by Laurelin

Last night, sitting in a barstool while sipping my Sam Adams Summer Ale, I seriously wished that I were anywhere else. My mind wandered: I thought of going on vacation, I wondered what everyone was doing at my bar, if it was busy, I wondered about my bed, and what would be on TV when I got home. I wondered if it was going to rain tomorrow, if I would sleep in or if I would get up and go for a run. I wondered if I would be hungover. Probably not.

It’s another Tuesday, and the most excitement I’ve had all night is tracing the outline of the snakeskin print leather barstool. My two friends sitting next to each other are squawking about their relationships and I am trying not to fall over out of sheer boredom. We’ve been out since 7 PM. It was 1 AM. My brain had officially turned to relationship mush.

“He doesn’t touch me anymore,” one says. “I go home, he ignores me, he wakes up, goes to work, I know he doesn’t love me.” The other shakes her head vigorously in agreement.

“I KNOW,” she says. “Mine doesn’t love me either. I said I love you to him and he didn’t say it back. Laurelin, what do you think?” She says, turning towards me and asking for advice that I know she’ll never take.

“I think I’m going to stab myself in the throat,” I say absentmindedly. The two girls look at me, horrified. I totally didn’t mean to say that out loud. What I meant to say, and what I had been saying all night is this: How can two beautiful, amazing, once independent woman stay in these loveless relationships simply because they don’t want to be alone?

“We live together,” one says. “

We work together,” says the other. I’ve been down both of those roads, and you know what? You do right by you. You make the important decisions and you trust that one day, you will meet someone who is right for you. Some day you will find your best friend, that one guy who wants you to come home and crawl into bed even if it’s late, the one who won’t leave you sobbing in the street after telling you you’re “lucky” he came home because he totally could have banged that chick at the bar.

These poor women; They often look at me with sadness in their eyes because when I ask them to go out a lot of the time they can’t – they’re with their boyfriends. “Aren’t you lonely?” they ask, the question dripping with pity. Yes. The answer is yes, I am so lonely that sometimes it’s all I can do not to just fling myself into bed at the end of each long day, praying to never wake up. I am so lonely sometimes that I call my ex-boyfriend and tell him to come over when I know he’s been drinking, just so I can listen to him snore and remember what it’s like to sleep next to a warm body.

But I am not so lonely that I would ever do what these girls are doing. Love is hard and relationships need to be worked on. But these, these have been dead for a long time and that type of lonely, well that is something I don’t have. My lonely can be solved with the simple concept of hope. I haven’t met someone yet. I will. I always do. With every sunrise and sunset I never know what’s around the corner, but these girls, they do, and it makes me so sad and bored for them that I could just die.

We walk home later, and one of them is crying. “I can’t do this anymore,” she says. I hug her and tell her to do the right thing, whatever that is. I fall asleep alone, and I know she’s drying her eyes before her boyfriend sees that she’s been crying.

I text her the next day, “How’d it go?” and she writes back like nothing ever happened. “Fine,” she says, “I was just being silly. He went golfing. We’re going to the movies later.”

I’d rather go alone.

Related Posts:
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: 63 Hours
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Contentment and Other Boring Possibilities
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Last Friday
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: No One Nails the Cry Face and Other Tales of Woe
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Of Lies and Half Truths
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: I Would Never Look Through Your Phone and Other Trust Issues
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: My Manager’s Pants Look Better On The Floor And Other Tales Of Responsibility
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Blonde Ambition
Life Beyond The Bar Scene: Love is Better Soaked in Tequila
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: It’s Not You, It’s Me and Other Tales of Woe
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Winter is Coming
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Digital vs. Analogue
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Long December
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Strobe Lights and Glitter
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Apologies and Other Useless Utterances
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Liquid Running
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Anger and Other Mostly Useless Emotions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: One of the Guys
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: A Case of the Crazies
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Unsettled
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boys of Summer
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Play On Playa’
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Naked Laurelin Reading
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Healthy Relationships are for Boring People and Other Mishaps
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Letting Go
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Getting Naked With Laurelin
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Seven Days and Seven Nights of Sobriety
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it’s Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The End of Four Loko As We Know It
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Boston’s Top 5 Dives

by Blogbot

Here’s some of our favorite moments from Comic Con 2012. Tell us about yours in the comments section below.

“I love Comic Con so much. This year was my first time working the booth, so my favorite part was being able to meet so many girls and the fans! But the best part EVER was seeing Venom Suicide pole dance at the club after. She is soooo hot!” – LaneyChantal

“I had the moment of my life at Comic Con 2012. I met my hero, Morgan Spurlock – and I got to share a bed with Rambo! Also, we were lucky enough have Will Wheaton stop by our booth, and Cameron Stewart surprised us with a CCSD 2012 SG Exclusive Comic Drawing of all of us girls. It was just amazing!” – Ackley

“My favorite part was getting to see (and take pictures with) many different people in various costumes. I love to see what comic fans come up with. It was also fun to meet more SGs and instantly get along with them.” – Severen

“Being able to see Mark VIII from Iron Man 3 made me weak in the knees just a bit” – Tristyn

“The highlight of SDCC for me was meeting ‘Lenore’ creator Roman Dirge. He drew a quick sketch in the newest hardcover Lenore edition for me and we chatted about an upcoming movie. 
I also really enjoyed meeting the California Suicide Girls and having them sign my copy of the coffee table book.” – Thanatogenous

“Everything about ComicCon is so exciting and memorable. It’s the highlight of my year. It’s so hard to pick one thing as my favorite moment out of the five days of non-stop nerdsplosion of epicness. But, nothing beats the ‘con exclusive’ friendships that are formed and renewed while you’re geeking out together over booths, swag, and sneak-peek announcements. The SuicideGirl booth during SDCC is the best place to be in the world!” – Bob

“What better than meeting a bunch of beautiful girls and finding out that they are super nice and like to party as much as you? Nothing. Add a night of Andrew WK, sexy costumes and meeting some of the nicest fans into the equation, and it made for a win-win weekend!” – Brewin

“My highlight had to be when a guy dressed as Boba Fett dropped down on one knee and pretended to propose to me in front of a huge crowd. I almost passed out from excitement. That moment made the entire trip worth it!” – Phecda

“My favorite Comic Con 2012 moments were watching Bob Suicide rage at the Andrew WK/ SG party, hearing Sash Suicide squeal when she ran into Opie from Sons of Anarchy, seeing the look of excitement on Milloux Suicide’s face when she came face to face with her TV crush, talking to fans from all over the world, including Germany, England & Costa Rica, and the girl talk and gossip in the hotel with my fellow Suicide Girls. Nothing is bigger than SDCC and no one has more fun than the Suicide Girls ;)” – Tita

“My favorite comic con moment has to be the time I spend with all the girls, and catching Marvel’s Avengers vs. X-Men panel. – Lolana

“One of my favorite moments, or should I say hours, was at the DC booth. I was second in line for an Autograph by Scott Snyder (the New 52 Swamp Thing Batman). A very nice DC employee gave this obsessive fan girl a wristband for a later autograph session with Jim Lee (JLA, Infinite Crisis) and Geoff Johns (JLA, Green Lantern). Wristbands? I didn’t know anything about wristbands. He pulled one out of his pocket and put it on my arm. I drooled and contemplated hugging him. I now have several of the New 52 #1s double and triple signed by some of the most awesome people in the comic universe. Also, I acquired a variant cover of Lady Meachanika #3 (Aspen) and got it autographed by Joe Benitez – one of my favorite series that everybody should check out by the way. I thanked each one of them for all the awesome and can’t wait to come back next year.” – Elea

Thanks to everyone who stopped by the booth to say hi. We loved meeting each and everyone of you, and really appreciate all the love and support. See you at Comic Con 2013 – we’re already country down the days.

In the meatime, we’ll leave you with this Mask & Cape interview featuring our friends Chubby Bunny and Yume Ninja of Bubble Punch who designed our fab cosplay outfits this year. Talking of which, what would you like to see us wearing next year…

[..]

by Jeckyl Suicide

I call it Jeckyl’s blackberry chocolate surprise because the end result really was a surprise – no kidding! And it goes really well with whipped cream. – Jeckyl Suicide

Ingredients

• 100g dark chocolate
• 150g self-raising flour
• 150g plain flour
• 60ml blackberry jam
• 60ml cocoa powder
• 60ml buttermilk
• 4 large eggs
• 2 table spoons coffee powder
• 200g baking margeriene
• 200g sugar (this sounds like a lot but the dark chocolate and coffee make it really bitter)

Directions:

1. Start by preheating your oven to 180 degrees (celsius).

2. Wash your hands thoroughly. (I’m big on hygiene!)

3. In a clean bowl, sift together all your dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa powder).

4. In a pan, boil 3 quarters of a cup of water. Add the margeriene, coffee powder, and dark chocolate, and mix until they’ve all melted and it’s a smooth syrup. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

5. in a seperate bowl, cream together the eggs and buttermilk.

6. Make a well in the centre of your dry ingredients and stir in the buttermilk/egg mixture.

7. Once the coffee syrup had cooled add it to the other ingredients. (Make sure it’s not hot or the eggs will curdle and then you’ll have to start ALL over again. Seriously.)

8. The result should be a very runnny and dark looking dough. Like this:

9. Grease up a cake tin of your choosing. Preferably a large one cause it’s a pretty big mixture. I chose this one.

10. Place on a baking tray in the oven and allow to bake for approximaltely one hour. DON’T open the oven before it’s fully risen otherwise it’ll flop and turn hard like an oversized cookie.

11. Remove from oven and allow to cool before turning over onto a dish. I was impatient with mine and tried tp flip it while it was hot then it broke. So BE PATIENT!

12. Dust with icing sugar and add cherries to make it look pretty.

Ta-da!!

[..]

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Kurosune

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I’ve been married for seven years to my high school sweetheart – if you can call him that – I just call him my legally bound roommate. During our marriage I was faithful for the first 6 1/2 years. Him? Well that’s a different story. He’s cheated on me 3 times that I know of. The worst was when I found out about the first two 6 months after my mom died. The last one was about a year ago.

I don’t want to loose him but I don’t know if I really want to stay married either. The idea of an open marriage sounds appealing but I know in all honesty that would probably be the first step of the demise of us. I know I love him, but I just can’t seem to figure out if I’m still in love with him.

A: Seven years is a long time, I commend you for staying in a relationship so long. I speak from personal experience when I say I know exactly what it is like to fall in love and then move in with your high school sweetheart. Me and mine were together for over six years before we finally broke it off. However, your situation…well, it’s a toughy, isn’t it?

I will just cut straight to the chase: A CHEATER IS A CHEATER IS A CHEATER. Very rarely do cheaters change. And for him to have abandoned you when you needed him the most for some nookie – that’s even worse.

I truly empathize with you, because when my mother was in the hospital, all one of my guy friends was trying to do was fuck, so I can appreciate how incredibly insensitive he is as well. Under the circumstance, the fact that you stayed faithful for so long is even more commendable. I’m slightly reminded of the song, “I Shoud’ve Cheated.” You should look it up – a little music therapy for you.

And honey, those are the three times THAT YOU KNOW OF. Again, I wouldn’t have forgiven him after the first incident. But when you say, “You did what you want to do,” that implies that you cheated as well, and, sweetheart, two wrongs certainly do not make a right.

I have a personal philosophy when it comes to cheating: If he loved you, he would have never cheated in the beginning. The opposite side of that, as I see it, is that the minute you had sex with that other guy while in a committed relationship it meant you were basically admitting to yourself that you were no longer in love with him.

Truly, this is your decision, but in reality, however subconsciously, it seems like you’ve already made it. I can understand that you love him, but are you in love with him? And how deep does that love run? Will it cost you your dignity? Your heart? This may just be a relationship that has run its course and that is emotionally healthier to let go. But, ultimately, only you can know what path you need to take.

If it were me, I hope I’d have the strength to take the path away from a man who cheats, who will continue to cheat, and who will break your heart again and again and again. Stay strong and stay focused on what makes you happy. Remember, YOU COME FIRST.

Best of luck and all my love,

<3 Kurosune
XOX

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

There’s no better day to “party hard” at Comic Con than Friday 13th – especially when cosplay’s involved. We’ll be rockin’ our horror, sci-fi, and superhero outfits with the Spin and iHeartComix crew. The event, which kicks off at 9 PM at 4th & B, will feature performances by Andrew W.K., Peanut Butter Wolf, Hottub, Alexander Spit, and Franki Chan. We’ll also be hosting a cosplay contest with our friends from Bubble Punch and Meltdown, so be sure to come suitably (un)dressed!

Tix are $22 and can be purchased here. For more details visit the Facebook event page.

Related Posts:
The SuicideGirls Guide To Prepping For ComicCon
How To Cosplay Battle Royale
How To Be A Stormtrooper
Cosplay With SuicideGirls At A Pre-Comic Con Party At Meltdown
SuicideGirls Team With Bubble Punch And Meltdown To Transform American Apparel Basics Into Sexy Cosplay Outfits For SG’s Comic-Con Crew
Dirty Laundry: Cosplay 4 Comic Con

by Bob Suicide

It’s crunch time. You know, that crispy-coating that surrounds the ooey-gooey center that is the 5 geek-tastic days of ComicCon. These last few days leading up to the start of the convention involve making lists, checking them twice, re-checking them a third time, packing, hyperventilating into a bag, and obsessively refreshing that online check-in for your flight. Or, is that all just me?

Regardless of your preparation ritual, there’s something behind the scenes you may not know when you walk up to booth #1730 (a.k.a. the SuicideGirls’ booth) and that’s how much time and effort all of the Suicide Girls put into this exciting event.

So, here’s a list of the things the girls wanted to highlight to make sure you’re just as prepared as we are for next week!

Make Sure You’ve Got ALL Of Your Costume!

For each of the days, SuicideGirls will be wearing different outfits: Star Wars, Dr. Who, Battle Royale, and even a wild-card day where girls can dress up as whatever they choose. Some girls have even made up their very own superheros! Consequently there has been tons of glueing, sewing, and well, spandex-ing in preparation for each day.

No one wants to get to San Diego only to find out their perfectly crafted pair of N7 armor pants aren’t anywhere to be found in their suitcase. Well, someone might enjoy it – but that’s a whole different con. It’s really difficult to find anything in San Diego during convention time – even seemingly simple things like the bathroom or toothpaste! And if you do, there’s always a long line for it. So it’s best to make sure you’ve packed all the essentials before you get there. You don’t want to waste precious time that could be spent in the Hasbro line for an exclusive (MY PRECIOUS!) at the mall picking out replacement pants.

For bonus points: make sure your costume is Con-appropriate. SuicideGirls is all about teh sexy, but the con is all-ages and we know that zero-suit Samus doesn’t mean you can walk around without pants on. Keep the Con classy!

Pack Comfy Shoes

You’ve seen every booth babe in mile-high heels that make their legs look fantastic – but SGs aren’t booth babes. We’re hardcore fans who are at The Con for the long haul. As a result, even if our cosplay calls for it, we generally know better than to don anything with an incline. If you’ve got to dash from panel to panel, the only thing heels are good for is to defend yourself against the hoard between you and that front-row seat.

Protip: Don’t actually shank anyone with a high heel.

Bring Hand-Sanitizer

But don’t be Hayden Panettiere about it. It’s a large group of people from all over the universe; there’s bound to be some germs. And, if you haven’t heard, there’s a zombie outbreak going on! It’s better to be prepared and lightly lemon-scented, than undead during the five greatest days of the year. There’s a difference between protecting yourself from the H1Nerd1 that plagued Penny Arcade’s PAX not so long ago and hating the soft touch of your fellow nerds…SuicideGirls definitely love the personal touch! Be sure to stop by the booth and give us a hug and a high-five.

For bonus points: bring some deodorant too. Sometimes you’re out late at an event and up early to get in line for a panel. Q little stick can go a long way to freshen up the day.

Have Fun

I may joke about hyperventilating into a bag before ComicCon because of all the stress of prepping and planning, but it’s best to look at the upcoming days as part of the ComicCon adventure. Find fun ways to take the stress out of the preparation and make your to-do list into a ta-da list! Make a fun countdown, get together with your friends and have a pack and prep party where you help make sure everyone’s prepared whilst screening some geektastic movies. Or maybe, just take a couple moments to relax and breathe before the whirlwind (and your plane) touches down in San Diego.

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Rydell

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: My girlfriend of seven years left me recently and it devastated me. We lived together for most of that time, and I was ready to marry her. After she landed a new job in a salon, our communication broke down starting a downward spiral. We never really fought about anything of importance, and we’re incredibly happy and good together up to the end. She left saying it was because she felt under appreciated/loved and that we were growing apart. I know I fell into a ‘funk’ and became less outwardly affectionate towards the end, but the feelings I have only grew, not subsided. It’s been two months and haven’t had any contact, and I want nothing more than the chance to see if she was right about growing apart and see where that takes us. What can I do to try and get her to see that I’m a changed man that understands what went wrong, and that I was a chance to start over and date her again?

—A sad and optimistic guy in the South Bay

A: If you are looking to “reconnect” with her, contact her and see where her head is. Maybe she is in the same mind set or maybe she isn’t. All you can do is ask. If she feels that enough time hasn’t past or really just wants to move on and away from the relationship you had, then really all you can do is respect it and try something new in your life.

Try dating someone else when you feel your heart is healed enough and take things slow. I am sure it will feel weird at first, but in time maybe you will see more “little things” that maybe weren’t so right with your past relationship.

Getting a little perspective with time and space, will help you realize the things you don’t want in a current relationship, and also recognize the things that were good that you would like to carry over to a new one.

Like I say, talk to each other and see if a reconciliation is possible. if not, have a Plan B and start there. Maybe in time she’ll realize what she wants is what she already had, and maybe she won’t. Who know, by then you may have something even better anyways.

Good luck.

<3 Rydell

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com