by SG’s Team Agony feat. Friskey and Tita
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
[Friskey in Dragon Lady]
Q: I wrecked my motorcycle almost 6 years ago, and it has left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. I haven’t had a relationship since. I have always been a bit shy, but now I feel self-conscious about my “situation”. I feel like people look at me as though I am helpless. And its hard to find a girl who would rather ask me for my phone number than ask me if they can hold open a door for me. Most people see a person in a chair and their first thought usually isn’t “Oooh, I want some of that!” I’m pretty likable guy…once you get past the fact that I’m in a chair. How would you suggest that I go about getting women to want to date me? In all honesty, what would it take for you to date a person who was paralyzed?
[..]
by SnakePlissken
Every day I’m surrounded by goddamn vegetables. You see, I’m in charge of quality control at a major West Coast vegetable processing plant. Sort of like my own personal hell really. Why, just yesterday I was overseeing the processing of around forty ton an hour of Oregon’s best field-fresh green beans for eight hours plus. That’s a fuck-ton (an arseload in metric for all you Euro folk) surrounding me every moment of the day; dripping their juices on me from weird white whirling belts, stinking up the place with goodness, and generally just being too goddamn healthy. Surrounding me also, is a sea of tiny immigrant laborers like underpaid Oompa-Loompas with no health plan making this bizzaro Willy Wonka- world factory hum and whistle. They are also heavily involved with the weird white whirling belts, but for the most part none have dripped their juices on me.
By the end of an eight-hour shift I need something shitty after being surrounded by a vegan’s wet dream for such an unbearable amount of time. Not only must it be shitty, but it must be greasy and hopefully processed beyond reproach and recognition. Luckily the strange smelling ultra-cheap grocery store was open at midnight and I found these little beauties tucked in between the frozen cow knuckles and the recently expired Banquet Salisbury Steaks.
I love things that taste like other things. Such as, oh, mayo that tastes like bacon. Or when something purple actually tastes like grape. In this case, these evil little nuggets are obviously Totino’s Pizza Rolls that taste like tacos. As a precaution I opted to consume the Imodium A-D before I even opened the bag.
[..]
By Alex Dueben
“What you think is happening is not actually happening.” – Alan Robert
Alan Robert is best known as a musician and singer/songwriter of the bands Life of Agony and Spoiler NYC, but he was first and foremost a comic guy. A graduate of the School of Visual Arts in New York City where he studied cartooning under Walt Simonson and others, the rock star is now in the midst of his second career as a comics artist and writer. At a time when celebrities will put their names on a comic but let others do all the work, Robert is creating comics that are written, drawn, colored and even lettered by him and include back page material taking readers through his process and workspace and have some fun along the way.
After the success of last year’s miniseries Wire Hangers, IDW is releasing a new miniseries from Robert starting this month. Crawl To Me is a strange dark tale that was created in just a matter of months and shows growth and experimentation over his work published just a year ago. Talking with the budding horror icon is a real inspiration and it’s clear that Robert is having the time of his life.
Read our exclusive interview with Alan Robert on SuicideGirls.com.
Vesta Suicide in Sigh No More
- INTO: Bad fake accents, lingerie, cheap shows, movies, and small towns.
- MAKES ME HAPPY: Hot popcorn, stir-fry, cupcakes, pancakes, and food!
- MAKES ME SAD: Roadkill, clapping in movie theatres, Uggs and Crocs.
- HOBBIES: Playing guitar, painting, photography, cupcake creating, and Maple Leafs hockey.
- 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Days filled with sunshine, ear kisses, lubriderm rubs, romance, and birth control.
- VICES: Popcorn, things that sparkle, and anything I can stick into my face.
- I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: On SG.
Get to know Vesta better over at SuicideGirls.com!
