by SG’s Team Agony feat. Salome

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: About two years ago my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. Looking back, I realize that it wasn’t really a sudden breakup but a long-drawn out one (the last time I was at her apartment, about a month before she ended it, the sex was un-enthusiastic and she didn’t really initiate any cuddling). For about 3 months after the breakup I was in a pretty dark place, made worse by the fact that she didn’t want anything to do with me – odd because it wasn’t a bad breakup, just tough.

Thanks.

A: I am really sorry to hear about your breakup. It sounds like she was an incredibly important person to you and the breakup affected you really badly. That kind of heartbreak is terrible for anyone to go through, and you have my sympathy for that.

However, I think that the solution to your problem does not involve contacting her. In fact, not only do I think you should eschew contacting her, but I think you should proceed with your life as if she has fallen off the planet forever and ever. Much like she did after you broke up, actually, and in a minute I’ll get to why that was a very good thing.

It sounds to me like a part of you has never given up hope that you’ll get back together. Maybe you don’t even realize this is what you ache for, and that’s why she stalks your dreams. You may think you want to get in touch with her to get some closure, or so that you can be “friends,” but it really seems like you just long to hear from her again, period. Honestly, why would she care what you’ve been up to since the breakup? What purpose would telling her this serve?

It’s been two years, and you haven’t done anything more than hug another girl! You can’t live in this purgatory anymore. You HAVE to let go of her. You need to tell yourself that you will never see her again, never hear from her again, and that you must reconstruct your life wholly and completely without her in it. And then you need to do exactly that. Contacting her would simply reopen the wounds that have never fully closed, and dreaming of what you would say to her when you see her again is what’s keeping them open. Let her go. Delete her from Facebook and Twitter, move all your pictures of her to an external hard drive then bury it in the back of a closet. She moved to Mars and there’s no wi-fi there.

You never made a clean break from her and this is why you have been unable to move on. This is why she “wanted nothing to do with you” after you broke up. She needed space to figure out how to live her life as an independent and healthy person, and she couldn’t do that with you, or reminders of you, or daily texts from you around to prevent that, especially if you still wanted her back. It wasn’t “odd” – it was exactly the right thing to do.

I’m not saying you can’t ever be friends in the future. Maybe you can. But in order for that to happen you have to become a strong, healthy, whole person in your own right again, and that includes not clinging to the hope that you might somehow work her back into your life. You need to do this for yourself and for your future relationships. Two years is a long time and it will probably be hard to undo these destructive ways of thinking on your own. I strongly recommended finding a therapist who can help you imagine a fulfilling life without your ex.

I understand how scary it can be to imagine life without someone you loved so much. My wife left five months ago and some days it feels like my heart will never be whole again. But it will, and yours will too. You just have to let it.

Good luck.

Salome

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Ryker Suicide

Yesterday I made my momma’s recipe for Chicken and Dumplings. I’ve changed it a little bit over the years, but its one of my favorite comfort foods. Especially on a cold day in the winter when I can’t stand the thought of going outside 🙂 Enjoy! – Ryker Suicide

Ingredients:

• 1 lb chicken breast
• 1 lb chicken thighs (skins removed)
• 1 carton of chicken stock (home made is even better)
• Fresh Parsley
• Fresh Thyme
• 2 1/4 cups of Bisquick
• 2/3 cup of milk
• Salt & pepper
• 1 1/2 TBS Poultry Seasoning
• Flour (for dredging)
• 2-3 cups of water
• 1/2 TBS Garlic powder
• 1 bag baby carrots (chopped)
• 1 bunch of celery (chopped)
• 2-3 small onions (2 onions chopped, 1 grated for dumplings)
• Olive oil

Directions:

Heat large pot with olive oil over medium-high heat. Pat chicken dry and make sure skins are removed from breasts. Dredge in flour, poultry seasoning, about 1/8 cup of chopped fresh parsley and thyme, garlic, salt and pepper. Brown chicken in pan, After chicken is browned, add vegetables and 1 cup of water, cover pot immediately and turn heat down to medium low. Let chicken/veggies cook for about 15 minutes.

Add another cup or two of water until chicken is JUST covered. Allow to cook about 20 minutes, flip chicken/stir veggies. Add chicken stock and 1/2 cup of chopped parsley, and 3-4 sprigs of chopped thyme. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cover pot again and allow chicken/vegetables to cook another 20 minutes or so until chicken is fork tender. You may have to turn the heat up to medium after adding stock. While you are allowing chicken to cook last 20 minutes, start on your dumplings.

In a mixing bowl, mix milk and Bisquick. Add grated onion, salt, pepper, and fresh parsley. Mix well. Remove cooked chicken from pot and cool. In near boiling broth, add dropfuls of dumplings to pot. When they float to the top they are ready. For a thinner broth, go easy on dumplings as they will thicken up the broth. Alternatively, you can cook them separately if you like a lot of dumplings. (I prefer a thicker broth for this dish.) If you are not familiar with making dumplings, I suggest testing one or two first to make sure they are at your preferred consistency. For thicker dumplings, add more Bisquick, for lighter, add more milk (not much!). Dumplings are always an experiment. You can also add potatoes to your dumplings as well. After dumplings are in your broth, turn heat down to low. When chicken is finished cooling, pull it off of bone and into bite sized pieces. I even shred some of it, but this is all to preference. Add to soup, and enjoy!

[..]

By Daniel Robert Epstein

Big surprise! Underworld: Evolution is a good film. This is a rare case of a sequel being much better than the original. This second film takes off nearly exactly at the end of the first. Now that the death dealing vampiric Selene [Kate Beckinsale] and the hybrid werewolf/vampire Michael [Scott Speedman] have defeated the evil leader of the vampires, they must stop the founder of the vampire’s bloodline from releasing his twin brother, the first werewolf, from his prison.

I got a chance to talk with Kate Beckinsale in New York.

Read our exclusive interview with Kate Beckinsale on SuicideGirls.com.

Chad Suicide in Early Evenings

• INTO: Making art.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Happy people.
• MAKES ME SAD: Upset people and people leaving.
• HOBBIES: Art.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My family, my friends, my phone, my laptop, food.
• VICES: Tequila, pizza, buying new shoes!
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Chilling out with some cool peoples.

Get to know Chad better over at SuicideGirls.com!