by SG’s Team Agony feat. Casca and Leandra
Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.
[Casca in Professor]
Q. I was with my school sweetheart for 11 years and was married for 6 of those 11 years. I worked hard to give her the world till one day I found out she had been cheating on me. We tried to give it a second try. Because we got married on Halloween, I paid for us to go to Euro Disney, but thing’s after we came back got even worse, to the point that now our marriage has ended. I still love and want her in my life, but I’m just an old romantic at heart. Friend’s say that I will find someone special again but I don’t know? I’m a tattooed English guy who feels lost in the world we live in!
A: Hiya hun! I’d like to start by saying that I can relate to what you are going through. I started seeing my partner in my first year of college and we have had more than our fare share of ups and downs.
Leaving school and starting college can be a very emotionally draining time. It therefore a common that the passion filled relationships we had with our childhood sweethearts tend to change or fizzle out around this time in our lives. There is nothing wrong with adapting and trying to make it work, but there is also nothing wrong with knowing it is time to call it a day. It seems like you have tried very hard to make the relationship work, and that’s great, but it sounds like there were some trust issues going on and that can ultimately kill a relationship.
It can be hard to move on from your first love, but it can be done. You will find someone else in the future and part of the fun in is finding that person. You will never forget this person, and you don’t even have to get over her; the key is to learn from that relationship and pour all the good stuff into a new one. Your friends are right, there are plenty of other women out there, and you will never know if one of them is that special someone until you try.
Good luck and all the best!
Casca
XOX
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[Leandra in Verdugo]
Q. Hey Suicide Girls, I’ve been having problems with a girl I have know since her birth. We lost contact in 1999. She called me out of the blue in 2006 and we have been best friends since. We fell in love a couple months back, but she told me she doesn’t want to date me right now. I didn’t think this was fair.
I have trouble making friends in the first place, let alone trying to pick-up a girl. I was looking online at people in my area to make some friends with and a girl’s profile got my attention. She liked horror and does horror make-up for a job. How cool is that? Turns out though that my friend went to high school with her and told me not to talk to her. We got into a fight. We talked most of it out, but she left things out there.
The next day she calls and asks if I would pick her up to bring her down to my house for a few days. Her family was looking to kick her out since she hasn’t done anything since she got out of high school earlier this year. Well, I helped her out. I didn’t bring up anything about the fight or what her family was saying. I’m 30, and, to be honest, I’m with them on this. The problem is, after helping her out and dropping her off, she won’t stay on the phone for more then 5 minutes with me now.
What do I take this as? And should I continue with the other girl and ask her out being that she is 18?
A: I’m going to be brutally honest, I don’t think you can be too much into this girl because you are looking elsewhere, and someone else has caught your eye. She has said she doesn’t want to date you, and that would be enough for me to consider it over and done with as far as a relationship is concerned. Her asking for help, and then not being particularly grateful, also indicates she was just using you rather than looking to start up anything. Furthermore, you sound like you have already had enough of this, so I would let the girl and the situation go.
As for the other girl, I don’t think age really matters –– it depends on the maturity of the people involved. Most of my more intense relationships have been with older men. The problem is, how do you approach someone you don’t know? I would tread carefully, you don’t want to come across creepy in any way or scare her off. Just start with casual conversation and see if you guys could have something going on between you.
Good luck and thanks for writing in!
Leandra
xxx
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Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com