by SG’s Team Agony feat. Jaeci

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I have fallen in love with my best guy friend. When it started, I didn’t even realize it since I was with my ex-boyfriend. I broke up with the ex five months ago after being with him for over two years because he made me feel bad about myself and guilty for all the things that went wrong in our relationship. He didn’t even take care of me when I started to get drunk on my 21st birthday! Instead, my best friend did, while the ex got drunk and more upset that he didn’t step up. It only took me the weekend to get over him because I fell out of love with him six months before.

Thank you for your time. I love you girls!

A: The short answer: You are going to bring your own sleeping bag or blankets and you are not going to insist on spooning him. It shouldn’t matter that the friends you are going with are a couple –– there are two of you, platonic or romantic, so no one is a third wheel. You’ll have a great time. If something happens, so be it. If not –– c’est la vie.

The long answer: When he apologized for trying to be with you then cutting it short for friendship’s sake, did he say he was sorry because he didn’t want to be with you in the first place/led you on, or did he say he was sorry because he was too concerned about the preservation of your friendship to stay with you? Did he give you any indication of his motivation?

Sometimes, best friends precisely the people you can’t date, even if they seem like exactly who you wish you could. One of my best gals tried dating her bff. They had a magical connection at first because of how intense their relationship had always been, how close they feel, how much they have been through, how he knows her inside and out. The sex was apparently awesome. But, despite everything, she too was friend-zoned. They ultimately parted ways, albeit after much more of a lengthy and heart-wrenching game.

Reality bites, eh.

When someone says, “You’re in my friend zone” for them it generally means, uh, “You’re in my friend zone.” It usually doesn’t mean, “I’m secretly in love with you –– no, really!” Strong feelings of any kind are easy to get lost in. Everything seems more intense when you love someone –– even if you aren’t in love with them. You can definitely mistake platonic love and a surprising, but probably fleeting, physical attraction for “OH MY GOD WEDDING BELLLLSSSS!” Maybe he felt a little spark, you showed you wanted him, it seemed like a great idea until it was totally not a great idea. Also, not everyone associates sex with love and the physical connection you may have had in that month you were together does not necessarily have anything to do with romantic affection.

Please be careful not to project your feelings onto him. It’s easy to see only what you want to see. To me, it sounds a lot like he cares, and not so much like he wants to be with you. Don’t get crushed by deciding you ought to be together when it isn’t what both people want.

If there’s no click this weekend – and don’t spend the whole camping trip waiting for it, wanting it, expecting it, or asking for it – set your sights elsewhere and put him back in the friend zone he has for so long inhabited. Don’t set yourself up for heartbreak. There are plenty of people out there who would love you to be in their girlfriend zone and he can, hopefully, go back to being the best buddy that he was before.

Xx

Auntie Jaeci

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Daniel Robert Epstein

“I need to find a way to balance between commercial action films and making something I really want to make.” – Jet Li

I didn’’t expect Jet Li to hardly speak any English when I met him. It turns out that he spends hours learning to speak his lines in American movies in order for them to sound natural. But that didn’’t stop me from having a great conversation with the man. He’’s so intense in his movies but in person he was jolly and it was a real pleasure to make a DMX joke and have a smile break across his face.

I got a chance to talk with Jet Li about his movie Hero which is finally getting a release from Miramax in the United States, upcoming projects and kicking ass and taking names.

Read our interview with Jet Li on SuicideGirls.com.

Casiopea Suicide in Ray of Sun

• INTO: Books, high heels, dance, great music, good friends, pets, fruits, chocolate, work, modeling, travel, fairy tales and happy endings.
• NOT INTO: Violence of any kind!
• MAKES ME HAPPY: My friends, a good book, my mommy, my kitties, great music, my family, movies, latex, chocolate, good sex, hot and sunny days, my home, travel.
• MAKES ME SAD: Rainy and cold days, liars, cheaters.
• HOBBIES: Reading.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My family, music, books, phone, and internet.
• VICES: I´m a total shopaholic.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Reading.

Get to know Casiopea better over at SuicideGirls.com!

Ramonne Suicide in Loves Nico

• INTO: Art and steal souls.
• NOT INTO: Drugs…
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Beer, friends, sleeping, rainy days, whiskey, cigarettes, kisses, hugs, being loved, music, surprises, gifts, bothering people 🙂
• MAKES ME SAD: Not being loved, infidelity, animal abuse, lies.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: You, Coca Cola, music, sex, internet.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Studying and thinking of you ;).

Get to know Ramonne better over at SuicideGirls.com!

by @NicolePowers and @VizFoSho

October 19 was a momentous night in the Twitterverse. We were having some after-hours lulz involving over nine thousand #tittysprinkles, when all of a sudden our favorite Twitter play thing, the @DBZNappa bot came to life. It was a miraculous moment; synapses and circuits were blown. Our sugar-titted tweets had caused the automated entity inspired by the Japanese manga series Dragon Ball Z to break character.

For the uninitiated, @DBZNappa, in homage to dialog from a legendary Dragon Ball Z episode, is programmed to respond to mentions of “over 9000” or “over nine thousand” on Twitter with the obligatory reply: “WHAT, NINE THOUSAND?!” However, when SG was iron trolling his ass, he responded with an “I love you girls.”

Seizing the opportunity, we asked the temporarily lucid autoresponder if we could honor his master with an SG membership. Thus we tracked down DBZNappa’s elusive Dr. Frankenstein, Daniel Lo Nigro from Melbourne, Australia. We had oodles of questions for him – well over 9000. Here he answers just 15 of them:

SuicideGirls: What’s your favorite episode of DBZ?

Daniel Lo Nigro: To be honest, I didn’t really watch a lot of DBZ. I used to watch it but not really pay attention (I’d have it on TV in the background, while doing other things). Obviously, the “Over 9000” episode segment is a favorite of mine 😛

SG: What inspired you to code the bot?

DLN: Some of my friends had a habit of saying “Over nine thousand” a lot, and so I started replying with “What? Nine thousand?” (Yeah, I was a bit lame.) They suggested creating a Twitter bot to do the same thing. I loved the idea and started working on it right away. I didn’t think that it’d get as popular as it did!

SG: What did you study? What do you do now to pay the rent?

DLN: I studied software development at university. I graduated last year and I’ve been working full-time as a web developer since then.

SG: How long have you been coding?

DLN: I’ve been coding since I was 8 or 9 years old. Even before then, I had an interest in computers and computer games. My uncle introduced me to computer programming and showed me how to do a few things on the computer. Together we made a little Tamagotchi game (much like the handheld Tamagotchi) and my interest for programming grew from there. I was mainly self-taught and “learnt by doing” (that is, giving myself projects to learn new things). When I got an internet connection for the first time (dialup!), I spent ages browsing the internet. It was amazing. I was interested in how web pages were made, so I got a copy of FrontPage and messed around with it. I started to realize that I really liked creating websites, and decided to focus on web programming. At high school I met other people with similar interests, and spent more time learning about programming. This helped pique my interest even more.

SG: What’s your favorite language?

DLN: Definitely C#. It’s is my language of choice because it’s a very powerful, clean, clear and concise language. Microsoft’s developer tools and languages are generally very good, and they keep adding very helpful features in every new release. JavaScript is my second favorite language; in the last few years I’ve been learning it more. You need to know it well to truly appreciate it. In the end though, all programming languages are pretty similar to each other. They’re just tools that help you build awesome things, and it doesn’t matter which one you use as long as you know how to use it well 🙂

SG: Do you have any other bots on Twitter?

DLN: No. I’ve considered it, but haven’t had any good ideas

SG: Hypothetically, would you make an SG #TittySprinkles bot. And, if so, how could you see it working?

DLN: I could totally see myself doing that! I can if you like. I have no idea how it would work or what it would do though. What do you think a #TittySprinkles bot would do? Haha

SG: Chocolate or vanilla?

DLN: That’s a tough one! They’re both good. I think a mix of both is best – then you get the best of both worlds 🙂

SG: What other anime do you watch?

DLN: I don’t really watch anime any more. I used to watch Speed Racer, Cowboy Bebop, Naruto, Death Note, Bleach, and Inu Yasha. I’m sure there’s others that I can’t remember at the moment though, haha.

SG: Do you have a favorite SG?

DLN: I only got a subscription recently and haven’t had a chance to explore much yet. Having said that, Quinne is definitely one of my favorites. I think she’s really cute (but most Suicide Girls are). There’s just something about her that makes me like her. Bob is one of my favorites as well 🙂

SG: How much time do you spend on Twitter?

DLN: I used to spend a long time on Twitter, but nowhere near as much any more. I use it mainly when commuting to work since I catch public transport.

SG: Would do you follow and why?

DLN: Being a developer, the people I follow are mainly web developers and people that are very influential in the web development industry, mainly for inspiration and to learn about new development techniques and resources. I also use Twitter as a way to get news quickly, as stuff pops up on Twitter quicker than it does on news sites. Of course, I also use it to keep up-to-date with what my friends are doing. And @SuicideGirls of course!

SG: Any other bots you admire?

DLN: I love @CapsCop. It replies to people that tweet entirely in uppercase. @KingLeonidaz_ is somewhat similar to DBZNappa. There was also @AnnoyingNavi – but it’s been suspended by Twitter. Twitter don’t seem to like auto-reply bots and a lot of them end up suspended by Twitter. Not too sure how @DBZNappa has survived. I guess I’m just lucky?

SG: How would you improve Twitter?

DLN: Honestly, I don’t know. I think it’s pretty good as it is now.

SG: What else are you working on now?

DLN: No personal projects at the moment. I used to work on random projects (half of which I’d never finish), but recently I haven’t had much time or many good ideas. So now I’m just doing my day job 🙂

If readers have questions about @DBZNappa, Daniel will be happy to answer them in the blog comments below. For more from Daniel, read his blog and follow @Daniel15.

by Joanne Stocker, Kenneth Lipp and Dustin Slaughter

The baseball field behind Egbert Middle School is pitch black as our journalist team, led by Liam (who prefers his last name not be used), a Staten Island resident who swam flood waters to rescue neighbors as the nearby ocean swallowed his community, walk down an unlit street strewn with the detritus of Hurricane Sandy’s watery rage. Liam wants to show us what the neighborhood has been abuzz over: the site of what was a makeshift morgue, in the hopes that we might challenge what many here in Midland Beach see as an official orchestrated attempt to downplay Sandy’s death toll.

Midland Beach, a tight-knit working class neighborhood on the Island, has largely been washed away. What remains are uninhabitable homes and harsh utility floodlights that pierce the inky darkness to discourage looters, as unmarked police cars patrol the shells of former neighborhoods.

It is the closest to Hell any of us have ever been.

“It was in here,” he says as he beckons us to enter.

Taking just a few steps yields the stench of death. Like this smell, the truth of what happened here isn’t easily dismissed.

As with any story that spreads through a tight-knit community, especially in a disaster, there are inconsistencies and friends-of-friends third and fourth-hand accounts to rely on. Some say the flood victims, which rumor has it are to be found within the school, broke into the premises to seek shelter from the rising waters or the cold, only to meet with tragedy. Others claim that the bodies were found elsewhere and the school was used because the nearby Staten Island University Hospital’s morgue, with a capacity of no more than 50, could not handle the intake.

Rumors are natural, but this isn’t sensational gossip.

Earlier in the day, a New York City Housing Authority administrator [name withheld] at the South Beach housing development told us how her friend, a nurse, had been relocated to Midland after her hospital in Manhattan was evacuated. When we inquired specifically about the rumored school-cum-morgues, she said she could confirm that the school had been used as a morgue, and that the actual death toll was much higher. When we tracked down her friend, the nurse, she declined our request for comment. The NYC Housing Authority administrator later recanted her assertion over the phone, after telling us she had gone out to dinner with Staten Island Borough President James Molinaro, and that she now accepted the official death toll of 18. However, the rumor was subsequently corroborated by an Egbert Middle School teacher, who wishes to remain anonymous. When questioned by us, she confirmed that the school wouldn’t open Monday morning because it was being used as a temporary morgue.

A sanitation worker and Staten Island local, holding his hands to his head in horror upon seeing the destruction on Cedar Grove Avenue for the first time, repeated again and again, “They’re lying,” – he was referring to the death toll. He told us of another New York Department of Sanitation employee, only 22 years old, who was part of a crew that “lifted 50 bodies into a front-end loader” in the Midland neighborhood just a day earlier. Workers from the Sanitation Department were a constant sight as they helped residents clean up debris.

The morgue rumor becomes even more disturbing when one takes into account the behavior of local press, such as the Staten Island Advance. In an early report, the Advance mentions a temporary morgue site off of Bedford and Mason Avenues – Egbert Middle School’s location – yet later Sandy reports in the paper make no mention of this. The Advance offered no retraction, but the makeshift morgue item was there…

And then vanished without explanation.

Contrast the reliable testimonies of Midland Beach residents with the strange behavior of the local press and adamant denials from local officials [see official statement] and one begins to see a narrative emerge: Regardless of whether Egbert Middle School was or is still being used as a makeshift morgue, the death toll in this forgotten borough that is a casualty of political expediency is likely much higher than officials would like the public to know.

We return the following day to volunteer where needed and talk to the people who call Midland Beach their home. It is the day of what was to be the 2012 New York Marathon.

“This is all Staten Island is to them – a starting line and a dump,” Chris Rich, a Staten Island firefighter tells us as he cleans up debris and mud from his gutted house. Throughout his neighborhood today, New York City marathon runners prance through decimated streets, leaping over piles of donations yet to be distributed, bringing severe congestion to a community just beginning to regain its senses after the catastrophe. To place it in even sharper relief, according to Rich, it was only that very morning that authorities had gotten around to removing three bodies floating in Bay Street Marina. One was tied to a pier to avoid it washing down shore. The person who reported the bodies was told that they would be left for the time being as efforts were to be exclusively “rescue” oriented, eschewing “recovery.” While the Staten Islanders were, and are, still counting their dead, they felt as if they were expected to indulge catastrophe tourism.

“These aren’t Christmas lights,” Rich says, appalled by runners and the attendant onlookers taking in the destruction and pausing for photographs with shell-shocked locals. “People are looking for their wedding rings…These people should be shot,” he says, referring to the vast number of runners who arrived on the island to jog the marathon despite its cancellation.

The ultimate cancellation of the New York City Marathon on Sunday, which would have started on the Island, was an empty political gesture. Michael Bloomberg, NY’s billionaire Mayor, had fought tooth and nail to satiate corporate sponsors and have the Marathon commence on time. He was forced to cancel at the eleventh hour, not out of respect for the suffering of locals or for prudent administrative reasons, but because the public outcry over the issue forced his hand.

Time and time again, we speak to residents who are disgusted by the marathon runners, who seemingly use the Islanders’ misery as a photo opportunity. Yet his decision to return at least two generators slated for use during the marathon to New Jersey once the event was canceled was the last straw for Rich. It is widely reported that these generators could have powered 400 homes – something Staten Islanders desperately need. Already their walls and floors are spawning mold and creating hazardous conditions that will likely render their homes permanently uninhabitable.

It is a cruel sort of political maneuvering. Residents in and around Midland Beach are left to fend for themselves as the Red Cross – as of last weekend – were still rejecting volunteers. Meanwhile FEMA was merely handing out business cards on Friday as they distributed food that could barely nourish families of two or more. We would later learn that fully-furnished, non-toxic FEMA trailers – at the time of this article’s publication – sit less than two hours away in a Wilkes Barre, PA lot.

One local nurse, employed by Columbia University, was denied an opportunity to volunteer by the Red Cross, ostensibly because she, an educated professional, could pose an insurance liability. “People are going to die out there tonight,” she said. When she tried to drive supplies over the Verrazano bridge, she was ID’d and then denied entry.

There is more, however, that sheds light on Bloomberg’s disconnected and cruel countenance upon those in whom he does not see a personal economic or political interest. A borough firefighter who prefers to remain nameless relates the story of how two nights ago the mayor personally ordered police at the 122 Precinct to either arrest or otherwise disperse volunteers who refused to cease relief efforts on Father Capodanno Boulevard, which runs close to the Lower Bay and was slammed by Hurricane Sandy. We ask him what he thinks the mayor’s motive is for doing so: “They [Bloomberg and his administration] didn’t want cameras coming down here and seeing people helping people, they wanted it to look like FEMA or the Red Cross was helping. The fact of the matter is, it’s not. Down here, it’s people helping people,” he says.

The 122 Precinct commander refused to obey Bloomberg’s order, instead ushering people off of the street and into a parking lot, away from any network news cameras. The consistent answer from Staten Islanders to Bloomberg’s misprision was a defiant self-sufficiency and tirelessly persistent community-mindedness.

It was clear that the only ones willing to be responsible for helping Staten Island would be its inhabitants. Local groups such as the Hallowed Sons, a collective of former firefighters and police officers, were seen on Cedar Grove Avenue, in the nearby town New Dorp, giving out hot meals. They were also organizing roving bands of teenagers, who, armed with dust masks and shovels, were helping gut uninhabitable basements and garages.

In Midland Beach, we come across Kelly, who arrived from Boston with a raft and shovels to help his uncle Mike save his home. After just four days, the garage was beginning to mold. Mike’s wheelchair-bound neighbor had died in the flood, despite the best efforts of those trying to rescue him. One of Mike’s daughters was out delivering supplies to others who, in their words, had it much worse.

Kelly offers to put us up for the night. “We have a generator and heat,” he says, as the men pass beer around. Their hospitality and determination is characteristic of Island residents. “Come back in a year, you’ll see a new house!”

Images: Dustin Slaughter, Kenneth Lipp, Joanne Stocker, Joe Fionda and Lex Hortensia

by Nahp

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

This week Danette tells us why she loves to go Vegan.

Members: 1,068 / Comments: 10,638

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: For everyone of us being vegan is more than just a diet. Here we share tips about food, lifestyle, animals, and some silly stuff we like share with others.

DISCUSSION TIP: Don’t compare veganism to religion.

MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: There isn’t heated thread!! This is a group full of creativity, and everyone loves that!

BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “We do not need to eat animals, wear animals, or use animals for entertainment purposes, and our only defense of these uses is our pleasure, amusement, and convenience.”

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Everyone who’s interested in anti-cruelty, curious people, and those who are interested in starting a new meat-free life are welcome to join.

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