Blackboards In Porn is a highly amusing site that claims to celebrate “pornographers who go the extra mile when set dressing classroom porn and actually write something on the blackboard.”

Its anonymous but obviously British editor and webmaster, who we’re reliably informed has a BEng in Electronic Engineering and an MA in Screenwriting, focuses his or her considerable analytical and creative skills on the equations, diagrams, and notations drawn on said boards, checking for accuracy and scouring for greater meaning.

Though not a porn site ourselves (we like to think we’re naughty but not nasty, and pinup rather than pornography), we thought it’d be fun to set BiP some homework. Thus we challenged ’em to set their logical prowess loose on the chalk boards of SuicideGirls. Here’s what BiP came up with while checking out Nina Suicide’s Back To School photo essay…

WORK HARD AND DO YOUR BEST

Lessons in Life – universal
Computer Science – A-level/undergraduate level

There can be few better exhortations to students than this. Working hard and doing one’s best will always produce the finest possible results, either in the classroom or on the playing field. After any exam or sporting challenge there is no failure if one can say afterwards “I did my best.” (England footballers please take note.)

A game of Noughts and Crosses is underway on the blackboard. If this has been done by a student then it should have been rubbed off immediately (see post #9 re Wilson and Kelling’s broken windows theory). But if this is actually part of the lesson then a gold star should be awarded as Noughts and Crosses is a great introduction to many mathematical and computer science concepts from combinations and symmetry to artificial intelligence.

A first question to pose to the class would be how many games of Noughts and Crosses are possible (the game tree size)? A naive answer would be 9! = 362,880 (assuming X always goes first). However, many games will be over before all the squares are filled, and many more are simply rotations and reflections of others (in effect there are not nine, but only three starting places: corner, centre and edge). Taking these into account gives an answer of 26,830.

Devising an algorithm to produce perfect play is also a favorite challenge, exploring ideas such as backwards reasoning and recursion. These can then be applied to other, more complex games such as Connect 4 and draughts, through to unsolved games such as Reversi, chess and Go (with its game tree complexity of 10360).

However, if this is an attempt to teach the strategy of perfect play then one must hope that the teacher has picked a very poorly played game to illustrate what not to do. Assuming that X’s first move was in the corner (always the best start: of the then 73 possible games, assuming perfect play on X’s part, 71 result in victory and two in a draw), then O has immediately blundered by playing the far edge instead of the centre (where his/her only hope of a draw can come from), resulting in what should be certain victory for X. X could then force a win by playing the centre, but has him/herself blundered by playing middle bottom. O can now snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat by playing centre or top right, leaving X to harp on about how the Wags should have been allowed to stay in the team hotel.

Despites its pedagogical pedigree, Noughts and Crosses quickly becomes futile when both players can easily force a draw. This was well-illustrated in WarGames, when the military supercomputer, equating the game to global thermonuclear war, evaluated all possible outcomes and remarked, “Strange game. The only winning move is not to play.” Failing that, just work hard and do your best.

8/10 An inspired choice of teaching material.

Visit blackboardsinporn.blogspot.com/ for more case studies on mathematics as featured in erotica.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

Cheryl Hines has all the best qualities for a sexy woman, she is beautiful and most importantly, FUNNY! She is best known as Larry David’s wife Cheryl on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Now she is teaming up with another famous funnyman, Robin Williams, in the surprisingly funny RV.

Read our exclusive interview with Cheryl Hines on SuicideGirls.com.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

Along with such comedy geniuses as Robert Smigel and Dino Stamatopoulos, Louis CK is a master of sketch comedy. That’s why it will be very interesting when his sitcom, Lucky Louie, premieres on HBO. Not only is CK applying his comedic skills to the sitcom but it will be the first time he is stretching himself as an actor.

Read our exclusive interview with Louis CK on SuicideGirls.com.

by Darrah de jour

The unlikely, but delightful newly wed Gaiman-Palmer duo hit the Wilshire Ebell Theatre in Los Angeles on Halloween night kicking off what will be a five-city West Coast mini-tour, which will stop off in San Francisco (11/4), Vancouver (11/6), Portland (11/8) and Seattle (11/9).

On the heels of performing with Moby and Stephen Merritt, along with an admittedly “uncomfortable” Gaiman on keyboards, on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson earlier that day, the twosome were introduced at the Ebell by rad chick comic Margaret Cho (who likened her life-long affection for rice-paper wrapped white bunny candies to her fondness for uncircumcised penises). Taking the stage in black and white wedding-esque attire Amanda and Neil began a rowdy costume contest. Audience members, hand-selected by Cho, took to the stage and accepted varying levels of applause, which determined the ultimate winner: a gay male couple dressed as twin-rabbits. Creepy masks. The prize? Signed merch and a rather random bottle of balsamic purloined from a Craig Ferguson hospitality basket.

The British scary story writer and Dresden Dolls founder and lead-singer met while collaborating on Palmer’s macabre art/photo book Who Killed Amanda Palmer– a collection of photographs of a dead-Palmer – taken by Palmer, over a period of 14 years. Gaiman explains how this undertaking brought them together. Read, also, his latest plight: to help artists create wills for their literary estates.

A charmingly disorganized night filled with on-stage, off-mic banter, impromptu song and reading plans, and even a cue-card Q&A of previously scribbled audience questions proved utterly lavish in this overly-synchronized Lady Gaga lights/Chris Brown firework world of perfectly framed modernity. Not to mention, the love between these two is palpable. (They pecked between songs, and when Gaiman forgot his lyric sheet, Palmer hurriedly scribbled lines on a ripped piece of paper with Sharpie, handed it to him and ran back to her piano. A gesture which prompted Gaiman to proclaim aloud: “I love her.”)

NYC-native Palmer sang a cover of “Science Fiction/Double Feature” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show along with originals “Runs in the Family,” “Judy Blume,” and latest Twitter-fan-aided ode to 4-stringed, anti-Fascist Machine-killing machine, her I.O.C., “Ukulele Anthem.” The 35-year old outspoken bisexual even sang “Satellite of Love” for the nearing birthday-boy (Neil turns 50 on November 10th), and the couple did a tongue-in-cheek duet of the standard “Makin’ Whoopee.” Neil read a few poems and a Halloween story he wrote for The New York Times, as well as a silly torch song he’d penned lyrics for (“I Google You“) about heartbreak and computers replacing the ‘cigarettes and bar-fly’ mentality that pervaded society for so long. Charming Australian duo The Jane Austen Argument opened.

The tour is being recorded thanks to fan funding from a Kickstarter campaign, which surpassed its $20,000 goal by $113,000+. In fact, much of the connection Palmer has with her fans stems from her DIY, grass-roots use of technology: blogging, free music sites, Twitter. There, she communicates and even beckons help from them (like during her “ReBellyon” – a record company dispute with Roadrunner Records which was sparked when they edited a belly shot out of a music video because they felt she looked “fat”).

A standing ovation for the two geek and goth faves, was followed by a chaotic merch signing session. Trying to organize the ridiculously large throng that was packed into the relatively small foyer, Palmer stood on a table, barefoot, as she attempted to figure out how the hell she and her husband were going to sign stuff for the mass of fans before the theatre’s 11.30 PM curfew.

Post-feminist sex and sensuality expert Darrah de jour is a freelance journalist who lives in LA with her dog Oscar Wilde. Her writing has appeared in Marie Claire, Esquire and W. In her Red, White and Femme: Strapped With A Brain – And A Vagina columns for SuicideGirls, Darrah will be taking a fresh look at females in America. Visit her blog at Darrahdejour.com/srblog and find her on Facebook.

[..]

by Daniel Robert Epstein

Lewis Black is best known for his politically charged rants called Back in Black that are featured on The Daily Show. But he’s been a working standup comedian for 20 years. He’s just released his new comedy album, The Carnegie Hall Performance.

Read our exclusive interview with Lewis Black on SuicideGirls.com.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

Lily Tomlin is a true comedy goddess. She’’s been entertaining people with her wonderful cast of characters since Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. In fact one of my favorite movies of hers, 9 to 5, was just released in special edition DVD. But her latest movie is special because not only does she play Meryl Streep’’s sister in a singing duo but it also reteams her for a fourth time with director Robert Altman. A Prairie Home Companion is a look at a fictionalized version of Garrison Keillor’s long running public radio program. It is reimagined as a song heavy variety show and the movie highlights its last night before it is shut down.

Read our exclusive interview with Lily Tomlin on SuicideGirls.com.

By Nicole Powers

The fiercely individual Madonna once observed that “life is a mystery” and “everyone must stand alone.” But for some that is tragically not possible. Conjoined twins Evelyn and Evelyn Neville (a.k.a. Evelyn Evelyn) are two such people; their uninvited union – and the uniqueness of their in many ways non-individual state – being both a blessing and a curse.

To say Evelyn Evelyn have had a tough upbringing would be a gross understatement. The pair lost their mother 12 minutes after their traumatic birth, and their early life took a nosedive from there. The girls’ father fell victim to an unlikely chainsaw accident shortly after their mother’s untimely demise, and thus the orphaned twins were left with only each other to rely on as they made their way in this all too cruel world.

Extended stints trapped in a chicken coup and held hostage by a child pornography ring meant the girls were robbed of anything approaching a normal childhood –– if that was ever a possibility given their Siamese status. However, after joining a circus and meeting some similarly conjoined pachyderms, Evelyn Evelyn got an inkling that their bond –– far from being a burden –– was something truly beautiful and special.

Having experienced relentless teasing and taunts for much of their life, the Neville sisters’ world was changed radically by the advent of social media. While in a dead end job filling out sweepstakes applications on behalf of an unappreciative motel proprietor, the duo practiced the songs they once performed with the circus and set up a profile on MySpace to showcase them. Unburdened by physical limitations and prejudices online, their music caught the attention of many, including singer, songwriter, and all round entertainer extraordinaire Amanda Palmer.

Inspired by their songs and by their struggle, Amanda recruited renowned folk musician Jason Webley to help with the project. Produced by Palmer and Webley, Evelyn Evelyn released their debut EP, “Elephant Elephant,” in 2007. Their heartfelt rendition of Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” –– which served as the B-side of the vinyl edition –– brought them initial success and critical acclaim. A self-titled album followed in 2010, as did numerous sold out live dates.

Having recently returned from a triumphant stint at the prestigious Edinburgh Festival –– and with respect having firmly replaced ridicule –– Evelyn Evelyn embark on the next chapter in their lives with the release of a graphic novel based on their story. Written by Palmer and Webley, and illustrated by Cynthia von Buhler, it’s naturally being released in two parts (via Dark Horse Comics Inc.). Having not only redefined beauty, but what it means to be an individual, SuicideGirls caught up with Palmer to talk about Evelyn Evelyn.

For this interview SG’s editor, Nicole Powers, recruited her own twin siblings, Brenda Day and Samantha May. Though not conjoined, Brenda and Samantha do everything together and feel as if emotionally they are. They are therefore especially excited that Palmer and Webley are unleashing the power of multiples though their production work, and are exploring what it means to be an individual when you’re also one half of a whole. The following is a transcript of their online conversation…

Read our exclusive interview with Amanda Palmer on SuicideGirls.com.