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Aug 2012 02

by Daniel Robert Epstein

“To go from being a waiter to making a film with my best mates is just amazing.”
– Nick Frost

Due to the success of Shaun of the Dead, co-stars Nick Frost and Simon Pegg are now international movie stars. The DVD has recently been released in America and it’’s loaded with cool extras like audio commentary, casting tapes, Simon Pegg’s video diary and Edgar & Simon’s pitch to the studio. I got a chance to talk to both Pegg and Frost in New York City.

Read our exclusive interview with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost on SuicideGirls.com.

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Aug 2012 02

Lawita Suicide in Light In Your Eyes

  • INTO: Happiness, art, love, party, animals, vegan food.
  • MAKES ME HAPPY: Vegan food, necking, going out, sleeping, playing videogames, smoking pot, rain, sunshine.

Get to know Lawita better over at SuicideGirls.com!


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Aug 2012 01

by Callioppe


[Callioppe in Sun Drips]

The Pax by Ploom is my favorite new way to, “smoke.” It is a loose-leaf vaporizer that is small enough to fit in your pocket. Powered by an internal lithium ion battery the device is butane free and holds an impressively long charge. I would guess you could get about 8 – 10 smoke sessions per hour long charging. The vaporizer heats up really fast, it was ready for use in about 30 seconds. The Pax has three adjustable heat settings and at the highest setting the device delivers the most full-bodied vapor hits I have ever gotten from a portable Vaporizer.

The Pax is also completely silent and virtually odorless which makes using it outside a movie theater or in a park fell pretty safe. Another really stand out feature of the Pax is it’s long, shallow herb chamber which makes the device very easy to fill and clean out between sessions.

I have smoked out of a couple different vaporizers in the past and have always felt a bit disappointed. Some of the things I enjoy the most about smoking are the texture of a joint in on my fingertips, the feel of it on my lips, and most importantly the way my lungs fill up with rich velvety smoke that escapes from my nostrils and mouth.

Before the Pax I had tried vaporizers with awkward hoses, noisy dispositions and cumbersome bags, all for tiny puffs of vapor that left me feeling frustrated, disenchanted and no where near high. Of all of the vaporizers I have tried the Pax delivers the fullest, richest, most smoke like hits of vapor. The Pax is simple to use, clean and charge. Modern, discrete, and beautiful with its cigar like shape and amazing build quality the device has the simplicity, fit and finish of an Apple product.

The bottom line is this is the best portable vaporizer I’ve ever used, and probably stands up against the very best non portable models as well. If you are considering a vaporizer, this is the one we at SG recommend you buy.

For more information visit: ploom.com/pax or vapeworld.com.

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Aug 2012 01

by The Wine Guy

Real men drink Rose (pronounced rowzay). Why is that? A real man is not afraid to have his sexuality questioned because of what he drinks. Gay, straight, bi, good wine is good wine. And what the average person may not know is that most of the best ones are not sweet. In fact, the vast majority are dry to bone dry. We are not talking about White Zin here, and if that’s what you are drinking, please stop, immediately.

Rose is made from 100 percent red grapes most of the time, but there are some that have white grapes blended in. So why is the Rose pink instead of red? Because the maceration period is reduced, meaning the skin is left in contact with the pressed grape juice for a much shorter period. A rule of thumb being, the lighter the color, the shorter the maceration.

Maceration gives the wine both its color and tannins. The grape used also plays a huge part in the wine’s hue. A Rose made from Cabernet Sauvignon will tend to be darker and have a fuller body than one made from Pinot Noir, just like the red wines themselves. While I personally like my Rose to be made from Pinot or Syrah, I have found Roses made from many different grapes that I have truly enjoyed.

When a Rose is made correctly, the result is a wine that is neither red nor white, and that is what makes Rose so special. There’s just nothing like them, and they come in a surprising amount of styles. If you have never had the pleasure of sitting outside on a warm summer day, drinking a crisp, elegant Rose, then you should make that happen as soon as possible. While France remains the unquestioned King of Rose, there are plenty of good domestic ones, with more being made daily as the wine’s popularity increases.

As a wine seller, if I had a dollar for every time I suggested a Rose to a man, and he looked at me like I was from outer space before saying something like, “I don’t think so,” then I would be rich. Are you really so insecure that you can’t drink pink? Or do you feel uneasy already just by virtue of the fact you’re drinking wine to begin with?

A bone dry Rose Bandol (an AOC or Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée wine from Provence) on a hot summer afternoon can taste like fucking magic. We’re talking about a crisp, lean, and very refreshing wine. A Rose can take the best qualities of white and red and combine them to perfection. When learning about wine, the first thing you have to learn often is that your assumptions are wrong. Thus Rose is commonly and unquestioningly assumed to be sweet, but, as I mentioned, they can be some of the driest wines made in fact.

The other spectacular thing about Rose is that because so many people are so resistant to them, they are undervalued. You can get a high quality Rose for $15 dollars, and if you spend double that you should get something spectacular. For example, a Montrachet Rose made from some of the finest Pinot Noir grapes in the world can cost you less than $25, whereas its red equivalent will be at least double that. It’s even more of a good deal when you take into account that Rose, for the most part, is meant to be drunk young, so it’s easy to buy and enjoy the wine at its peak, which is always a huge plus.

However, the best Rose comes in the sparkling fashion, both from Champagne and other bubbly producing areas. These are some of the most delicate, balanced, and exquisite wines you will ever encounter. There is a reason that the Dom Perignon Rose is four times the price of its brut counterpart.

Last year the best wine I had all year long, (and I had a shit ton of wine) was the Charles Heidseck Brut Reserve Rose. It was absolutely incredible. This baby was light on the palette, but explosive in flavor and incredibly long with new twists and turns with each sip. The bubbles were tiny, and shot up the glass as if coming from a fish tank treasure chest – all for around $70, which in Champagne terms is an absolute steal. That said, you could find a sparkling Cremant for around $20 (or less!) that will make you rethink all your future sparkling choices because of how good it is.

Now that I have you ready and raring to go Rose, lets talk about what you should look for. As mentioned earlier, France is a great place to start. Want to save some money, buy some from the Languedoc, France’s largest wine producing region. Many bargain Roses hail from that area. Want to get a fancier bottle? Provence is almost always a safe bet. Want to go for the gold? Then Bandol is the way to go. I’ve never had a bad Bandol, not even once. Spain is a lovely place for Rose as well. You can find some very affordable Rioja Roses for under $20.

Want a reasonably priced sparkling Rose? Try one from Alsace, or Bourgone, as they tend to be cheaper than their Champagne counterparts. When buying a domestic Rose, I always try to go local. There are some bigger wineries that make decent Rose but a lot of times they will be sweet or mediocre. The local winery typically makes the Rose for the season, and it is a labor of love so you get a higher quality. Look for the case production on the back of the bottle or on the internet. If it is under a thousand give it a shot, if it is over ten thousand give it a pass. The bottom line is, next time you are wine shopping and you can’t decide between red or white because it’s too hot outside or because the food you’re going to be eating your wine selection with is too light for a red but a little too strong for most whites, buy a Rose!

***

The Wine Guy sells wine for a living, and lives to drink it. It’s his first and foremost passion. He avoids factory wines, loves to seek out bottles that are interesting and unique, and gets excited when he finds a grape he’s have never heard of.

Related Posts
Drink Better: One Man’s Plea To Raise The Bar On Booze For Every Occasion

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Aug 2012 01

by Steven Whitney

A few weeks ago, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives in Michigan sought to force into law some of the most restrictive anti-choice legislation in our country – placing onerous regulations on abortion providers and banning all abortions after 20 weeks.

Rep. Lisa Brown objected on religious grounds, arguing that her Jewish faith allowed for therapeutic abortions when the mother’s life is in danger, without regard to the length of pregnancy. And, during a heated debate on women’s reproductive health, she actually uttered the word “vagina.”

The reaction was swift – Republicans were so shocked by the word that Brown was banned from speaking on the floor for “violating the decorum of the House.”

“What she said was offensive,” said Republican Mike Callton. “It was so disgusting, so vile, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

In the next day’s Detroit Free Press, Brown retorted: “If they are going to legislate my anatomy, I see no reason why I can’t mention it. After all, it is the medically correct term.”

If I were a woman I’d ask myself how anyone who thinks the word vagina is “vile and disgusting” could cast an unbiased vote on issues relating to women’s health care. But I’m not, and since these squeamish Republicans seem caught in a Peter Pan syndrome that forbids them from ever growing up, they need help in finding a word sufficiently acceptable for – well, you know – that thing…down there. Otherwise, the ages old Battle between the Sexes might just become a full-blown GOP War on Women.

Obviously, the c-word isn’t suitable. First of all, Republicans believe the c-word is compromise and, secondly, if vagina offends them, the actual c-word would give these pussies cardiac arrest.

Browsing through several online and hard copy thesauruses, there are literally hundreds (perhaps thousands) of street synonyms listed for vagina, some complimentary – slang like sugar, honey pot, sweet spot, tunnel of love – and others too vulgar to print in a family column. Some are neither naughty nor nice, but none really fill the bill, especially considering the unwanted trans-vaginal ultrasounds the GOP intends to force on women who want abortions – calling them trans-poontang scans would be a hard sell.

There’s less good news in the second most spoken language in America. The Spanish word for vagina is…la vagina. The same damn word, with the added insult of a feminine article preceding it. Feminine words in the esteemed halls of Congress – you must be kidding.

Of course, there are hundreds of Spanish street expressions, but just like in English there are none that fit every woman. While I can indeed envision Sarah Palin referring to her chocha, especially during one of those wild voodoo dance ceremonies which exorcises demons, I cannot see the more distinguished Senator Olympia Snowe calling hers a hoo-hoo.

So synonyms in either language fall short of our goal.

What if we used a symbolic representation – perhaps… a flower? Certainly not a Venus Fly Trap – Republicans are already too scared to even say the v-word, much less picture themselves devoured by it. We need something less threatening – say, an American Rose. It’s beautiful and opens wide in the morning sun. What more could any Republican want? But alas, a rose by any other name is still a rose. So that’s a wash.

Something from the internet? How about a yahoo? No, that’s what most Republicans shout when they finally get into a vagina…with the noted exception of the K Street mob. Or google? Sorry, but that would inalterably change the whole meaning of “googling” someone before a first date.

Maybe the art world has the answer. Like calling it an O’Keefe – or perhaps just a Georgia – as tribute to the woman who painted so much flora resembling the object of our attention. Then again, when Republicans actually look at her work, they find it “disturbing.”

A Picasso might be good, but he lived in France too long and we know the GOP considers all things French to be tres vulgaire. A Klimt sounds almost right – not many Republicans know what a real Klimt is anyway. Unfortunately, he was Viennese and the GOP probably wants its v-word moniker to sound American. Besides, another Viennese – Sigmund Freud – messed up their heads with all that dirty sex stuff when they were kids.

Since none of these suffice, perhaps the best possible solution is to rename the vagina after an esteemed servant of the people – like calling a hundred dollar bill a Benji because Benjamin Franklin’s picture adorns it.

Wait a second, I think we’re onto something…I’ve got it! A true eureka moment!

Eric Cantor!!

His last name is short and flexible and he’s undoubtedly the biggest actual c-word in Congressional history. Republicans everywhere could now speak openly about a woman’s cantor, even their infections (cantoritis) or cantoral discharges without fear of – as Rick Santorum would say – throwing up all over themselves in abject disgust. And, you have to admit, even trans-cantoral ultrasounds has a certain je ne sais quoi ring to it.

Eric Cantor himself should be proud. Examining his record and agenda, it’s clear that he has long aimed to become the public face of the c-word…and now it’s within his grasp. And how could any other Republican object? More than half the people on earth have one of these things and now it’s going to be rebranded as a cantor, in honor of one of their own.

It’s the perfect vagina solution.

Related Posts:
Fighting Back Part 4: The Big Liar, Intimidation And Revenge
Fighting Back Part 3: Fighting Fire With Fire
When The Past Is Prologue
Fighting Back Part 2: Defining Rovian Politics
Fighting Back
The Electoral Scam
Being Fair
Occupy Reality
Giving. . . And Taking Back
A Tale Of Two Grovers
A Last Pitch For Truth
America: Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
Gotcha!

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Aug 2012 01

by Daniel Robert Epstein

“Although I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I still feel that drugs should be legalized.”
– Greg Behrendt

Comedian Greg Behrendt has had a banner year. His book with Liz Tuccillo, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, has sold almost 2 million copies, his standup act is popular enough to sell out large venues and the sitcom he worked on, Committed, is doing well. Behrendt kickstarted his career working with Un-Cabaret, honing his unique voice through standup.

Read our exclusive interview with Greg Behrendt on SuicideGirls.com.

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Aug 2012 01

Waikiki Suicide in Right There

  • INTO: Photography, art, music, traveling, pole dancing, squatting empty buildings, and laughing ‘til I cry.
  • NOT INTO: Being steady in a place, city or country.
  • MAKES ME HAPPY: Martinis, parties, traveling, open-minded folk, sun, the beach, dogs and warm people – I need ’em in my life!
  • MAKES ME SAD: Empty conversations, wannabe-nevergonnabe people, noisy people, respectless mothafuckers, vivisection, civil war, poverty, the zoo, losing people I love!
  • HOBBIES: Rehab.
  • 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My camera, my vynals, cigarettes, coffee, a bottle of water.
  • VICES: Listening to loud music when I’ve just awoken, never being on time to appointments.
  • I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: At concerts, and around my friends with a Corona in my hand.

Get to know Waikiki better over at SuicideGirls.com!