by Lee Camp

Look around you. Are there zombies? Are there vampires? If you answered yes, then maybe you don’t need to watch this video. If you answered no, then I’m about to change your mind…or eat it.

[..]

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Clio

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q:I’ve wanted to ask this so many times, but knew no women would tell me the truth unless they did not know me. I’m 27 and was born with Muscular Dystrophy. All my life I’ve asked girls out and they all said no but would lie about why, though I know it’s the chair. All I ever wanted was the truth. Women are all I can think and dream about. Every guy I ever knew, even my dad, has told me no girl would ever sleep with me unless I paid for it – and that’s if I’m lucky. I can’t take much more heartache. I need to know if all women are going to look at me the same way and just face it that its just a dream I need to get over.

A: This is a difficult question to answer, but let me start by saying FUCK what your friends and your father say. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re any less worthy of having a girlfriend than an able-bodied person. It’s discouraging for anyone to be put down over and over again, and I honestly can’t tell you if a relationship’s in the cards for you or not, but don’t give up on your dream of finding yourself a lady. I did a quick online search on your condition and relationships, and I found plenty of stories from people with Muscular Dystrophy who are dating or even married with children. So regarding your question if all women will reject you based on your wheelchair; the answer is no. You might have to work harder at it than the average guy, but confidence and a positive attitude will significantly improve your chances of landing a date, regardless of your disability.

Good luck!

Clio
xoxox

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls crack team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Sex Toy Expert Moxi Suicide

In my ever present quest for the quintessential G-spot vibrator, I was browsing the merchandise at a local sex shop when Doc Johnson’s Harmony Slim G stopped me right in my tracks (see pic). It was 7 inches tall but only 2 inches in diameter, the head of it was curved in a perfect 45 degree angle. It looked like a sexy robot finger! Pelvis-pulsing, I plucked it off the wall of the sex shop, and the cashier rang me up and even threw in a pair of triple AAA batteries.

The Harmony Slim G is non-porous and phthalate-free so it’s safe for use internally. I’m always extra cautious when shopping for toys that I plan on using for any sort of penetration. Taking a toy out and sniffing it before you buy it is always a good idea; if a toy emits any type of plastic-y or chemical smell, it’s most likely made with phthalates and I would steer clear. (Phthalates are a chemical used to make plastic flexible and studies have shown that they may not be good for us!)

A dial on the bottom of the toy provides speed variation in the vibration, but I found it just as effective without any vibration. The slender shape and the angle of the head made finding that sensitive spot a cinch! The Slim G is also waterproof and ready to handle all fluids, bodily or otherwise. I suggest taking this toy into the shower with you for an extra steamy time.

The Slim G is like the best finger bang ever – leave everything up to leverage and play some tunes with a little rhythm (I suggest “Mr. Roboto” by Styx) and you’ll be rocking your way to squirt city in no time!

xx
Moxi

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by Fred Topel

“We got a little bit derailed because of Sex and the City.”
– Jessica Elbaum

Women in Hollywood have made monumental strides in the last year, with the success of Kristen Wiig’s Bridesmaids and Lena Dunham’s Girls. What you don’t hear as much about is that there have been equally major advances for women behind the scenes.

For example, at Gary Sanchez Productions, the production company of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, a woman holds a major executive position. Jessica Elbaum produced the Sundance hit Bachelorette, which was written and directed by Leslye Headland. The film became the number one pre-theatrical download on iTunes in August. It plays theaters this month and you can still get it online or VOD.

Bachelorette stars Kirsten Dunst, Lizzy Caplan and Isla Fischer as high school friends who grudgingly play bridesmaids to their friend Becky (Rebel Wilson). The girls begin the film as angry, resentful, promiscuous, and/or addicts (some combination of the aforementioned afflicts each character). The night before the wedding they cause a series of disasters that will take all night to fix, if they’re even able to before the wedding.

We got to chat with Elbaum by phone about her career as a female exec for some of the hottest comedy producers in Hollywood. She had a lot to share about the current climate for female-led comedy, her film Bachelorette, and the latest Gary Sanchez production, the long awaited Anchorman 2.

Read our exclusive interview with Jessica Elbaum on SuicideGirls.com.

Krito Suicide in Crystal Soul

• MAKES ME HAPPY: ♥My Baby♥.
• HOBBIES: Roller Derby.
• VICES: Sex, sexy girls, music.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: In another dimension XD.

Get to know Krito better over at SuicideGirls.com!