by Laurelin

Disappointment is one of the worst feelings in the world. I vividly remember experiencing it as a little girl who so badly wanted a cat for her birthday; my parents had a huge wrapped gift on the table when I woke up, and as I tore through the paper I was so sure it must be something for my new cat. It was a birdcage, and as it took everything in me not to break down in tears. I forced a smile, and I named my first pet parakeet Buttercup.

Later on in high school I would pick out my favorite outfit just to have my crush be out sick that day. I would do something out of line at home and have my parents so upset that they weren’t even angry, just disappointed, and I wished with all my heart I could take it back but I never could.

As I get older I notice that a lot of the time the fierce optimism I associate with my bright demeanor has faded. When one always expects to be let down, it almost makes the inevitable disappointment more manageable. That guy you liked, it never would have worked out anyways. He would never like someone like you. Things would be too complicated, too messy and it’s probably better this way, even though inside I’m screaming because I want so badly for just one person to prove me wrong.

I remember the moment I realized my last relationship was over, the black cloud of disappointment just washed over me like a wave and I was shaken to the core with the realization that this was really it. I was back to being just me, not me and him. It was the day after his birthday, and we were supposed to meet for a drink at the bar we worked at. I wanted to see him so badly, our schedules were tough and we rarely had days off together. I waited…

Every time the door opened I looked, and it was never him. A lifetime spent watching the door, and he never came, my cell phone eventually glowed with a text that simply said, “I’m sorry.” I walked home and I watched the trains go by under the overpass and I knew it was over, this was the last time he would let me down.

We all have baggage. An expected crash and burn after so many before seems only right; but maybe, just maybe, this time things will be different. As someone new comes into your life, there’s that fine line between great expectations and where they’re going to fall. I can’t help but find myself waiting for a storm, holding my breath, forever waiting for disaster.

It’s exhausting and I wish for something different. Outside it starts to rain, and I quicken my pace as I head for the bar. I wonder if he’s there yet, and I wish for sun briefly before realizing I don’t even care. No matter how grey the sky becomes and how rarely the sun seems to shine, maybe I’ve been going about things all wrong. Maybe the key is just to learn to dance in the rain.

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by Blogbot

Artist / SG Member Name: Carolina Montoya a.k.a. SG Hopeful SaintKitten

Mission Statement: Some of the things I do are inspired by weird dreams I have, so there’s no common meaning. I’m working on a project about how tattoos are a physical introduction to the person that has them. I guess everything that I’ve been doing lately has an element of that. For instance, I love classical paintings and sculptures, and you can tell by some of my own paintings and tattoos that I do. 



Medium: My favorite it’s definitely oil. But I also love to try new things, and mix them up. I’ve done some watercolors as well, but I will always return to oil.

 (I’m also a tattoo artist, and as such, my medium is ink in skin.)

Aesthetic: Finding my own style has been an issue for me, so I’ve tried pretty much everything I think it’s possible to. I’ve even done a few “Buffay’s” (you’ll get it if you ‘re a Friends fan). But I have to say realistic drawings and paintings are my thing.


Notable Achievements: Notable? Not yet. Personal achievements? Yes, everyday! I try really hard to get better day by day, and I’m proud of a few things I’ve done, but I have to say to be in the place I want to be I’ve still got a lot of stuff to discover and learn.



Why We Should Care: You should care because I’m just like most of you. It’s not easy for me to buy cool stuff, or wear nice clothes, and most of the time I give away my work. What I really want with my work is that people can relate to it, and the only way of making that possible is that my work is seen. 



I Want Me Some: You can contact me via SG or on Facebook.

[..]

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Smythe

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I have a very close friend who recently told me she was physically attracted to me, and wants to start a friends with benefits relationship. There is a lot of sexual tension between us, and although I’m very sure I won’t develop feelings for her, her friends have told me that she hopes down the line we can have a full-on relationship. I’m afraid of her developing emotional feelings, and endangering our friendship. I really love the girl and don’t want to lose her as a friend. What should I do?

A: Holy goodness, that’s a toughie. It is really awesome that you realize there may be issues with engaging in a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship. If she’s already made mention of hoping for more than just ass with you, then odds are things will get complicated. She’s going into things with hopes for more, and she will probably get attached more than is warranted in a FWB arrangement. It seems like, despite what she may say, she won’t be able to help herself from getting overly emotionally involved. At the end of a FWB relationship, depending on the kind of a person she is, it may just take a moment for her to wrap her head around the shift back to strictly friends status, but there is the possibility of her taking it hard, like a legit break up, and you may lose her as a friend.



You also don’t have to jump into the deep end with the FWB thing. Talk about it with her, express your concern about losing a friend. Probably don’t mention her friends speaking to you; let the conversation just be about you and her. Gauge her responses to your concerns, it may be clear at that point that it’s best not to go any further. If you decide to give the FWB thing a go, maybe keep it PG-13 for a bit and see if her attitude towards you shifts. I feel like a lot of people can shrug off a few make out sessions, but damage control after sex can be a bit harder.



Tread carefully, if you dare to tread at all.

Smythe

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Bradley Suicide

I, like so many of us, grew up loving ‘80s classics. The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Saint Elmo’s Fire, on and on. I could recite these movies word for word, line by line when I was growing up, and to tell you the truth, still can.

The movie that took the cake for me was, by far, Sixteen Candles. Something about it captivated me. And of course, I was enthralled with the smoldering and sexy Jake Ryan, just like almost every other girl. With that amazing bone structure and those perfectly gorgeous piercing bedroom eyes, he had my heart beating out of control (I have to pause and take a moment).

In case you live under a rock and haven’t seen Sixteen Candles, I will take this opportunity to tell you to pause your reading and pick up where you’ve left off once you have watched every amazingly corny moment of it in its entirety.

The other day this slice of ‘80s awesomeness was on TV so I flipped it on while I got ready for work. Somewhere towards the end of the movie between when Samantha’s sister is in the middle of her drug induced nuptials and when that limo pulls away revealing the ever breathtaking Jake sitting there waiting for Samantha it hit me, Jake Ryan was a douche bag.

Plain and simple.

After carefully mulling over the key moments in the film that led me to this conclusion, I was dumbfounded that it had taken me so long to realize this. Between throwing a Project X style party and destroying his parents home, being an asshole to his girlfriend, then basically pimping her out in a rufied state to some random dude he doesn’t know, and lending a kid without a license his dad’s Rolls Royce…well I am pretty sure all of that has nut sack written all over it. The cherry on top of all of it is that horrible scene where Jake and his friend appear to be doing innumerous pull-ups, only when the camera to pans out you realize that in true bro fashion they have been standing on the ground the whole time thinking they are hot shit. Watching it now, it kind of reminds me of Mike “The Situation” from Jersey Shore!

Long after the candles on the cardboard cake had been blown out and the credits had rolled, I was still reeling. I began looking at the guys that I am attracted to and re-evaluating the relationships that I have had, both short and long, with this new epiphany in mind. And then, Doh! Facepalm! The pieces fell into place. Things like this are the reason I, and so many other girls, like assholes. We are conditioned to like the guy that is a complete douche at times because it has been beaten into us since our youth. Not to say there isn’t other conditioning that I am sure is involved, but humor me here.

On top of it all, and I am sure people are going to rip me a new one for this, but the ending of this movie is so far from the scope of reality that it’s insane. When on earth has this happened? In a high school setting, when has the smoldering, popular, sexy as all hell dude ever left his perfect ten girlfriend for a chick that he doesn’t know and that is by no means bad looking but definitely wouldn’t turn your head? Never. It doesn’t happen. Berate me all you want for this, but you cannot say that I am wrong. (I didn’t blossom until after high school and was very awkward for most of it, so I was definitely on the plain side of that coin.)

And I know it isn’t just me that this crap has subconsciously affected, go ahead and flip on the radio to Taylor Swift, her songs are all filled with this exact scenario, which in turn is screwing over yet another generation of females who are being set up with the same recipe for heartache and disaster that Sixteen Candles so generously left my generation. It’s a vicious cycle.

Now that I have come to this conclusion, I can actively work on trying to pick better dudes. Like guys that treat me well, who don’t pimp me out to people when I’m inebriated, and who actually can do pull-ups. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, but thus far this seems to be a pretty tall order.

And there you have it, my Jake Ryan theory.

You’re welcome.

Xoxo
Bradley

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by Nahp Suicide

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

This week, Pia Suicide tells us why she can get behind SG’s Ass Appreciation Group.

Members: 7,511 / Comments: 79,755

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I love it because I think the most beautiful part of a woman’s body is her ass, and also I love panties in cute colors, different designs, and soft fabrics

DISCUSSION TIP: Small ones, phat ones, man or lady ass, white, pink, chocolate, honey colored, covered in panties, covered by nothing, whipped cream, bite marks, or hand slaps.

MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: “I want assholes, dammit!” This is a really hot thread because there are really dirty pics and lots of different opinions.

BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “Panty Peeler!!! That’s the one!!”

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: EVERYONE who thinks asses are the best thing in the world.

[..]

by Tita

The Metro Toronto Convention Centre welcomed thousands of comic devotees, anime enthusiasts, gamers, and SuicideGirls fans for the 18th annual Fan Expo Comic-con last weekend.

The largest of it’s kind in Canada, and third largest convention in North America, fans swarmed downtown Toronto, and queued for hours in the shadow of the CN tower to attend the event.

A selection of Canada’s finest SuicideGirls including Vesta, Vana, Renna, and Vellin were on hand to meet them, and sign shop items, including our sexy SuicideGirls Comic series.

“I was at the SuicideGirls booth on Friday. The comic is awesome! Thanks again. SuicideGirls RULE!” – @LemmonJig

Self proclaimed geek Vana Suicide was the resident cosplay expert, picking out her faves each day, and chasing them down for pictures. “There are so many awesome costumes! I love it!”

Vellin Suicide got in on the dress up action, making her own Power Girl costume and wearing it on Saturday. Sunday she came dressed as BabyDoll from Sucker Punch and literally stopped traffic on our way to the event.

“Amazing meeting the SuicideGirls! Very cool, smart, beautiful girls who can probably kick my ass” – @coryhotline

The event’s energy reached a fevered pitch when comic legend Stan Lee blew out the candles on a huge Spider-Man cake to celebrate Spidey’s 50th anniversary. You could actually hear a pin drop as he bent over the cake. This was followed by a cacophony of voices and cheers when the sugary confection started to be handed out. It was just one of many exciting scenes that took place, over the course of the 4 day event.

Bob & Doug Mackenzie would be proud. After all “He saw Jedi 17 times, eh”

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Sassie

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I have this problem with my boyfriend. We have been together for over a year now, but last time he was here (I’m from Norway, he lives in the US), I was texting with one of my friends from his phone when a message popped up from one of his friends. I didn’t think anything of it so I looked at it, but on that text, she told him how much she missed him, and if he was coming back from “the bitch” soon. That got me curious, so I read some of the others. It turns out they have been texting about intimate stuff between them and about what a bitch/how horrible I am for months.

I really don’t know how to handle this because I really love him. And he doesn’t seem any different around me. He is as he always has been. So I’m wondering if he is just manipulating her, or if he means it. Either way, it’s unacceptable. Any idea how I can bring this up or what I should do?

A: I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that it is unacceptable. Regardless of his intentions, this is no way for anyone to behave. But I understand this must be very confusing for you. I will never understand why someone will put so much into a relationship, for example flying all the way from the US to Norway to see a person, just to talk shit about them behind their back. It really doesn’t make any sense. Another thing that I’m perturbed about is that he let you use his phone knowing that those messages were on there? He’s not even trying to cover his ass! Either he is just not very smart when it comes to cheating, or he wanted you to find out. Maybe he wasn’t man enough to break it off himself. I really don’t know.

If this other girl that was texting him truly was just a friend, he should be defending you when she called you a bitch. But you also said they were sharing intimate details, so do you think they are involved in a sexual relationship? I know long distance relationships can be hard, and cheating is probably more prevalent in them. I’m not saying this is an excuse for him, just saying it’s common unfortunately. He doesn’t seem any different around you because he is manipulating you. He wants the best of both worlds. He is probably manipulating this other girl in some way too, and is likely deliberately using his so-called “problems” with you to bond with her. She doesn’t seem to have much respect for herself in the first place if she is knowingly the “other woman”.

I know that you love him, but I only see a few options with this one. You could confront him, see what his side of the story is, and decide if that is acceptable enough for you to forgive him. But in my honest opinion, I really don’t see how there could be any acceptable reason for any of his actions. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. It’s hard to believe, but there are actually good guys out there that don’t cheat, and that will take care of you and worship the ground that you walk on. Why settle for this jerk? I say let him know that you found him out and end it. I wish you luck.

Sassie!

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com