By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. There is a girl that I have been trying to date for more than a couple months now. She loves video games, swears and drinks just as much as I do, and has an overall awesome personality. She has told my friends on multiple occasions that she likes me, and wants me to go for it. Here is my dilemma: one of our mutual friends, that she has known way longer than me, I’m pretty sure is deeply in love with her. This is why my decision has taken so long, and now it seems like I have lost my opportunity. I always put my friends before myself, and it always seems to hurt me in the end. I have waited so long, and now it seems like my chance is blown. Though her and I are still friends, it doesn’t seem like she still has the same feelings she once did. Do these feelings really just go away? Should I forget the whole thing, or should I just grow some balls and confront her?

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by Brett Warner

“In the United States, Christmas has become the rape of an idea.”
– Richard Bach

“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.”
– Randall Graves

My enemy is a short, middle-aged African American woman wearing a purple felt winter coat and black leather gloves. We’re standing in the Politics section of Borders Books in the Southland Mall of Taylor, Michigan with one of my co-workers and a tall, white sweater-wearing man looking on from the sidelines. I’m holding a small hardcover book — not shelved in Politics, as the woman had claimed, but in Sociology. Caught mid-task in the midst of Holiday mall shopping pandemonium, she’d asked for help finding a book in this section. Escorting her here, a quick look on the Book Search computer revealed the title’s true location.

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By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. So a couple who are both friends of mine have approached me and asked me if I’d participate in a threesome with them, partly because I’m the token bi friend and partly because the guy kind of has a thing for me. The girl, being the one I’m closer to, was the one who asked. I accepted, because it could be fun, because better me than someone who’ll hog the guy in front of his girlfriend and otherwise not give a shit about them, and because I’m kind of curious how I’ll act in it.

Please help. We’ve scheduled it for the end of the month, when she’s home from University, but the guy and I have no idea if we should go through with this.

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by Brett Warner

Love him or hate him, Kanye West is America’s favorite asshole. His endlessly hyped new album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy hits stores next week, though little of that hype concerns the music itself. Whether apologizing to George W. Bush, rambling on Twitter, canceling appearances, or claiming that Coldplay are bigger than The Beatles, Kanye seems dead set on further alienating his “haters” and keeping his fans in perpetually defensive mode. In spite of – or perhaps, because of – his talents, Kanye is a uniquely positioned pop culture scapegoat. Too self involved and misinformed to realize how he sounds to the rest of us, Mr. West has a knack for stealing the spotlight from other obnoxious, egotistical celebrity artists – of which there are plenty.

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By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. A few months ago I had a boyfriend. We had a long distance relationship for eight months. I went to his country to meet up with him twice, and he promised me he’d come visit me this year. However, a month after I got back from seeing him, he stopped sending emails and answering the phone, and so on. It was like he died. After I spoke with his friends, he sent an email saying, “I’m sorry but I like anther person and I cannot be with you like before.” I asked him to explain and said I wanted to be his friend, but this was in July and he still hasn’t responded. It makes me very sad. I write emails to him and try to find out how he’s doing, but he won’t communicate with me. I understand that love can die, but what is his problem with being friends? I think he is wonderful person and I still love him a lot. I only wanna be his friend.

I feel alone and sad. I don’t love myself a lot, but he made me feel good. I try to work and study a lot, but I cry everyday. I wanna cry in class and I don’t know what I should do. How I can talk with him? And how can I feel good about myself again? What I can do?

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by Brad Warner

I just read a horrendous news story about the Petit family in Connecticut who were murdered by a group of assholes.

According to CNN, “On July 23, 2007, men wearing ski masks attacked the family as they slept in their suburban Cheshire home. The father, a physician, was beaten with a bat and tied to a pole in his basement. His wife was raped and strangled. The girls were tortured for nearly seven hours, one sexually assaulted, then killed when the attackers set the house on fire.”

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by Brett Warner

There’s dust moving through the light, I notice three drinks in. It’s Factory Monday at The Necto nightclub in Ann Arbor, Michigan and I’m surrounded by a significant representation of the local gothic community. They’re projecting some anime film against the wall, which doesn’t strike me as being very goth, but that’s been the common theme of the evening: a vodka-fueled internal struggle with the definition of “gothness” and how to embody it. DJ Jinx is shaking the walls with a Combichrist song I’ve learned to recognize, which causes the textured light (equal parts smoke machine mist and various makeup powders) to twitch and sway to the relentless beat. I’ve been to a handful of Factory Mondays, and each time I can’t help but feel like Colin Farrell at the beginning of the Miami Vice movie—i.e. a total narc. Apart from my Elvis Costello glasses, penchant for black hoodies and old Depeche Mode records, there’s little to no social thread connecting me to this scene. But that’s the secret to understanding the gothic community on southeast Michigan: 1.) They don’t care about me, and 2.) Most of them only very casually care about goth stuff.

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