bathroom’s liberating anonymity comes at a steep cost – typically in the hygiene department. But given the choice between an aspiring Jackson Pollack wielding his asshole like a paintbrush above the hand dryer, or making eye contact with my company’s CFO while pissing in neighboring urinals, I’ll take the Ed Harris butt art. Every time.

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by Damon Martin

“I burned the candle at both ends and it gave a lovely light”
– Christopher Hitchens

It was a chilly November night when former British Prime Minister Tony Blair took to the stage of Toronto’s Roy Thompson Hall to participate in his first public debate since leaving office. His opponent that night was Vanity Fair contributor and award-winning writer Christopher Hitchens, who originally hails from Blair’s home island as well.

Stepping onto the stage looking somewhat more frail than usual, Hitchens sat down opposite Blair, ready to face him in a battle of words focused on the simple question of whether or not religion was a force of good in the world.

[..]

by Fred Topel

“How many sequels are better than the original?”
– McG

McG still has some childhood issues to work out. The director is a successful Hollywood mogul with several TV series currently on-air and a diverse resume of films. Yet he still gets sensitive when people make fun of his name.

[..]

Porphyria Suicide in SPF 5000

• INTO: Academics, affection, art, body modification, bondage, branding, bright shiny things, flashy things, neon furry things, caffeine, camping, clubs, college, collars, comics, digital media, dorks, education, family, fidelity, fire water, fitness, friends, gaming, good music, goggles, hard beats, harder beatings ;p, idealism, industrial, judo, love, martial arts, octopus, para psychology, pedo bear, philosophy, Photoshop, pseudo science, reading, scars, being a submissive, squids, tentacles.
• NOT INTO: People who cant appreciate life. “Don’t take life so seriously, its not like your getting out alive.”
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Creating things, indulging in my multiple escapisms, good grades, genuine conversations with genuine people, being alone, being around people.
• MAKES ME SAD: That kittens become cats, cutting off my dreads on a evil regretted dare, people who are too jaded to appreciate life around them, not being jail bait, being alone, being around people.
• HOBBIES: Modeling, art, comics, gaming, reading, martial arts, drinking.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Only my laptop and my eyebrow pencil.
• VICES: Shy in person (loud on the internet), socially inept hermit.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: In an art class, sloshed, loitering, dancing (preferably at a club, but really, a parking lot will do just fine), being a big ol’ hermit.

Get to know Porphyria better over at SuicideGirls.com!