by SG’s Team Agony feat. Lyxzen Suicide

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I have been friends with this girl for about five years. Around three months ago we both decided to make a go of a relationship since we had both been hiding feelings for each other. The issue is that I’ve been living on the opposite side of the country for a year or so and things are getting rather hard. She never returns my calls, she will only text me, she has been talking to me less and less, and every time I try to set up a visit for me to see her or for her to come see me things never work out. Mostly she just never gets back to me with a yes or no about coming to see me or about me coming to see her. This is really hard for me because I am starting to feel like maybe I am the second guy in her life, and that is just unacceptable to me. I don’t want to lose her if there is nothing sketchy going on, but I also have to know the truth. How do I approach her about finding out what is really going on with us?

A: Holy déjà vu, Batman…Reading this letter was like a look back into my past, only with the male and female pronouns switched!

My then-beau and I were even planning his move to my city, when he began pulling away. I had the same gut feeling that you’ve no doubt been trying to get past, but in the end, he was banging another girl. (Funny side-note, she and I ended up being friends after they called it quits — turns out he didn’t treat his in-town lady lover any better!)

You know that it takes a lot to maintain a long-distance relationship (Ask anyone who’s been in one — they’re never easy!), and whatever her deal is, whether she’s creating distance because of some type of stress in her life, or because she’s just a nasty ho, this girl clearly isn’t into it.

I hate to get all Dr. Phil on you, but you’re better than this. You deserve better than this! Whatever’s going on in her world only she’s going to be able to deal with. Unfortunately, I think there’s a really high probability that your suspicions about her sketchy-ness are completely right, but either way, shit just ain’t cool and you shouldn’t have to put up with this kind of behavior. I mean, we’re all adults, right?

Here’s the kind of long-distance relationship you DO deserve: You deserve someone so eager to see you that they count down the days until they finally do. You deserve someone who’s excited to take your calls, and does so as often as she can. You deserve someone who sends you photos of things that made her think of you, and of things she thinks will make you smile. You deserve someone who plans adventures and dates for the two of you when you can see each other, whether it’s in one of your two cities or another place altogether. Most of all, you deserve someone who respects you enough to be open and honest with you, instead of dodging questions and ignoring texts.

I can tell you with certainty though, that even the most terrible situations always have a way of working out for the best in the end. As difficult as it may be to end things with this girl, you’ll be coming out of it a stronger and more assertive person, and after taking some time for yourself, you’ll eventually be ready for an awesome girl to walk into your life and completely blow your mind.

So how do you approach this she-weasel to find out what her problem is? She’s obviously making communication difficult, so I would say a well-thought-out email is your best bet. I’d say something like this:

Hey [ladygirl’s name],

I’m not sure what’s going on with you on your side of the country, but I’m feeling left out in the cold here.

I’ve tried to figure out ways to make this long-distance thing work until I’m back next year, but it seems useless when you avoid finalizing plans or even picking up your phone. I’m sure your intent isn’t to make me feel shitty in any way, but knowing my girlfriend isn’t as excited about seeing me, or even texting me, as I am about seeing and texting her, well, it really does feel shitty.

I’ll be honest with you: my gut tells me I’m second to some other guy in your life right now. I don’t mean to throw accusations around, but I just can’t push the thought out of my head.

I hope that I’m wrong, because, in the years that I’ve known you, I’ve never thought you to be that type of girl. Either way though, the way you’ve been treating me is just not okay. No one deserves to be in this situation.

So here it is. I’m putting the ball in your court. I’d love to talk to you about this in person, or even over the phone, but it seems so hopeless to keep trying. I suppose time will tell if this ruins the friendship we’ve had. I really hope it doesn’t, but I’m thinking it’s for the best that we end “us” here and promise ourselves that we’ll be better for the next person.

Let me know what you think…
Best,
[your name]

Harsh, maybe, but you gotta let that girl know you won’t put up with her crap any longer! And if you can do it in a mature and respectful way, you’ll come out on the other side having bettered yourself, whatever the outcome of the relationship may be.

I really think you just needed someone to tell you that you’re right, and I really think you are darlin’. Moving on will be difficult, and it’ll probably take a little longer to get closure from the situation since you two were friends for years first, but I can promise you that there’s someone out there that will treat you better and love you so much harder than this girl does.

You’re stronger and more confident than you know, and you got this, sweetness!
Good luck!!

<3 Lyxzen

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Damon Martin

“Atheists have always argued that this world is all that we have, and that our duty is to one another to make the very most and best of it.”
~ Christopher Hitchens

On Thursday, December 15, famed author and journalist Christopher Hitchens passed away after a long battle with cancer. He was 62 years old.

It almost seems insulting to try to put into words what Christopher Hitchens did so well whenever his fingers touched a keyboard or his pen hit paper. From his unrelenting passion whenever writing or discussing religion to his unapologetic nature when dealing with politicians or public figures, Hitchens truly was the conscience of a truth and information seeking society

In an October 2003 article for Slate, Hitchens looked to expose the saintly nature of Mother Teresa, yet had no issue with calling her a fraud and a fanatic. Also a staunch supporter of the invasion of Iraq, Hitchens time and time again stood up for his belief that the war was a just move against what he called “Islamofacism.”

He was never one to hold his tongue when speaking about any public figure, as shown in his critique of the 2008 Republican presidential candidates. He famously called Senator John McCain “senile” and denounced his running mate Sarah Palin as a “pathological liar” and a “national disgrace.”

In 2007, Hitchens published God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, in which he riled upon religion as a destructive, violent force in the world that he felt was simply supernatural chicanery used to control and manipulate people.

He helped coin the phrase “antitheist” in preference to referring to himself simply as an atheist. By way of explanation he said: “You could be an atheist and wish that the belief was true. You could; I know some people who do. An antitheist, a term I’m trying to get into circulation, is someone who’s very relieved that there’s no evidence for this proposition.”

Even after being diagnosed with cancer in 2010, just after the release of his memoir, Hitch-22, Hitchens continued to tour, debate, write, and speak out on all manner of subjects.

He debated former British Prime Minister Tony Blair in Canada in 2010 about whether religion as a whole was a force for good or evil. It’s pretty clear which side Hitchens came down on, and he time and time again bested his foe with his arguments, even when he struggled to speak or stand for long periods of time.

During his illness, Hitchens spoke candidly about his beliefs or non-beliefs as they were, and said very clearly that he was comfortable knowing that there was no God or afterlife waiting for him when he expired. He also said openly that he wouldn’t take back any of the years of smoking or drinking because they led him to being the writer and person that he was.

Despite the fever of the religious masses that hoped for perhaps the ultimate deathbed conversion, he told CNN correspondent Anderson Cooper in an interview that he simply would not be one of them, no matter how bad things got towards the end.

“If that comes it will be when I’m very ill. When I’m half demented, either by drugs or by pain where I won’t have control over what I say,” Hitchens said. “I mention this in case you ever hear a rumor later on. Because these things happen and the faithful love to spread these rumors. I can’t say the entity by the end wouldn’t be me, wouldn’t do such a pathetic thing, but I can tell you not while I’m lucid, no, I can be quite sure of that.”

Hitchens leaves behind a huge catalog of essays, novels and assorted writings, but the fact that he is no longer around to develop new ideas and push the boundaries of religious debate is a great loss.

He’s not looking down on us from some higher plain, and he’s not in a better place.Christopher Hitchens is simply gone and if he were still alive he’d be the first one to tell everyone that.

The world truly has lost a beautiful, brilliant – and bright – mind.

By Alex Dueben

Ramon Perez may not be familiar to many comics fans, but his collaborators on his new graphic novel are quite well-known. Perez is writing and drawing Tale of Sand, a graphic novel just released by Archaia Press which is based on an unfilmed screenplay by Jim Henson and Jerry Juhl.

An experimental project that Henson began working on in the late sixties, Perez has transformed the script into a beautifully illustrated graphic novel. The book defies easy summary, something we discussed in the interview, because it’s a story that’s much open to interpretation. It’s strikingly different from the work that most Henson fans know and should hopefully help to start a new conversation about the kind of talent that Henson was.

The book also marks the arrival of Perez as a top tier comics talent. An artist of uncommon skills as a designer and illustrator, he also possesses an adept sense of color and layout. It says a lot about the Henson Company that they let an artist have such free reign in adapting the script, and Perez rose to the task, crafting one of the best comics of the year.

We reached Perez by phone at his home in Toronto.

Read our exclusive interview with Ramon Perez on SuicideGirls.com.

Kyoko Suicide in Icelandic Blue

• INTO: Stretching, sensuality, tattoos, piercings, singing, nail polish, playing bass and attempting to play the guitar and drums! HAH! Dressing up, Japanese stuff, pizza.
• NOT INTO: Doing dishes, ‘80s music.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Sunshine, old friends, my family, happy tunes, dancing and letting my self loose, cuddling with my cats, getting closer to my goals and dreams, big or small.
• MAKES ME SAD: Long dark winters, working too much,
• HOBBIES: Pole dancing!
• VICES: Staying up too late, junk food, too much internet time, doing things last minute – usually because I spent to much time doing useless stuff on the internet.

Get to know Kyoko better over at SuicideGirls.com!