Mar 2012 05

by Jen Friel

Hi friends,

We haven’t met yet, but I’d like to introduce myself…I’m @JenFriel. I am a lifecaster and corporate sponsored minimalist that went out on over 103 dates in 9 months while I was couch surfing for a year building my website ( and bartering social media to live. I’m an accidental expert in dating, and am here to share with you some tips and tricks that I learned during the course of my ongoing OKCupid project.

What is OKCupid, you may ask? Well, it’s only the nerdiest of nerdy dating websites! They use math to get you dates, and created an algorithm for compatibility that I can attest is pretty darn accurate!

Algorithms aside though, the one thing that I have noticed is that guys don’t understand how to actually set up a profile. I mean, they get the very basics – but they don’t understand what a female is looking for in a profile, or WHY some profiles work over others. This is where I would like to help. Here, pull up a chair…

1. Choose your username wisely.

I can’t begin to tell you how important choosing a username is – it’s one of the FIRST things a chick will notice.

A good username will consist of something that reflects your personality, and shows off who you are (while still remaining anonymous if that’s your cup of tea). Example: JohnLuvsGiants

A username such as that might tell me that one, your name is John, and two that you either love the football team The Giants, or you have a Paul Bunyan fetish. Either is kosher for Passover, but does tell me a bit about who you are.

A less than desirable username is anything that includes and of the following words: crazy, horny, mofo, bad, 69, fyckr, humpyoulikedogandyoulllikeit.

Chicks notice this, man – be true to you, and keep it real.

2. Answer the questions

I know that that sounds weird and straight forward since that is what the site is about – but I can’t begin to tell you how many guys have said to me, “I just wanted to wait for the date before getting to know the person.” The problem with that statement is the fact that you are NEVER going to get to know the girl, because she won’t reply back to your message because you had a 0% compatibility because you didn’t answer any friggen questions! Yes, dating has an ebb and flow, and yes, first dates are about discovery – however, to get that first date you have to get her attention. How are you going to do that? Be the guy that answers questions and show her how compatible you are by commenting on one single detail from her profile, and asking her to elaborate on it in the email.

3. Select a default that is a clear shot of a face with you genuinely smiling, and then have the rest of the pictures in your profile tell the story of your life.

I can’t begin to tell you how many guys mess this part up. They put a picture of themselves at a bbq with a sunglasses and hat on. I even had one friend have himself in a field with flags as his default picture. When I inquired as to why he selected that for his default his response was, chicks love flags!


Dude, chicks don’t like flags. A chick wants to see your FACE!!! A clear shot, with a genuine “this is me actually being happy and not forced” smile. Let the female judge your attractiveness; it is your job in the default to be as neutral as possible.

Then, in all of the additional photos uploaded to the album (up to 10), you tell the story of your life. Like hiking? Show off some pics of you on various trails. Have you gone skydiving? Or like something equally cool and rad? Show it off!!! Post those pics, be you – have fun with it, tell the female your story.

4. Keep your profile brief and to the point.

I heart twitter. The microblogging site has conditioned me to get CRAZY good at finding ways to say things in as short of characters as possible. Do this with your profile!! Spit it out, get it out, but keep it brief. No one wants to be reading a novel when it comes to a dating profile. Keep things light and funny, while showcasing your personality. (Unless of course you are a horribly boring human being that enjoys watching paint dry and counting the holes in your ceiling; in that case, maybe online dating isn’t for you.)

Best of luck out there guys, and if you have any questions please hit me up on twitter: @JenFriel. I’d love to hear from you! xoxo


Like what you’ve read? You can also join Jen and her friends in the Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover live stage show called the Dirty Truth About Nerdy Girls on March 23 at 9:30 PM at The Little Modern Theater in Hollywood, CA. For more info visit


  1. […] White and Femme columnist and resident sensuality expert), will be joined in-studio by lifecaster, SG contributor, and computer dating expert Jenn Friel and her co-hort Jenn Hoffman, a writer, blogger, entertainer […]

  2. […] White and Femme columnist and resident sensuality expert), will be joined in-studio by lifecaster, SG contributor, and computer dating expert Jenn Friel and her co-hort Jenn Hoffman, a writer, blogger, entertainer […]