by Keith Daniels
Remember when you were a straight kid in college, and how you felt like the whole world was designed for somebody else? You almost felt like you were an alien from another planet. Everyone around you was talking about and having experiences that you had no part in. Worse yet, if you ever expressed your feelings of attraction towards the opposite gender, or were even suspected of having them, someone would call you “BREEDER!” and shove you into a locker. You had to worry, “What would my dorm mate think if he finds out I want to fuck women?” You certainly didn’t get invited to the frat parties where all the popular guys would get drunk and blow each other. So you hid your shame and waited for the day that your heterosexuality might be accepted.
Well, that day is coming, and it’s starting in Texas.
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by A.J. Focht
Is it any wonder that there is a group of film lovers out to send M. Night Shyamalan back to film school? After going from two Oscar nomination for The Sixth Sense in 1999 to winning five Razzies (which are awarded for the worst achievements in filmmaking) this last year for The Last Airbender, it’s easy to see why film buffs are raising money to send Shyamalan back to NYU. After they have raised the funds, they plan on filming the occasion as they present Shyamalan with a check. If he refuses to take it, they will use the money to start a film scholarship at NYU in his name.
However, Shyamalan isn’t the only multiple offender to be found guilty of making mediocre movies. Hollywood is overflowing with shitty directors who keep serving up the same crap, or worse regressing artistically with each successive release. There are several big name directors who desperately need a lesson in the basics. I therefore propose that all of the following head to NYU with Shyamalan.
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by Aaron Detroit
“You can protest all day, but you gotta go drinking at night.”
– Al Jourgensen
Al Jourgensen has just released the last chapter in the annals of his nearly three decade-long career as the self-professed maniac behind industrial godfathers Ministry. It’s appropriately titled The Last Sucker and also serves as the final piece in Ministrys trilogy of albums attacking the Bush Administration and the United States current political system. Al is also throwing one last party, in the shape of a world tour and a party album of covers, before he splits to allow fans a chance to say goodbye and dance with him on Ministry’s grave.
[..]
Lalou Suicide in Incandescence
- INTO: Animal rights, activism, dressmaking, designing, pole dancing, cooking and baking, kissing girls.
- NOT INTO: Waiting, strangers trying to make random conversation (but on SG I love it), nosiness (but on SG I love it), losing stuff (objects, not competitions), being tired, being hungry, losing my appetite.
- MAKES ME HAPPY: Seeing my man, people enjoying my food, talking to and seeing my mom, being a friend, wearing the clothes I make, and nookie!!!!!
- MAKES ME SAD: Being helpless, missing my man, and no nookie 🙁
- HOBBIES: Cooking and baking like a whore, dressmaking, being the perfect trophy wife for Mr BoerPunk.
- 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: SG, Facebook, email, the internet, my sunglasses, eyeliner, my friends, my sewing machine, the kitchen and everything in it, my man!!!!
- VICES: What’s a vice? No really, I don’t know what a vice is.
- I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Doing all the above-mentioned things, and poking around in the Member Revue queue.
Get to know Lalou better over at SuicideGirls.com!
