by SG’s Team Agony feat. Smythe, Leandra, and Atlea

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: What’s the best way to strike up a conversation with an SG on the site? I really love SuicideGirls and I’ve made a lot of friends since I joined the site. So how do I talk to them on here without coming off like a random loser/stalker?

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by Matt Dunbar

Valentine’s Day always wins. No matter how many times we protest the holiday as the sinister conspiracy of the Hallmark-Russel Stover-Pajamagrams industrial complex, or cite its offensively apocryphal origins (St Valentine wasn’t really the patron saint of love, but actually a divorced, sexually incompetent pharmaceutical salesman from New Jersey), Valentine’s Day always comes out on top. At the stroke of midnight on February 15th, we will either be desperately relieved to be lying next to the person we love, or dismayed that the search will require still more time, effort, and Smirnoff.

But while pretty much terrible for everybody involved, Valentine’s Day is especially cruel to one particularly wretched subspecies of the romantically forlorn: the long-distance dater. Convinced for God knows what reason that the only person on Earth they are compatible with requires a TSA patdown to reach, they attempt to defy the basic laws of physics, human behavior, and testicular depression. While their single brethren troll bars and parties for some holiday-induced hookup, those in a long-distance relationship celebrate the 14th by blocking out an extra hour on GChat with their significant other before retiring to their cold, empty and depressingly underutilized twin mattresses.

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by Fred Topel

“I would draw naked pictures of my mom.”
– Jasika Nicole

A supporting character could easily slip into the background on a show like Fringe, but Jasika Nicole makes sure that doesn’t happen. She plays Astrid Farnsworth, lab assistant to Walter Bishop (John Noble). She’s there whenever Walter is explaining the crazy science of the week, and she serves as a trusted confidante for the eccentric scientist.

If you haven’t been following Fringe, here’s my best attempt to catch you up for the purposes of this interview. The Fringe team – Walter, Olivia (Anna Torv) and Peter (Joshua Jackson) – discovered an alternate universe. Over There, the other Bishop, dubbed Walternate, wants to destroy our universe. He sent Olivia from his world, Fauxlivia, to get close to our Peter, which she did. Now our Olivia is back to sort out the mess of cross-dimensional travel and Peter’s feelings. There’s also an Astrid Over There, and even some alternate copies of characters who died in our universe.

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Lainey Suicide in Imp of the Perverse

• INTO: Oolong tea, weed, capital punishment, raw sex appeal, Greek mythology, stilettos, MAC, cheese, zebra print, Southern accents, lip gloss, Betsey Johnson, plaid, serial killers, vintage band tees, Chapstick, cheeseburgers, antique books, bird watching, pugs, insects, Mountain Dew.
• NOT INTO: Self righteousness people, extensions, bad teeth, jealousy, invasion of privacy, Hugh Jackman, hypocrisy, seafood, renal failure, Catholics.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: People who are genuine, kush, steak, dreaming, music.
• MAKES ME SAD: Disney movies.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Cuddles, weed, steak, World of Warcraft, music.
• VICES: Reality TV and cheesecake.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Playing World of Warcraft, conning my boyfriend out of all the cuddle time I can get, and currently school and homework.

Get to know Lainey better over at SuicideGirls.com!