by Bradley Suicide
[Above: Bradley Suicide in Digital Love]
Lets talk a little bit about social media and relationships. It’s no secret that social media has been around for a minute now and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. With that being said, I have found through my past relationships and present dating experiences that it can make things very hard to manage when it comes to the wonderful world of romance.
I recently spoke with a close friend of mine who is a divorce and family law attorney. She told me that 9 out of 10 of her divorce cases mention Facebook in their paperwork. Does that tell us something? I mean, on one hand, if someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat –– right? On the other, social media sites like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook make cheating so much more attainable. Basically, you put a recovered heroin addict around heroin for long enough something is probably gonna give I guess?
There is a whole other side of this as well. Before social media, when you had a problem as a couple, you were forced to work it out. In your own way and your own time, but the two of you had to eventually sit down and hash out an argument. Now I find it incredibly dangerous that instead of actually dealing with a problem head on as a couple, you can go online, login, and lull yourself into a false sense of security based on “likes” from nameless, faceless people that you don’t know. Shouldn’t our partner be the person giving us that affirmation rather than strangers?
When it comes to basic get-to-know-you dating there are a few ups and downs with social media as well. I guess it is kind of cool to be able to find out interesting things about the person you have started seeing, like what books they enjoy, their taste in music, etc… But, at the same time, isn’t that one of the best parts of the start of a new relationship? Finding out those fun little facts about the other person. Figuring out your differences and similarities, then determining your compatibility as it comes without preconceived notions.
On top of that I have run into the issue of dudes that I have started to see casually social media “stalking” me. Now I know to draw a hard line with a guy when this happens due to recent experiences. A perfect example, I put up a picture on my Instagram of me and my brother. Not ten minutes later I get a text asking me twenty questions about where I was, who I was with, and who the dude on my IG was. Stalk much? Trust me, I enjoyed this dude’s company and things were going really well, but this behavior continued, spilling onto Twitter as well. I couldn’t win. We weren’t even exclusive at this point. All I could hear in my head was “Hi! I’m a red flag!”.
I strive to keep my head firmly planted on my shoulders and am thankful everyday for the doors that my social media accounts and my amazing followers have opened for me. But, at the end of the day, I choose to now keep my relationships and my social media completely separate. In the end, these networking sites are here to stay. They have their perks and I appreciate all of the networking they have allowed me to do professionally, as well as all of the friends and family that they allow me to easily keep in contact with back home. However, I do have to say, there is nothing sexier to me these days than when a man says that he doesn’t have a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. It’s downright panty dropping. The thing that I try my hardest to keep in mind is to not allow my social media accounts to cause me to lose sight of the people that are real in my life, as I catch myself chasing the ones who only appear to be.
Social media really does make me a reluctant dater…
Until next time,
XOXO
Bradley
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