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May 2011 10

by Blogbot

Agonizing Love is a beautifully put together compendium of strips culled from the lost genre of romance comics. According to the volume’s curator and author, Michael Barson, an avid fan of retro-pop culture and a collector of all manner of flotsam and jetsam from days past, the first examples of the form were published in 1947. At the genre’s height, there were close to 150 different romance comics in print, with titles such as Lovelorn, Romantic Marriage, Lovers’ Lane, Bride’s Secrets, Boy Meets Girl, Heart Throbs, and Love Confessions. However, as the romance of the 1950s gave way to the pervasive climate of free love in the ’60s and ’70s, their popularity waned. The end of an era came with the final 126th edition of Young Love in 1977.

Below is a typical strip from Vol 2, #2 of Young Love (originally published in April 1950), which offers female readers – who were ever fearful of being left on the shelf – tips on how to up their popularity quotient in order to increase their dateability.



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May 2011 09

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Charley, Fabrizia, and Morgan

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Charley in Of Yesteryear ]

Q: I met a wonderful woman and love her very much. But, at the time of our meeting and for the first few years of our relationship, I was dealing with feelings of worthlessness, which led to a type of sexual addiction. I realize now because of all the sex addiction reality shows. I basically kept seeking sexual conquests to prove my own self worth. Never really realizing sex didn’t make you valuable to anyone. I wasn’t loyal. And she caught me in video chat mutual masturbation with an ex-girl friend during her pregnancy.

A year ago she decided to end our engagement and take our now 2-year old son, using the sins of my past, 4 years earlier as an excuse. She did this while I was in hospital suffering a Multiple Sclerosis exacerbation and using the last of my savings to keep our apartment. This caused a lot of ill will with my family.

We agreed on joint custody, 3.5 days each, and entered a purely sexual relationship. After nine months of this arrangement and being told over and over again that I should find someone, I did. When she found out she became enraged, and during a drunken night of sex she called the new girl and had her listen to us having sex, ending the new relationship. She claimed that I betrayed her again, although for 9 months she had told me to pursue other women. When I mentioned this, her response was that we were still having sex. Yes, but she was telling me to pursue a real relationship with someone else at the same time.

We continued to have sex on days when our son was with his grandparents, and purchased several sex toys and videos for our entertainment. I am on permanent Social Security Disability, so these purchases where a slight economic burden, but I wanted to maintain some relationship with her. I still really do love her, and I wish I had been able to see my problems before we met. I blame myself for what happened. I want to know if I should still pursue relations with her in hopes that we will reconcile – or if this is a fool’s dream?

Our son is almost 3 now, and I don’t want him to be the silent victim of his messed up parents.

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May 2011 02

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Smythe and Aadie

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Smythe in There Is A Light]

Q: I’m 18 and a female. I’m lesbian and I’m extremely shy. In the town I live there aren’t many lesbians or anything like that. My problem is, I don’t know how to find out whether a girl I like is lesbian, or even how to find lesbians anywhere around here. How can you tell (without making a complete ass out of myself) whether a girl is lesbian? And if I finally work up the courage to go to a lesbian bar in a different city, how do you approach other lesbians?

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Apr 2011 28

by Laurelin

Heartbreak. It happens to everyone, and people deal with it in different ways. I remember the first time I ever felt it, the impossible sadness and emptiness that just washes over your body in a wave when someone decides they don’t want you anymore. I was in high school, having dinner with my family and the phone rang. He always called around that time. We talked for hours every night. That night was different.

“You didn’t see this coming?” He asked. “L, school’s over. I want to be free for the summer.” I hung up the phone, wanting to scream and cry, throw the phone through the window…but I stayed silent. I swallowed it all, and in that moment I decided that that’s how I would get by. I walked calmly back to the dinner table, smiled and carried on. My parents never even knew anything was wrong. Inside, I was crushed and angry, outside, I was calm, cool and collected.

I didn’t date anyone else for two years, but eventually high school ended and college was a new start. I met someone, and it was a fairy tale. I still consider myself lucky to have known anything like that. It ended well enough, looking back, but it took me another solid two years to get passed that one as well. After we agreed to call it quits I just wanted to give up. It couldn’t be over, but it was, and it was next to impossible to move on. But, after college, just as before, I did move on. The next guy and I dated on and off for a few years as well. He was different then the rest. He was a bit controlling, but I was all too ready to accept the roll of housewife after spending the last few years drinking my face off in dark bars. I didn’t go out, just came home after work, crawled into bed, and loved him with everything I had. My friends didn’t trust him; I thought they were crazy.

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Apr 2011 25

By SG’s Team Agony feat. Noir

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Noir in Laziest Days]

Q: I have been married for almost four years now. I love my wife very much, but there is very little excitement in our marriage. At first I thought it was me, but no matter how much I try it doesn’t seem to change. Divorce seems to be the last thing on my mind. There are strip clubs that I think about going to, but have yet to make the trip.

There is also my sister-in-law. She is younger and smaller. Not saying my wife is fat, she is far from it, but my sister-in-law is just tiny. She is very flirty. Before my wife and I got married, her sister and I got really flirty. It eventually lead to phone sex. Since then we have talked about hooking up, but the last conversation ended with the “you’re my sister’s husband” excuse. Since then she’s been helping out at my house with my kids and all. She sometimes wears little or loose clothing, and I can always see her breasts without even trying. They seem to pop out of her shirt. They are small and perky. One time she even wore a thong in the house with no pants.

I don’t know if she’s just clueless and has moved on, or if she’s flirting with me. I sometimes want to ask her, but then think if she moved on it could cause a big stink. Should I take a chance at excitement? And, if do, should it be a one time thing, or every so often? Or should I count my blessings and thank god we didn’t get caught in the past and move on?

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Apr 2011 18

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Squee

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Squee in Philosophy]

Q: I’m in a bind. I’ve been with this girl for about 3 years now, living together for around half of that, and we’re in our mid-twenties. The only thing unusual about that part is she moved across the country after graduating college to live with me.

So here we are, things are OK, pretty mediocre really. No major fights, but nothing really worthwhile either. You know the saying “shit or get off the pot”? Well, I’ve decided to get off the pot because there’s nothing coming out. Despite nothing bad going on, I can’t see myself marrying her, I can’t see myself having a family with her, I can’t see a future with her. To be perfectly honest, I’m looking forward to some time to myself.

I feel like shit for wasting her time, and I know it’s going to hurt her too. Is there any way to make this easier, or am I going to have to mix metaphors and just rip this band-aid off?

Thanks,
Wasting Time in Denver

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Apr 2011 14

by Laurelin

When I first came up with the idea for this column, the name “Life Beyond the Bar Scene” just seemed perfect. The life I lead is so immersed in the service industry that I really can’t see past it right now; everyone I know in Boston I met at a bar. Literally, everyone. Everywhere I turn, it’s bartenders, servers, bouncers, barbacks, nightlife, my life. It wasn’t always this way.

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