by SG’s Team Agony feat. Bailey, Rashel, and Vanessa
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
Q: I recently got out of an abusive relationship and I feel like I still can’t escape it. I moved three states away when everything disintegrated. He broke up with me via text message, in the same apartment, no less. We had lived together for two and a half years, and he was my life. Things got rocky towards the end, but as I was sexually abused and made to feel like my feelings weren’t valid, I came to accept that this was my path.
It’s been four months now. As soon as I moved away it was like a lightbulb came on and I realized that I was one of “those people” who deny and deny the abuse to themselves. It took distance and a broken heart to realize what I had wasn’t a relationship. I don’t know what it was, but it was not a relationship.
I’m glad to say I’m now in a wonderful, healthy relationship with a great guy. He loves me for who I am, and he knows about how my ex treated me and understands my trust issues and reservations. I am head over heels in love with him, and have been focusing all my energy on myself, firstly, and secondly, our relationship. I wasn’t giving my ex a second thought, until tonight.
I found out that my ex has deleted and blocked me from all his social networking sites. This is something I was considering doing myself a few weeks ago but I couldn’t bring myself to click the right buttons. I feel like I’m back at square one. This has made the end more final to me. Why am I upset about this? It’s just Facebook and Twitter –– this shouldn’t bother me at all. Plus, I am ridiculously happy with the man I am with. I definitely don’t want anything to do with my ex. I guess I’m just not okay with him deleting me from his life in such a brusque way, but honestly I wouldn’t want him involved as a friend either.
I’m just struggling with a lot of conflicting emotions right now. Half of me, my sensible side, is telling me to get over it, and it’s better now that there are no more constant reminders of his presence. But my other half, my heart, is telling me to nurse my wounds. Asking myself why he wants to know nothing about my life, why it’s so easy for him to erase me from any associations. Am I so easy to discard?
I don’t really know what I’m asking for here, and I’ve never asked for advice like this before. I’m an internalizer for sure… I guess I’m just seeking some guidance or a helping hand. I’m struggling to understand my own reaction, and that unsettles me.
by Blogbot
Last week on Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter we asked you if you consider freckles to be a mark of beauty? Over 14,400 responses later, and the results are in…
by Blogbot
This Sunday (September 11th) our special in-studio guests will be singer/songwriter Daniel Ahearn, who’ll be premiering some brand new tracks on the show, and Alexia Rodriguez of the Arizona-based band Eyes Set To Kill, who have just released a new album, White Lotus.
Listen to SG Radio live Sunday night from 10 PM til Midnight on Indie1031.com
Got questions? Then dial our studio hotline digits this Sunday between 10 PM and midnight PST: 877-900-1031
Busy on Sunday? Then find all our podcasts at http://suicidegirlsradio.blip.tv/ and listen at your leisure.
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by Laurelin
I don’t like writing when I’m angry. I suppose there is technically something therapeutic about allowing the words to pour from your pen, furiously scribbled thoughts pressed hard into the paper rather than the controlled sentences I usually produce. I am never proud of what I write when I’m angry. I still do it every once in a while I guess; some things just need to be let out so they can be released and hopefully not felt anymore. I remember writing when my heart had been broken, when I was longing for something different, when I was so inspired by something beautiful or sad, but I do not write very often when I’m angry anymore.
When I was younger I was angry a lot. I was easily hurt and I wasn’t able to see the bigger picture. As I got older I developed a little more sense and realized that every little thing that happened would eventually pass. Each hurt that came to my life would make its mark, and each day after that it would hurt a little less, until one day it became just a memory. Some memories and aches are sharper than others, like remembering something terrible I said and didn’t mean makes me cringe, but you take it with a grain of salt. I learned to think before I speak, and that a heartfelt apology goes a long way.
Other memories, like songs, are different. There are some songs that invoke such powerful memories of certain places and people that when I close my eyes I can almost go back in time. I can smell, touch, hear certain things, some happy, some impossibly sad. When I hear “Hey, Jupiter” by Tori Amos I am 14 years old in a bed and breakfast in Stratford, England. I smell lavender on my pillow and in the sheets every time I move as I drift off to sleep. It was my last family vacation before my younger brother got really sick and the whole family was out, it was just me in this beautiful place. Lavender and Tori Amos always make me smile.
by Blogbot
Artist / SG Member Name: Jenn Lloyd / Hotcurry
Mission Statement: I seek to celebrate beauty in all its forms with bold design and a touch of whimsy.
Medium: Acrylic on canvas.
Aesthetic: Vector art minus the computer. I work by hand to create lines and shapes that represent images. I lack a basic understanding of most things technical. While amazed at the designs artists were coming up with via Photoshop, I worked the only way I knew how –– old school. Everything I make is done with pencil, pen or paint, and remains untouched by computers.
by Blogbot
A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.
This week, Haydin Suicide takes us for a spin around SG’s Ballet Group.
Members: 317 / Comments: 776