by A.J. Focht

The weekend came and went with no signs of raptors or the rapture (except this). In fact, no apocalypse of any kind occurred, much to the disappointment of Harold Camping’s followers, and the delight and derision of most of the nerd population. That’s not to say that the CDC didn’t already have it – and you – covered, as they explained with the release of America’s official Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness 101 outline this last week. While there was no immediate need to put it to use, it’s very existence grants a bit of extra hope for the American citizen (except for those of us who can make out that massive gaping holes in the plan).

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by Daniel Robert Epstein

Little did I know that the Scottish guy that took over Howard Hesseman’s role on Head of the Class, Billy Connolly, would go on to become one of the funnier comedians working today. But over the past ten years Connolly has gotten more acclaim as an actor in films like Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Last Samurai and SuicideGirls’ favorite Boondock Saints. But his new film, Fido, showcases Connolly’s best role yet. Fido is set in an alternate universe in 1950’s America. A mysterious gas came down to Earth and turned all dead people into zombies. After the great zombie war, secure towns have been established, and with the help of a special collar, zombies can become servants, and in some cases, people’s lovers. Connolly plays Fido, a zombie that has been brought into a family where the father is terrified of zombies. But the little boy in the family, Timmy, is being ignored by father and decides to adopt Fido as a pet. I got a chance to interview Billy Connolly during the Fido junket in Manhattan.

Read our exclusive interview with Billy Connolly on SuicideGirls.com.

Luana Suicide in Blanket Weather

• INTO: Dancing around my house in my undies.
• NOT INTO: Ignorant people.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: My dog Kingston, good food, great company.
• MAKES ME SAD: Judgment.
• HOBBIES: Reading, laying in the sun with my fruity drink, sketching, Mario Cart Wii, eating, good sex.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Music, Chapstick, a pen, laughter, sex.
• VICES: Weeeeeeeeed.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Eating, playing with my puppy, reading, watching good movies, cooking, being with family/friends.

Get to know Luana better over at SuicideGirls.com!

by Bob Suicide

The other day I came across a picture which had the caption: “OMG, I love macaroni so much. I’m such a nerd.” This irked me to the very core of my being. Your quaint quirks don’t make you a nerd. Going to see a comic-based movie doesn’t make you a nerd.

Jeff Foxworthy has his famous You Might Be A Redneck If… sketch, and with the rising mainstream popularity of geek culture, there comes a necessity to distinguish true nerds from recent converts, so I thought I’d come up with a similarly styled list of rules to help separate the fo’ realz from the wannabes.

Now, many other lists say that nerds must wear glasses (preferably with tape around the bridge), speak Klingon (binary, C++, or some other geeky language), and have all the social graces of an ostrich with its head in the sand, but these should not be the required defining hallmarks of a great, eclectic group of hardcore fans of all things geek: video games, science, science fiction, comics, etc.

We are more than the negative stereotypes that have often been levied against us. So without further ado, I present my homage to Foxworthy and true geekdom, You Might be a Nerd if…

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by Blogbot

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

This week, Frolic Suicide explains why she lays down at the alter of Celeb Worship.

Members: 666 / Comments: 195,941

• WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I’m not a huge follower of celebrity gossip and the goings-on of the Hollywood scene, but when I come to this group I can get all the highlights I need in one fell swoop. And the members are hilariously snarky and pretty much just point and laugh at the stupid things celebrities do that make them human.
• DISCUSSION TIP: From the “Welcome” thread: A) Try not to be a fucking weirdo, B) I’m sorry, but no, you were not the 666th member.
• BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “I’d put a finger in it.”
• MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: Any in which a newbie comes in and throws a stink about everyone being “sooo mean!!!”
• WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone who enjoys a good laugh and likes to be up to date on celebrity mishaps.

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by Mike Hammer

Sage Francis tears holes in hypocrisy and mainstream hip-hop with his thoughtful stories of the human condition. The wordsmith spits rhymes that make you think, make you smile, and flow beautifully over high-tempo beats. His new album, Human the Death Dance, is a hip-hop work of art that mixes cutting edge beats from indie rap producers like Alias and Reanimator and Ant, as well as Sage’’s insightful personal and pop cultural rants. The 16-track disc is what Sage calls a “wrap up” album of all his previous work.

I sat down with Sage in Cleveland, Ohio to hear some things about the indie hip-hop scene, his abnormal MySpace page, the first rhyme he ever wrote, greedy publishing companies, and more.

Read our exclusive interview with Sage Francis on SuicideGirls.com.

Lumo Suicide in Venus Anadyomene

• INTO: Martial arts, movies, reading, plastic, bright colors, fluffy stuff, haiku, driving alone, freckles (yummy).
• NOT INTO: Sports, running (why??), public bathrooms, pick-up lines, washing dishes.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: The smell of newly mown grass, coffee, wind, stretching, very good food, pretty undies, my special cup, lists to organize my head.
• MAKES ME SAD: Mornings, Jacob Zuma-well, politics in general.
• HOBBIES: Kung Fu.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: I have to choose only 5??????????????????? MY STUFF, ALL of it!
• VICES: Bad temper, hate mornings…a lot. Did I mention mornings? Bad electrical juju, bad spelling, grammar and typing (you may have noticed).
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Anime and avid series watching. Sadly I have the typical girly trait of loving shopping.

Get to know Lumo better over at SuicideGirls.com!