by Laurelin

I always thought that my job in the service industry was a sign of failure. All the people I know from high school and college and well, life, are all married with kids, working these 9-5 salary jobs with benefits and things like pinstripe pantsuits and heels. Not me. I pay for my benefits through the state, I sleep past 11 AM almost every day, I don’t go into work until the sun goes down and I wear jeans, a black shirt and filthy sneakers every day. Bartending is MY full time job, but honestly, sometimes I just feel plain lazy.

However, as the economy failed and I watched every job but my own go down the tubes I felt pleased; my “career” was flourishing and there was no chance that people would ever stop drinking. I started feeling lucky — in the world of liquor, people drink when they’re happy and they drink when they’re sad. No matter what the occasion, people drink. Bartending means serious job security.

However, things change in a heartbeat. A bar is run just like any other company, and when things go sour internally the company is bound to crash and burn. I have been in the unfortunate position to have front row seats to the epic demise of my bar. It’s going down, and I can honestly say that the staff doesn’t even care to fight for it. Pour on the gasoline and take a picture, because garbage burns fast, and it stinks.

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Galda, Rosaleigh, and Koshil

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I’m 17 years old and I’ve been with this girl for about a year and a half on the 27th. The only problem is that she moved to California in July, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I miss her so much and talking on the phone doesn’t fill the hole like it used to. I need advice.

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by Brad Warner

I received two closely related questions via email this week, and I’d like to share my answers. I’ve rewritten these, so they’re not word-for-word the responses I sent.

The first person asked me a general question about how to deal with depression. So I wrote back something like the following:

I am a depression sufferer. I really don’t know how mine scales up next to anyone else’s. My one suicide attempt was half-assed (you can read about it in my book Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate). Although I’m not as suicidal as I used to be, even now I go through troughs of depression and inevitably start thinking of doing myself in. This seems to be a deeply ingrained mental response to depression.

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Charley, Elea and Dorsal

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I don’t know if were are over or not but I’m dating this boy who lives in a town 3 hours from mine. We’ve been together now for one year but it’s long distance relationship. Yesterday a girl sent me this message on Facebook asking who I was and what kind of relationship I had with my boyfriend. I told her all that, and she answered saying that they’ve been together for 3 years and that he is also her boyfriend!! He denies it all, but I know he’s lying. I love him, but I guess I’m better off just forgeting him and trying not to have a long distance thing ever again, because you never know what the other person is doing. I want to forgive and forget but I don’t know what to do anymore. Can you advise me?

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by Laurelin

The promise of a new year is always something that gives me such hope. It’s silly really. It’s a day in your life, the day after yesterday, and the day before tomorrow. It is no different from any other day except for one number after the same year as last year. But for some reason, every new year people make new promises: promises to become better people, thinner, nicer, get a better job, forgive their parents, donate to more charities. People want to feel like they have the power to change the path they are headed down, no matter what path it was; it doesn’t matter because it is a NEW YEAR and we can be anything we want. I am just like everyone else in the sense that I crave a reason to make me try harder to be someone worthwhile, but I also am not disillusioned that this new year can just magically bring about immediate change for the better.

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by Laurelin

The word “zing” is not in my vocabulary. I don’t remember ever having said it, nor have I ever heard it used in everyday conversation. However, I’m pretty sure when used in the context of a message during a particularly nasty text war with the ex, the word “zing” is equivalent to “fuck you.”

Breaking up is never easy. Everyone is quick to weigh in on your breakup once they hear about it. I’ve heard it all: the voicemail breakup, the post it breakup (how very Sex in the City of him), the text message breakup. Then there were the pep talks: the my-relationship-was-longer-than-yours-so-it-was-worse pep talk, the you’re-better-off-without-him pep talk, and, my personal favorite, the why-would-you-be-upset-about-him-he’s-wearing-a-velour-track-suit-in-public pep talk. People just want to help you get though, it’s heartwarming and gut wrenching at the same time.

I lucked out and got dumped while my [ex] boyfriend was blackout drunk and trying to get me to watch Youtube videos of The Muppets. All of a sudden, it wasn’t working out and here I am, wide eyed and trying to figure out what to do now while he falls into a blissful alcoholic coma next to me. I must have dozed off at some point, because I woke up a few hours later to the alarming sounds of someone sleep-peeing in the corner. I mopped up the urine that soaked my Complete Works of Shakespeare and threw away the last two years with the soggy paper towels. For some strange reason I felt like things could only go up from there.

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by SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I’m young, 18 years to be exact, and I was hoping that maybe you girls could give me some advice. Here’s the story…Earlier this year, around the middle of February, I started seeing this girl. We’d talked a few times before, and had gotten to know each other pretty well. She started coming over to where I live and we just hung out, played some games, and just bonded.

As you probably already figured out, we had feelings towards each other even though the relationship only lasted a little over a month. I was devastated. I tried to talk her out of it, but I couldn’t. I broke down and though three months passed, the feelings I had for her never left. I tried talking to her in July, only to find out that she hates me. So I stopped talking to her and attempted to block her out of my mind, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind either. These days, I’ve been thinking about her more and more, but she hates me and is now married. What would you do? Some advice would help, if you’re up to it. Sorry it was long and boring.

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