by Laurelin

There are lies that we tell ourselves to keep our minds from wrapping around the truth. In our heart of hearts I genuinely feel like we always know what is right and what is wrong. When we make a tough decision and someone is hurt, a lot of the time the pain is manageable because you know it was the right thing to do. Whatever pain you or the other person is going through, it’s okay because you made the right choice. Other choices we make because they are easy or because they are fun. Some choices that we make will be wrong.

When it comes to the people you spend your time with you would think the choice would be easy, and always right. That’s not always the case. Lies come easier than one would think and sometimes the wrong people get a little too close. I know I can’t be with anybody right now because my mind is elsewhere. I made that choice. I push away the people who want to get close to me, but I still want them by my side every day. They are the shoulders I want to cry on. They are the ones I want to call when something amazing happens. They are the ones who I will miss once they open their eyes and realize I am a broken mess and they deserve better.

What I gravitate towards is something to fill the right now; the men who are on the road year round who stop and see me when they’re in the area and who make me feel so special that I am happy while they’re gone. I find that I like men who appear to have other lives, and I tell myself that they’re just busy (like me). But really, they have girlfriends or wives. I find that I don’t care, and I hate myself for it. Eventually they all disappear and I comfort myself by telling myself that next time I’ll choose the good guy, though I never do.

I like to think I find the good in people. That guy on the road with the girlfriend, he does amazing things for people, he changes people’s lives and he changed mine. I don’t think I could ever believe that he is a bad person, but he’s still a liar, a cheater, a mean boy. The alcoholic, the drug addict, the steroid user, the married guys, they are all broken and I suppose part of me thought I could fix them. Part of me thinks I don’t deserve any better and the other part of me literally can’t stand the thought of someone getting so close. I lie and tell myself I love the broken ones because they know just when to leave; just before it gets real.

[..]

by Blogbot

This Thursday, August 15th on SuicideGirls Radio we invite you to join us for a rather curious Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. Hosts Nicole Powers, Juturna and Moon Suicide will be joined in-studio by world-renowned artist Gail Potocki, and art historian, author and bon vivant Thomas Negovan of the Century Guild.

Potocki’s upcoming Century Guild show, entitled Fragmented Alice, offers a decidedly modern perspective on Alice in Wonderland, and uses the archetypes of Lewis Carroll’s characters to explore the way that we experience the fluid nature of time and its passing

In anticipation of the event, we’ve persuaded the Queen of Hearts to bake some tarts, and will be serving fortified tea in exceedingly clean cups. So don your top hats, Alice bands, and best tea party attire, and don’t be late for this very important date!

You can listen – and watch – the world’s leading BYOB radio show live on Thursday nights from 6 til 8 PM at our new state-of-the-art all digital home: TradioV.com/LA.

You’ll also be able to listen to our podcasts via Stitcher – download the app now!

If you have questions for the SG Radio crew or our guests, you can call in during the live broadcast at: 1-855-TRV-inLA (1-855-878-4652)

For updates on all things SG Radio-related, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Fragmented Alice opens on August 17th at 7 PM at the Century Guild in Culver City, and runs through the closing night event on September 21, 2013. For more information call 1-800-610-CENTURY or visit centuryguild.net.

**UPDATE**

ICYMI: Last night’s Mad Hatter’s Tea Party with artist Gail Potocki, bon vivant Thomas Negovan of Century Guild, and hosts Juturna Suicide and Nicole Powers.

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