by Laurelin

Last night, sitting in a barstool while sipping my Sam Adams Summer Ale, I seriously wished that I were anywhere else. My mind wandered: I thought of going on vacation, I wondered what everyone was doing at my bar, if it was busy, I wondered about my bed, and what would be on TV when I got home. I wondered if it was going to rain tomorrow, if I would sleep in or if I would get up and go for a run. I wondered if I would be hungover. Probably not.

It’s another Tuesday, and the most excitement I’ve had all night is tracing the outline of the snakeskin print leather barstool. My two friends sitting next to each other are squawking about their relationships and I am trying not to fall over out of sheer boredom. We’ve been out since 7 PM. It was 1 AM. My brain had officially turned to relationship mush.

“He doesn’t touch me anymore,” one says. “I go home, he ignores me, he wakes up, goes to work, I know he doesn’t love me.” The other shakes her head vigorously in agreement.

“I KNOW,” she says. “Mine doesn’t love me either. I said I love you to him and he didn’t say it back. Laurelin, what do you think?” She says, turning towards me and asking for advice that I know she’ll never take.

“I think I’m going to stab myself in the throat,” I say absentmindedly. The two girls look at me, horrified. I totally didn’t mean to say that out loud. What I meant to say, and what I had been saying all night is this: How can two beautiful, amazing, once independent woman stay in these loveless relationships simply because they don’t want to be alone?

“We live together,” one says. “

We work together,” says the other. I’ve been down both of those roads, and you know what? You do right by you. You make the important decisions and you trust that one day, you will meet someone who is right for you. Some day you will find your best friend, that one guy who wants you to come home and crawl into bed even if it’s late, the one who won’t leave you sobbing in the street after telling you you’re “lucky” he came home because he totally could have banged that chick at the bar.

These poor women; They often look at me with sadness in their eyes because when I ask them to go out a lot of the time they can’t – they’re with their boyfriends. “Aren’t you lonely?” they ask, the question dripping with pity. Yes. The answer is yes, I am so lonely that sometimes it’s all I can do not to just fling myself into bed at the end of each long day, praying to never wake up. I am so lonely sometimes that I call my ex-boyfriend and tell him to come over when I know he’s been drinking, just so I can listen to him snore and remember what it’s like to sleep next to a warm body.

But I am not so lonely that I would ever do what these girls are doing. Love is hard and relationships need to be worked on. But these, these have been dead for a long time and that type of lonely, well that is something I don’t have. My lonely can be solved with the simple concept of hope. I haven’t met someone yet. I will. I always do. With every sunrise and sunset I never know what’s around the corner, but these girls, they do, and it makes me so sad and bored for them that I could just die.

We walk home later, and one of them is crying. “I can’t do this anymore,” she says. I hug her and tell her to do the right thing, whatever that is. I fall asleep alone, and I know she’s drying her eyes before her boyfriend sees that she’s been crying.

I text her the next day, “How’d it go?” and she writes back like nothing ever happened. “Fine,” she says, “I was just being silly. He went golfing. We’re going to the movies later.”

I’d rather go alone.

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by A.J. Focht

Last weekend was San Diego Comic Con, the premier nerd convention of the year. Both major comic companies were present as well as several movie studios, prominent actors, and nerd icons of all kinds. Everyone was eager to show off their newest projects.

New clips for The Dark Knight Rises were previewed at Comic Con. The first was a teaser of Morgan Freeman showing off a new vehicle, The Bat. The second clip establishes the movie takes place eight years after The Dark Knight in a conversation between Officer Blake and Commissioner Gordon. The Dark Knight Rises premiers in theaters July 20.

Batman is one of the most popular heroes in the world with one of the most iconic cars ever. This year at SDCC, each of the classic Batmobiles were on display. The Batmobiles were all lined up and a new documentary about the cars was previewed at the con. The Batmobile is a documentary that features Batmobiles throughout time and the Batmen that drove them.

A few weeks ago, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson was rumored to be in talks for a DC movie. The Rock has now confirmed via Twitter that he is indeed in talks for a Lobo movie. While he is in talks, the Lobo movie might not be planned for a while.

The Man of Steel had a panel at Comic Con, helping shed some light on the rumors surrounding the project. A short clip was shown to the audience and it was met with positive reviews. There’s a new teaser poster on their Facebook page as well.

Iron Man 3 had a major presence at Comic Con. During the Iron Man 3 panel, Kevin Feage, Shane Black, Robert Downey Jr., and Don Cheadle were present to talk about the upcoming movie. They discussed both rumors and the movie story, without giving much of anything away. All of the Iron Man armor from the past movies, as well as the armor from the upcoming movie was on display as well. Men might not be the only ones putting on armor in Iron Man 3 however, the new rumor is Gwyneth Paltrow may be dawning the rescue armor this go around.

Marvel revealed the titles to their upcoming sequels at Comic Con, and it looks like Bucky is coming back since the title of the Captain America sequel is Captain America: Winter Soldier. Bucky was the original Winter Soldier so it seems likely he’s returning as a villain. While Bucky isn’t confirmed beyond the title, Falcon will make an appearance in the film. Anthony Mackie will be playing the part. Winter Soldier is scheduled to release April 14, 2014.

The Thor sequel is entitled, Thor: The Dark World. A few things are known about Thor at the moment. The movie will explore Thor and Jane’s relationship. Loki will not be the main villain in the film, and the current rumor mill points all signs to the Enchantress. With a new director on board, it’s set for theatres sometime in 2013.

Marvel officially confirmed they are filming Galactic Guardians after Thor: The Dark World and Captain America: Winter Soldier. They also revealed the cast of the Galactic Guardians team will include: Drax the Destoryer, Gamora, Groot, Star-Lord, and everyone’s favorite, Rocket Raccoon. Galactic Guardians is slated to start in theaters on August 1, 2014.

That’s the first half of Ur W33K 1N G33K’s Comic Con coverage. Check back in for the rest of the news from the convention.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

“Actors only work with me if they are between desirable jobs.”
– Woody Allen

I made Woody Allen laugh. Now how many people in this world can make that claim? No one I know goddamn it. It was so cool having him sit only a few feet away from me plus the new movie, Melinda and Melinda, is my favorite of his since Bullets Over Broadway. The film is split up into two parts, the comedy and the tragedy. It stars Radha Mitchell as Melinda, a woman who unrepentantly bursts into dinner parties and sends everyone into a tizzy.

Read our exclusive interview with Woody Allen on SuicideGirls.com.

KattyFox Suicide in Cherry Cola

• MAKES ME HAPPY: Coca-cola.
• MAKES ME SAD: M83.
• HOBBIES: Tattoos and cake.

Get to know KattyFox better over at SuicideGirls.com!