by Brad Warner

A few people have responded to my blog by comparing me to this or that teacher and saying those guys are much better because they encourage their followers to help others. One reader advised me to get over myself and, “learn to live for others.” It’s good advice, to be sure. But what exactly does it mean?

One of the complaints often lodged against Zen is that it’s a selfish philosophy and practice. Spiritual teachers of other schools are always talking about how we should give to others, help those in need, lend a hand to our brothers and so on. But when you take a look at Zen literature there’s not a whole lot of that. Oh, Dogen Zenji talks a bit about compassion and sometimes you hear the Metta Sutra, the Buddha’s words on kindness, chanted at Zen temples in America. Although elsewhere in the world this chant is more associated with the Theravada school than with Zen.

Zen, on the other hand, tends to seem self-centered. Rather that hearing a lot about how we should be of service to others, the standard canonical texts of Zen appear to focus on what we need to do to improve our own situation and state of mind. They do sometimes make reference to helping others and saving all beings. But these references are almost always a bit abstract. They say we need to help others, but don’t go very deeply into how that might be done. This focus on the self is ironic considering that Zen is often portrayed as a practice aimed at eradicating the self.

But have you ever glanced up randomly when you’re on an airplane ignoring the flight attendants safety instructions? When they tell you how to use those oxygen masks they say that you should first secure your own mask before helping others. There’s a good reason for this. If the plane is losing oxygen you’re going to be too woozy to be of service to anyone else until you first get your own stuff together. This is the way it is in life as well.

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Aadie and Lexie

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: Got a problem that’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve been married for the past 8 years, and my partner has never been quite a partner in the sense of taking on or handling the usually shared responsibilities: paying bills, cleaning, parenting, etc., etc. I feel as if I’m constantly putting out fires started by her — without the help of a partner. Being the dedicated person I like to be, I always muscled on — I hate quitting.

Anon-o-moose!

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By Andrea Larrabee

“You’re going to get so sick of me,” quipped Olivia Wilde, when a journalist at a recent press conference noted that she was “going to be everywhere in the next couple of weeks.” Though it’s true we’re going to see a lot of Wilde (who took her stage name from a certain Oscar), the likelihood that we’ll tire of the actress – who is as smart as she is attractive – in the immediate future is slim to none.

She first came into her own as Thirteen in House, but her role as Quorra in the 2010 blockbuster Tron: Legacy firmly established her as big screen leading lady material. This summer she has two major films opening back to back: Jon Favreau’s Cowboys & Aliens, which also features Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig, and The Change-Up, which is, by and large, the topic of this Q&A.

Styled after classic body swap movies like Freaky Friday, the set up for The Change-Up sees Dave, the over-stressed and over-married lawyer (Jason Bateman), and his BFF Mitch, the too happy go lucky and very single actor/stoner/whatever (Ryan Reynolds), coveting each other’s lives. Wilde enters the frame as Sabrina, an associate at Dave’s law firm whom the guys mutually covet, however she refused to play her as your run of the mill, caught between two men, one-dimensional love interest.

The daughter of two renowned journalists, it’s perhaps instinctive that Wilde worked closely with the film’s writers, Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (of Hangovers 1 and 2), and director David Dobkin (Friends With Benefits and Wedding Crashers) to ensure that Sabrina jumped off the page as a fully fleshed out, post-modern woman. Though the film is somewhat flawed, it’s these moments that she brought to the table –– such as a tattoo scene in which a gaggle of Sons of Anarchy-types gather between her well-spread thighs –– that are among the film’s most memorable.

Here Wilde talks about why she took on Sabrina, and how she avoided the stereotypes associated with such a roll.

Read our exclusive interview with Olivia Wilde on SuicideGirls.com.

Frolic Suicide in To The Nines

• INTO: Cat naps, Sailor Jerry, lazy days, frolicking in the sunshine, saving wolves, feather accessories, Googling cool fox pictures, my hounds, otters, my DS/Xbox/Playstation/etc.
• NOT INTO: Mustard, tomatoes.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Finishing a good book.
• MAKES ME SAD: Finishing a good book.
• HOBBIES: Procrasturbating, reading too much and living in the real world too little.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Cooking up adventures.

Get to know Frolic better over at SuicideGirls.com!