This Sunday our very special guests will be Love Junkie author Rachel Resnick, dating expert Marni Kinrys (of the Wing Girl Method), and SG’s Red, White and Femme post-feminist sex & sexuality columnist Darrah de jour. They’ll be chatting with hosts Nicole Powers (SG’s Managing Editor) and Lacey Conner (our resident recovering reality TV star from VH1’s Rock of Love and Charm School) about the issues surrounding sex and love addiction. When is a healthy sex life beyond healthy? Are hopeless romantics really hopelessly deluding themselves? Is sex and love addiction really a disease? Can it be cured? If so, how? And can we all learn healthier dating habits by understanding the issues raised by sex and love addiction?
Tune in to the world’s leading naked radio show for two hours of totally awesome tunes and extreme conversation – and don’t let yo momma listen in!
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INTO: Traveling, reading, music, cooking, art, old cars, ‘60s and ‘70s, anything vintage, fall weather, trying to play guitar, surfing when I can, long and short board skateboarding, photography, zombies, long road trips, no rules tackle mud football, beer.
NOT INTO: Sneaky government propaganda coming through TV screens, and fake ass people.
MAKES ME HAPPY: Amsterdam and beer (PBR baby).
MAKES ME SAD: Finding the time to surf, and the waves are flat!
HOBBIES: Surfing, skating (vintage roller derby skates), long and short board skateboarding, trying to play the guitar.
5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Beer, music, love, soap, and my car keys.
VICES: Beer, coffee, and horseradish!
I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Drinking beer and searching for the daily unexpected.
I have a tattoo on my arm. Well, I have a lot of tattoos on my arm, but the focal point of the whole thing is a portrait of Anne Boleyn. People always ask me, “Why her? Didn’t she get her head chopped off?” Indeed, she did. But that’s not why I have it. Back in the 16th century in England women were expected to be beautiful and ladylike at all times, they were supposed to dance, sing, stitch, and take their place next to their husbands quietly, never betraying emotion, only smiling sweetly even during the worst pain. Anne is a constant reminder of that very behavior. She changed the course of history by never allowing her king to see weakness in spirit. Even after he sentenced her to death she still kept her head high. When I want to cry, I smile sweetly and never betray my feelings. Even when my heart is breaking or when I’m terrified, no one will ever know; I know my place and it’s to never falter.
I’ve always been a fan of the phrase “fake it ’til you make it.” If you act like you know what the hell is going, on people are more likely to think that you do. This can be applied to most any area of your life — most recently for me at work; a promotion at my music club in Boston finds me off the bar and in a brand spanking new manager role which leaves me terrified daily. I have no idea what I’m doing; all these fancy bands and employees now answer to me — I have never been in charge in my life! I just fake it. Act like I know what I’m doing, and it will all fall into place and one day I won’t have to act anymore, one day I really will be this boss lady.
This mantra can be applied to relationships as well. A recent breakup (yes, I know, another one) has left me slightly damaged. I don’t know exactly where it went wrong, but somewhere during our summer in the city we lost something, and it was too far gone to be repaired. Somehow the nights of drinking hadn’t led to those talks that bring people closer together, and instead of trying to fix it, we both allowed the rope to fray until finally, something snapped. We didn’t even have time to heal; working together only a day after the breakup was like rubbing salt into an open wound. I wanted to scream in everyone’s face as I smiled sweetly and took their drink order, “Do you know what this is doing to me?!” Never once did I stumble, and neither did he.
I don’t know if it’s hard for him to see me, and I wonder if he knows that every time I smile or laugh or even talk to him that it’s all an act, every move rehearsed, planned, like a puppet on a stage. I don’t hang out at our bar as much on my nights off, but when I do, every minute spent trying not to look at him feels like an hour. Whatever guy I’m talking to might as well be speaking French, that’s how much I’m paying attention. The room is nothing but a dull roar in the background of my mind, and all I am thinking is “don’t fall.”
There’s something to be said about the way I go about things. Maybe it’s not healthy, maybe it’s avoidance, running away, a sham. Who knows? Maybe this isn’t easy on him either, and watching me just go back to my single life is equally as trying on his shot nerves. I have no way of ever knowing. All I know is that every other time I have built this wall, one day, I wake up and I’m fine. By forcing this immediate friendship I am diving headfirst into daily trauma, but I am laying the groundwork for a normal future. I have no room in my life for hate, so even if I am bursting with anger he’ll never see it.
I know one day, just like all the rest of my ex’s, I will be able to call him a friend. One day I’ll be able to look at him and not have to fake a smile that will tug at the corners of lifeless eyes. One day I will walk into my music club and not shake after I interview an employee or ask a tour manager to please pay attention and sign this contract. Maybe this is life beyond the bar scene after all, being in control and in charge of work and my emotions even though I feel like running to the bathroom in tears. Maybe this is just growing up, accepting this feeling of being scared and alone but powering though because there is no other choice but to go on, no choice but to hold your head high and conquer anything because in this life failure is not an option.
Joss Whedon is no mere mortal in need of rest and relaxation. After wrapping up The Avengers, Whedon used his month long vacation to do a secret shooting of an adaptation of Shakespeare’s masterpiece Much Ado About Nothing
JOSS WHEDON: Well, it’s not a bit secret that I’ve done these [Shakespeare] readings before, and I always had a vague notion of shooting Much Ado. But I didn’t really have a take on it. And then, for some reason, I kinda sorta did. As we were finishing The Avengers in New York, my wife and I were planning our vacation for our 20th anniversary. And she said, “Let’s not take the vacation. Make a movie instead.” I was like, “I’m not even sure if I can adapt the script, cast the movie, and prep it in a month.” And she was like, “Well, that’s your vacation time, so you do it.” And so I did.
Starring several members of the Whedonverse, the cast includes: Nathan Fillion, Alexis Denisof (Angel), and Fran Kranz (Dollhouse), amongst others. Shooting the film in only twelve days, the entire cast managed to keep the project secret until it was announced via a press release.
Whedon isn’t the only one moving past The Avengers in a hurry. Marvel has announced several superhero sequels for 2013. All the usual suspects are present: Iron Man 3, Thor 2, Captain America 2, and the long rumored Ant-Man is still on the list.
With three exceedingly mediocre movies based on The Punisher, it’s surprising to hear that he’s getting another chance, this time on TV. If anything could make this situation more shaky, Fox has purchased the rights to the series. Odds are it will either be fantastic and immediately get cancelled, or it’s going to be another agonizing hour of prime time that they’ll keep around for years to come.
Mark Hamill tweeted his goodbye to voice acting as the Joker after Arkham City was released. The goodbyes weren’t so final as he quickly reneged on his statement when asked about an adaption of the graphic novel The Killing Joke. After his confirmation he’d come back for such a project, a fan movement started to get the project in motion.
With so many other interesting TV series popping up, is it surprising to learn that Stephen King’s The Dark Tower has gone from film to television? Producer Brian Gazer reports that the series has been picked up by HBO. There is still the possibility of a movie, but they intend to ‘do it right.’
For those Star Wars fans not heart broken by the series being rereleased in 3D, the trailer for Episode I has made it online (though it was subsequently pulled from YouTube by Fox).
Moving onto more exciting sci-fi movies, Ender’s Game the movie has received an official release date of March 15, 2013. The film is still over a year out, but after a long rollercoaster ride of the project being off and on, it’s great to see a solid date.
First they released the sneakers from the Back to the Future movies, then they announced the rerelease of the DeLorean. As if in an attempt to make Back to the Future’s timeline absolutely correct, development of a real hoverboard is underway. The board currently needs a rail to guide it, but they have two years to fix that.
Pulling one straight from the Disney playbook, Warner Bros. will pull all Harry Potter DVD titles off the shelves on December 29, 2011; this includes the soon to be released Deathly Hallow Part 2. If you haven’t finished your collection, now is your chance. Who knows when Warner Bros. will release the films back into circulation? I’m betting no less than ten years.
Not the most shocking news, but Rockstar has officially announced Grand Theft Auto V. The preview will be released on November 2. I’m hoping they change things up a bit, perhaps a female protagonist?
On a final note, massive video game convention Blizzcon 2011 has come and passed. Several major announcements were made for World of Warcraft, including the introduction of the first neutral race, Pandaren. Most impressively, it looks like Blizzard plans on releasing three games next year, the expansions for World of Warcraft , Starcraft, and Diablo III.
SuicideGirls is utterly shocked and appalled by the brutality used by police against protesters at #OccupyOakland last night. Authorities used the charge of “unlawful assembly” as a weak excuse to wage all out war against US citizens, who were doing nothing more than exercising their democratic right – and, at this point, responsibility – to protest against the wholesale looting and pillaging of our economy and the vandalism of our democracy as perpetrated by members of the 1%. Watching the livestream and video footage of police pitted against peaceful protester on the streets of Oakland, one has to wonder who they are there to protect and serve.
Here, friend of SG JackalAnon, who is still suffering from the after effects of the tear gas used, gives us his own first person account of what went down:
I saw use of tear gas three times, the sound canon, bean bags, uncountable amount of flashbangs and rubber bullets being used. I saw 1 kid passed out, a few people bleeding, puking and everyone screaming and crying. I was affected by tear gas [which] was [used] at least 3 times. Eyes / skin burning, couldn’t breath due to coughing. And got hit by a bean bag (wish I would’ve kept it). Cops where in full riot gear with shield and gas mask…
Moving moments was when a protester threw $$$ at the police line yelling “will you protect us now?” After the first attack of tear gas we chanted “we’re still here” though our unbelievably burning crying. I was never close enough to see any badge numbers, and although I didn’t see it I herd of quite a few times of people getting hit with the baton.
Tonight started off as a protest, but was turned into a full out war for no reason. The crowd I was with was always peaceful. We yelled, protested, yes, but that is fully in our rights. We are the people to protect, not the people to be denied our rights as citizens of the United States. Our forefathers and our military personal fought hard for these rights, and for what? For us to be suppressed? I think not… it’s our turn to not ask, beg, or vote our rights back, but to take them as they are ours. — @JackalAnon
Among those who were injured at the hands of the police (see video) was Veteran For Peace member Scott Olsen, who sustained a fractured skull.
Veteran For Peace member, Scott Olsen, a Marine Corps veteran twice deployed to Iraq, is in hospital now in stable but serious condition with a fractured skull, struck by a police projectile fired into a crowd in downtown Oakland, California in the early morning hours of today. Other people were injured in the assault and many were arrested after Oakland police in riot gear were ordered to evict people encamped in the ongoing “Occupy Oakland” movement. Olsen is also a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War.
VFP members are involved with dozens of these local “occupy movement” encampments and we support them fully. In Boston, for example, our members, wearing VFP shirts and carrying VFP flags, stood between a line of police and the encampment, urging police to “join the 99%” and not evict the protesters. In that case, several of our members were banged and bruised when the police decided instead to carry out their eviction orders.
In Oakland, last night, a similar thing happened, according to VFP Chapter 69 member and Navy veteran, Joshua Sheperd, who said he went to downtown Oakland “to see if, as a VFP member, I could help still the anger…to be between the police and the protesters…it seemed unconscionable to me that the police use the cover of darkness like that to do what they were doing.” Fortunately, he was not injured in the police assault that left Olsen with a fractured skull
As with virtually every example of the occupy movement across the country, those encamped were conducting themselves peacefully beforehand, protesting current economic, social and environmental conditions in the U.S. brought about by decades of corporate control, a criminal financial industry and wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that are driving the U.S. global empire into bankruptcy. These “occupy movement” participants are telling us something we need very desperately to hear. They should be listened to, not arrested and brutalized.
Police in the majority of cities are acting with restraint and humanity towards the encampments, but Veterans For Peace will not be deterred by police who choose to use brutal tactics. In fact, as happens with repression everywhere, more people join the cause. We do believe that the rank and file police officers are part of the 99%, the overwhelming majority of Americans who are suffering at the hands of an intolerable system. Layoffs and cutbacks in city after city prove that we must join together to demand justice for all.
We send our very best to Scott Olsen and his family and wish him a speedy recovery to health.
We shall not be moved.
@OccupyOakland will reconvene tonight. They have announced via Twitter that they will hold a General Assembly at 6 PM in the vicinity of Oscar Grant Plaza / 14th & Broadway. If a GA is not possible in that area, a second location, the Library on 14th & Madison, has been designated as the fallback meeting place.
Al Jazeera is reporting that an already injured activist has been severely mistreated in jail:
One activist told Al Jazeera that her boyfriend was beaten by police and hospitalised before being jailed and beaten again. Asking only to go by ‘Anne’, she asked that her partner not be named for safety reasons.
When he was first arrested around 6pm on Tuesday, she said: “The police thought that he was Latino and started calling him Poncho and making racial slurs and sexual gestures. He said the fire department people and paramedics were doing this along with the cops.”
Once hospitalised, the man filed a police brutality report, after which the officer recording the complaint told him he would “go to jail for assault or battery of a police officer and resisting arrest,” Anne said. He was then moved from the hospital to the local county jail.
“I talked to him twice now since he’s been in Santa Rita [County Jail] and he said they were basically torturing him there. They beat him in front of a bunch of people including a nurse, and then they took him to another room and they put his head in a toilet, put his hands in a toilet, threw him against a wall.” The allegations could not be independently verified.
Besides his being in a crowd of protesters, Anne said that her partner’s arrest was completely unprovoked.
WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I’ve been doing the online dating thing for the latter part of this year, and it’s cool to chat about it with fellow SG internerds!
DISCUSSION TIP: Don’t whine about never getting messages [unless you’re looking for profile help].
BEST RANDOM QUOTE: : “hi since you’re horny will you have sex with me? We can get to know each other after!” And basically anything else in the “I fought the LOL and the LOL won” thread.
