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Sep 2012 25

by Shotgun

We asked 10 Suicide Girls if they could curl their tongue, and filmed their reaction. While Annasthesia can do multiple tricks with her tongue, Tovi has given up trying. It’s okay though, she has plenty of other talents, like baking. Watch them, along with Phecda, Kentessa, Oakley, Smayx, Vellin, Yesnesnia, Madison, and the lovely Tita as they stick their tongues out and show off their skills.

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Sep 2012 25

Patton Suicide in Hyacinth House

  • INTO: Art, broccoli, bats, body piercings, tattoos, Halloween, loud music, things that hurt, tight pants, loyalty, lunchboxes, dancing, quantum physics, workaholics, astral projection, needles, respect, monsters, insomniacs, wormholes, math equations, empathy, gore, mass murderers, machines, alternate dimensions, coupons, anatomy, Tetris, zombies, sharp objects, shiny things, comfy tees, short shorts.
  • NOT INTO: Nonsense, egos, arrogance, hustlers, skanks, injuring myself while barefoot, grocery shopping, being cold, batteries dieing, alarms going off, spilling things, interruptions, pretentious attitudes, cops, doppelgangers.
  • MAKES ME HAPPY: Picture texts, phone calls, body warmth, cats, boobs, sweet tea, surprises, broccoli, holding hands, kisses on the forehead, getting tucked in, Ugg boots, bats, sketchbooks.
  • MAKES ME SAD: Brooms, iPod running out of power, getting out of bed, burning my hair with my cigarettes, nosebleeds, laundry, icebergs, the ocean.
  • HOBBIES: Reading, painting, singing songs to myself, causing general pandemonium, dancing, being naked.
  • 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Sunglasses, my cat, cigarettes, loud music.
  • I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Daydreaming, working non-stop, untangling my hair, pulling out eyelashes that stab me in the eye, pretending I’m a princess.

Get to know Patton better over at SuicideGirls.com!


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Sep 2012 24

by Lee Camp

You’ve heard it before from rappers – C.R.E.A.M. – Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Does it? Or is money just a simple measuring stick that we’ve allowed to run away with itself? Are people dying because of our simplistic inability to wrap our heads around these funny green pieces of paper? Or is it possible…Sorry! Gotta run! They’re announcing the Lottery numbers!

[..]

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Sep 2012 24

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Aadie

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Aadie in Time Out]

Q. I’ve been married for two years and my wife told me she wants to separate. It’s been three months and everything I do or see reminds me of her. I want to move away but I’m on probation and can’t. I’ve tried dating other women but every time I go on a date all I can focus on is how it’s not the same as with my wife. She’s already moved on and I see no hope of us getting back together. What should I do?

A: You need to focus on you. You have devoted two years to ‘us’ and she left. For that I have empathy for you, but now it’s seriously all about you.

Going on the odd date here and there is healthy but don’t over do it. I think you need to find yourself again in the aftermath of a relationship that very much defined you. It’s sad when people separate but sometimes that’s just the way it is.

Now it’s time to reintroduce yourself to yourself, get new hobbies, go to new bars, join a new gym, get a new hair style even. Find new friends, and also reconnect with old ones who perhaps fell by the wayside as you put more energy into the relationship.

For the moment, instead of looking to replace one relationship with another, build up your social circle and social life, so you have plenty of support and distractions. This will also help you when you are ready to find love again, to perhaps find it in a more organic and less overwhelming way through friends and friends of friends.

It’s going to be difficult, but you’re worth more then you know. Take a deep breath and hold your head up high. Your new life is beginning. You can only move forwards from here.

Aadie
xoxo

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

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Sep 2012 24

by M. J. Johnson


[Havoc in Restless]

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to “glorify God and enjoy him forever.”

– excerpt from Walden: Life in the Woods by Henry David Thoreau

I went into the park because I wished to read my book. What could be better than spending a warm afternoon with my back to a tree, a good book in hand, a cup of coffee next to me, cool grass and dirt under my butt? Well, apparently, I’m the only one who was thinking that way.

I recently moved to Iowa City; it’s a funky little college town, sort of a mini-Portland. On one side of town is this HUGE city park (cleverly called “City Park”), which is roughly the same size as the village where I grew up. There are pavilions and playgrounds, ball-diamonds and soccer pitches, and even a little train kids can ride. And the place was PACKED! Every pavilion had a family reunion, and the playgrounds were humming with giggles and screams. The walking trails were full of serious runners and leisurely walkers. There were even people using canoes to annoy the ducks.

But only I was on the grass. There weren’t any signs telling people to stay off the grass; in fact, there were benches and grills scattered all around under the trees. There just weren’t any people off the paths.

Hundreds of people, gathered in this tamed forest, and only I walked on the grass. Only I sat under a tree. Only I dared to leave the concrete or wood-chips.

Carl Jung talks about the Collective Unconscious, a sort of racial memory (where the “race” in question is “human”), which forms our psyche and explains why people in different cultures have similar stories and fears. Based on fairy tales and stories, forests are a place of human fear. Hansel and Gretel? Little Red Riding Hood? Any knightly quest, all have scary things hidden in the wild places. Our ancestors learned to fear the woods because all those trees give predators a good place to hide.

Has this translated into a fear of leaving the concrete path? Are we all so afraid of the wild that we don’t want to even walk on the grass? When I was teaching, I had to laugh at students who went far, far out of their way to get from class to class, simply because that’s where the sidewalk went.

Do we quaver at the feel of uneven ground under our feet? Does the thought of getting our shoes dirty terrify us? Are grass-stains scary? Do we think a mountain lion is lurking in the trees over our heads? Do we still fear the witch in the woods?

Or is it something else? This park did not have “keep off the grass” signs, but many do. People spend millions of dollars every year to create lawns to see but not walk upon. Shoe companies create specific shoes for running on roads, dirt paths, or sidewalks, but the human foot is designed to run on grass, to step where no one else has stepped.

When Thoreau went into the woods, he wanted to wake up knowing that he was surrounded by nothing but nature. He reveled in squirrels who invaded his home, and spent hours just studying a war between black and red ants (scholars like to debate whether he really saw the ant war or not). He spent chapters describing the quiet.

When was the last time things around you were really quiet? I open my windows at night and listen to people in the parking lot, cars on the road, fire engines, shouts, motorcycles, and some annoying brat with a whistle. We buy white-noise machines to play static so we can sleep. We have televisions and radios and ipods playing at all times, and claim its because we “live for music.”

Humans have never been all that comfortable in the wild; we’re fragile when compared to lions and tigers and bears (oh my!), so we build caves (houses) and cut down the trees, then complain that all the wild places are disappearing.

We’re supposed to be a part of nature, not separated from it. So, there is no reason to walk on the sidewalk.

Except for the bears.

M. J. Johnson is the professional name of Coyotemike. He has written a moderately bad e-book called The Bastards Club and is working on getting more serious work published.

Related Posts
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Sep 2012 24

by Sex Toy Expert Moxi Suicide

Wow. I just finished using the Doc Johnson Mood Fantastic for the first time, and I have to admit it’s kind of hard to type because my finger tips are still tingly from my amazing orgasm. I recently received a huge box of toys from Doc Johnson, and trying to pick out the first one to try was a bit of a challenge, but I definitely picked a winner. I was drawn to the Fantastic because it looked like it packed a lot of punch, and if there’s one thing I need in a clitoral vibrator, it’s power.

The Fantastic is made of phthalate and latex-free plastic and is part of the “mood” line by Doc Johnson. There a lot of features about the Fantastic that make it a great vibrator. I love love love the fact that it’s rechargeable. It charges similarly to your cell phone, so that when you’re ready to use your vibrator you can just unplug it from the charger and you’re ready to go, no hassle with batteries, with the extra bonus, it’s environmentally friendly!

Speed is controlled by an easy to reach dial on the shaft of the vibrator. In addition to the speed dial there’s a small button on the side that allows you to pulse the vibration. Once you set your speed you can pulse away at your own rhythm!

True to its first impression on me, the Fantastic holds a lot of firepower. The flexible head of the Fantastic covers your entire clitoral area and delivers dynamite sensation. This vibrator is the one I’ll grab when I need a maximum power toe-tingling orgasm fast!

xx
Moxi

Related Posts:
Power Tools: Doc Johnson’s Harmony Slim G Yang
Power Tools: The Nubby Bullet

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Sep 2012 24

Ajilee Suicide in Baby Girl

  • INTO: Music, make up, sleeping, BBQs, Asian food.
  • NOT INTO: Egotistical assholes, small talk.
  • MAKES ME HAPPY: Having milk in the fridge, my cats getting along, lounging around in bed, Sephora. M.A.C., amazing new tunes, baths, fixing things.
  • 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Chapstick, gum, makeup, iPod, and a good pillow!
  • VICES: Makeup, anything mint, gum.
  • I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: On the couch.

Get to know Ajilee better over at SuicideGirls.com!