by SG’s Team Agony feat. Seizure

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over six months now. I love him, and he’s great to/for me. But he talks about marriage and spending our lives together. I know that doesn’t have to be right away, but even thinking about it gives me terrible butterflies in my stomach, and not the good kind. I’m almost 19 and I’ve never even thought about getting married, let alone at such a young age. The thing is, I can move past the marriage talk, but there’s something else in the way too. I’m enjoying every moment we spend together – the sex is good and he’s a total sweetheart who means extremely well – but I don’t see myself with him for a while. I’m not a cheater. I will remain faithful. But I can’t help flirting with other guys. It’s just in my nature to flirt. I can’t stop doing it even if I’m with someone. I really want to be with someone else sexually, but I won’t do it while I’m with my boyfriend. I guess what I’m saying is I want to have my cake and eat it too. What should I do?

A: My advice to you would be not to look too deeply in to his talks about marriage. Chances are that he’s just trying to let you know that he is serious about being with you. Maybe the fact that you are flirty with other guys is what’s making him want to let you know that he’s so serious about you. As you said, you are still young and so many people get in to relationships too early.

Honestly, if you are flirting with other guys and feel like you want to be with other guys sexually, the fact that you are questioning yourself means that you know that what you are doing is (at least a little) wrong.
 You shouldn’t ‘have your cake and eat it’ unless you are in agreement with your boyfriend that you are both able to have a ‘piece of the cake.’
 In short, if you are going to act on your impulses to be with other guys, let him know that you don’t want to be with him. Or, let him know that you want this and suggest an open relationship. Most importantly, be honest with him and yourself.



Good luck!

Seizure

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

By Charlie Suicide

Zak Smith (SG Member ZakSmith), “The King of the Art Punks,” is currently on his way to art world domination. His paintings of girls have sold to some of the most prestigious art institutions in the US; his portrait of Sawa Suicide was recently sold to the Whitney Museum in NY, and MoMA now owns his portrait of Charlie Suicide. He is represented by the Fredericks & Freiser gallery in NYC, and is soon to be exhibited at SF MoMA. Zak Smith was born in ‘76, grew up in DC, and currently resides in Brooklyn, NY, where he eats fried chicken almost every day. His new book, Pictures of Girls is out now in fine bookstores.

Read our exclusive interview with Zak Smith on SuicideGirls.com.

by Blogbot

This Sunday (Feb 19) we’re having a women’s writers’ retreat in the SG Radio Studio. Hosts Nicole Powers (SG’s Managing Editor) and Darrah de jour (SG’s resident post-feminist sex and sensuality expert) will be joined in studio by Love Junkie author and Writers on Fire coach Rachel Resnick and her frenemy, actress, comedian, playwright and author Lauren Weedman, a.k.a. Horny Patty (we’re told by Rachel that she had that nickname prior to her “cameo” in HBO’s Hung!). The two met online on a UCLA Book Proposal Writing course, and have been unhealthily competitive ever since. We therefore expect the claws to be out and the sparks to fly, so it should be a fun show.

When Darrah’s not steering the conversation towards the topic of porn or polyamory, and Nicole’s not banging on about Occupy, ACTA or the freakin’ NDAA, we’ll be more or less on topic, yakking about writing. That’s right. Writing. Like, books ‘n’ shit. Stories. Sketches. Plays. Real writing. Surreal writing. Automatic writing. Manual writing. And ghost writing. Since doing this shit is hard. Very hard. Like if you’re JK Rowling rich, fuck it, you should just pay someone else to do it and go get your nails done. Really. But if you’re not, and you’re embarrassed to let people even read your diary – not because it’s too juicy or cringe-worthy, but because it’s too dull – tune in to find out how to make boring shit sound fun, shameless stuff shameful (in a good way), and how to plain just make cool, uncool, and awesomely wrong stuff up.

Tune in to the world’s leading naked radio show for two hours of totally awesome tunes and extreme conversation – and don’t let yo momma listen in!

Listen to SG Radio live Sunday night from 10 PM til Midnight on suicidegirlsradio.indie1031.com/

Got questions? Then dial our studio hotline digits this Sunday between 10 PM and midnight PST: 323-900-6012

And follow us on Twitter because we like cyberstalkers.

[..]

by Blogbot

Artist / SG Member Name: Jake Prendez a.k.a. Tattoo_Jake

Mission Statement: I live because of art. It was my avenue out of gangs, it was there for me when my mom was sick, it was there for me during all my break ups. It has always been my outlet that has allowed me to express what I couldn’t say in words. I was raised to leave a place better then when I got there and I try to use my talents to make this world a little bit better.

Medium: Mostly Acrylic and aerosol.

Aesthetic: My style is heavily influenced by street and subversive art, Chicano/indigenous culture, Los Angeles, and social justice movements.

Notable Achievements: Despite having dyslexia, despite constantly being told by teachers that I’d never make it, despite having a drug and alcohol addicted parent, despite being involved in gangs, despite being a father at 19, I was able to graduate from college and enter a masters program. Last December I was able to go to Guanajuato Mexico for two weeks to paint two murals for foster youth girls at the Buen Pastor Shelter with ten other LA artists. We were also able to do workshops for the girls on stenciling, photography, graphic design, drawing, and painting.

Why We Should Care: I am still lucky enough to be painting for myself so I really don’t care if anyone else likes my work or not. I paint what I want and what I want to see. Art has saved my life and I try to use my gifts to help others, whether it be “at risk” youth or used in social justice campaigns. My goal isn’t to impress collectors but to use my skills to uplift communities.

I Want Me Some: Visit: laughterinsurgency.com/

[..]

by Laurelin

I have always felt a little indifferent about Valentine’s Day. It seems cliché to hate it, stupid to love it, and all in all, just another day of the week. I don’t think I have ever had a spectacular Valentine’s Day even when I was in a relationship. In college, my boyfriend at the time told me we were supposed to go to dinner and then he wound up not being able to afford it. I was crushed. But I remember one other day, in the middle of the summer when he left a single red rose under my windshield wipers, and he hid so when I looked around the parking lot I didn’t see him until when I turned around, he was right there kissing me. It was one of the most romantic moments of my life, and it was also just another day.

A few Valentine’s days ago my boyfriend at the time and I went to a romantic dinner at a candlelit historic restaurant in Boston’s Beacon Hill district. The tables were so close together and we were both so tall that we looked like bulls in a china shop trying to be classy and quiet amidst normal sized couples. We wound up eating so much food and dessert that we couldn’t even make room for drinks afterwards, and we were both massively uncomfortable for the rest of the evening. Sexy.

I feel like Valentine’s Day is just one of those days that winds up making people feel bad, so I usually just do what I always do on every other day: hit the bars. If anyone is out at a bar in Boston on Valentine’s Day chances are they’re single. The odds of running into a guy lying about having a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day are slim to none, so I look forward every year to some guilt free bar scene action.

One year ago today I was with four single friends. One guy had just been dumped (they got back together), one had just been snubbed my by best friend and was nursing a bruised ego (he is now happily in a relationship), and then there was me and my friend Lindsay, two girls who can’t seem to be tamed. We were drinking twenty three ounce Harpoon UFO drafts and knocking back shots of Jameson when I glanced up and happened to meet eyes with a guy standing across the bar. I leaned into my friend Jay not-so-stealthily, “he’s CUTE!” I whispered, quickly looking away, my cheeks burning.

Not two seconds later I had a shot of Patron placed in front of me, and the bartender gestured towards that guy across the bar. “It’s on him,” the bartender said. I looked up and the guy was holding a shot as well, and I knew that there was no turning back now, I had to rip this shot and act like tequila didn’t make me throw up in my mouth. Turning down salt and lime, I got the shot down the hatch and stood up to go say thanks. I flashed my best smile and held out my hand, and I met Dan.

I remember leaving the bar that night with a smile stuck to my face. Who goes to a bar and meets a guy on Valentine’s Day? It was perfect, so sappy, so lame, and oh my god, why couldn’t I stop smiling? That night was the start of something that wound up being silly, tumultuous, fun and pretty important. Dan has become a staple in my life, someone I call when I need advice, need a drinking partner, need a pep talk on getting over an ex. We just got back from an 11 day cruise with a few other friends, and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime with whom to spend that time in paradise with. Looking back one year later I can’t help but still have a smile stuck on my face.

It’s funny, how life works out. I always thought that Valentine’s Day was just another day, and it is — but you never know when life is going to hand you someone special — and as always, extra points when that someone special is holding a shot of tequila with your name on it.

[..]

by Nahp Suicide

Albertine is from in Milan, Italy. She has been a Suicide Girl and a SG Photographer since 2004 and has shot more than 200 sets!

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

An old friend of mine, Aiki, was on the site. I was at the time studying photography and specifically was into a self portrait project, so I did a test shoot of myself for the site and the set was bought!



What’s your background photography-wise?

I studied photography in Italy at IED and then took a masters degree at SVA in NY.



What was the first photo you had published?

It was a picture for an Italian fashion magazine (“D”) that I shot while I was in NY: it was a big cardboard box sitting on a doorstep and you could see the hand of a girl trying to get out from one corner, as if the girl had been delivered to someone.



How would you describe your style?

This is a hard one, as I am constantly in conflict with myself wondering if I even HAVE a style. Generally, I like my models to feel comfortable. I like them to feel hot/pretty. For editorial work I love using references in the world of comics/ movies/illustration. I like it when an image triggers imagination.



What gear do you use?

I generally shoot with a Nikon D700, my lighting equipment depends on the job and the situation.



How important is Photoshop in your final images?

If I shot digital is very important, as I think that completely unprocessed digital images aren’t appealing: I think about Photoshop as if it was a digital darkroom, and the raw digital file a film negative.



What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

My style as far as SG shoots has changed a lot throughout the years. My sets used to be very themed, as I liked the idea of freeing the imagination of the model and the concept of playing a role/character. Nowadays I try to be as minimalistic as I can, and portray each model’s peculiar way of being sexy.



What is your favorite image?

There are so many that I love!

Tell us why it’s your fave and how you achieved it?

I guess that my favorite shoots of all times are the ones I did with Manko: I think we grew up together as friends and artists, and we always create something that is unique, and also never boring. I like to think of her as my muse.




Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven’t? (And tell us why)

I want to photograph tons and tons more. I am very intrigued about shooting more artists. I have a craving for faces that can communicate experiences, love and struggles, faces that have sparkles in their eyes!

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by SG’s Contributors & Team Agony

Valentine’s Day isn’t a bed of roses for everyone – especially those who are single. Here, the SG Blog’s brain trust share their strategies for surviving the Hallmark Day devoted to lovers.

1. Two words. Ben & Jerry’s. – Sash Suicide

2. Chocolate, booze and drugs. – SnakePlissken

3. Make yourself a fuck-ton of cookies, and eat ’em all. (Or send me some!) – Lyxzen Suicide

4. Make heart shaped pancakes. Tearing them in half and eating them is delicious, barbaric, and therapeutic. Cover them with strawberry syrup so they look bloody. – Laurelin SG

5. Send yourself flowers or treat yourself to something nice. – Rambo Suicide

6. Do something nice for yourself, and remember that Valentine’s Day means we’re halfway through the last full month of winter. Fuck winter and all of its frosty bullshit! – Perdita Suicide

7. Call in lovesick from work, and indulge in a little erotica. – Atlea Suicide

8. Buy a sex toy and get down with yourself 😉 – Rambo Suicide

9. Stock up on whiskey and batteries. – Sassie Suicide

10. Strip clubs and liquor works for me. I hear there’s a strip club in Iowa where you can bring your own beer. I’m very excited about this. – Justin Beckner

11. Put on your favorite lingerie because it makes YOU feel sexy, treat yourself to a heart-shaped box of quality chocolates, and watch something that reminds you that being single/alone on Valentine’s Day is better than being married to an axe murderer – The Shining, for example. – Clio Suicide

12. Do not watch rom-coms. I repeat it: don’t watch rom-coms. You don’t want to do it. All those movies have happy endings, and a happy ending now can lead to never ending tears or immense anger. Don’t do it. – Dalila Suicide

13. Grab some popcorn and watch horror movies where the cute couples come to a sticky end (ie. The Devil’s Rejects). – Aadie Suicide

14. Take an overnight trip somewhere and treat yourself well, and pretend Valentine’s Day isn’t happening. – RIn Suicide

15. Hide under a rock. – Nicole Powers

16. Move back and forth across the international dateline to avoid it. – Zach Roberts

17. Take over the world, and declare an end to Valentine’s Day. – Elea Suicide

18. Try to get abducted by aliens. Maybe the dating scene is better on Mars. – Aadie Suicide

19. Move to Ethiopia – they’ve never heard of it there (source). Of course they’ve probably never heard of Jersey Shore either, so it’s a mixed bag. – Zach Roberts

20. Whatever you do, don’t move to Japan because they have two Valentine’s Days there! On February 14, girls give boys chocolate, and on March 14, boys who’ve received chocolate from girls have to give some back. – Brad Warner

21. Go out dancing at a club that plays house music. Holidays don’t exist for those maniacs. – Laurelin SG

22. Avoid social networks. Everyone has in their contact list someone who is madly in love and will post some cheesy glittery Valentine pic together with an annoying “I WUV UUUU” message. Ok, Linkedin is a exception. You’re allowed to go there. – Dalila Suicide

23. Troll the happy couples. Go out for a romantic dinner by yourself. Every time you hear a couple near by getting intensely mushy, rudely interrupt them. Start with simple things like: “Can I use your salt?” Then raise the stakes. – A.J. Focht

24. Throw a Valentine’s Day Massacre party. Dress up as your favorite mobster, police officer, or flapper, fill your bathtub (and Tommy water gun) with gin and put on some movies that feature it like The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and Some Like It Hot. – Bob Suicide

25. Make a date with your single friends. Have everyone bring photos of their ex lovers. Have a nice BBQ and burn them! – Dorsal Suicide

26. Invite one (or ten!) of your other single buddies over for an XBox showdown, game night shenanigans (I recommend Catchphrase, Apples to Apples, or the Seinfeld version of Clue), or, if you’re artsy-fartsy like me, host a craft night! – Lyxzen Suicide

27. Host a spin the bottle party. – Rin Suicide

28. Invite the hottest single friends you know…and have an anti-Valentine orgy. Way cheaper than springing for flowers, chocolate, and dinner and everyone gets off (please practice safe sex). And the photos of the night for sure won’t bore your friends. – Steve Altman

29. Get a job at Hallmark and fuck with every V-Day card, substituting “love” for “douche” thus causing breakups and general emotional upset world wide. Misery loves Hallmark. – Darrah de jour

30. Carry a sharpie with you at all times and doodle a broken line on hearts everywhere you go. – Atlea Suicide

31. Pop Valentine’s Day balloons. – Rambo Suicide

32. Play Call Of Duty: Black Ops all day and shoot virtual people until you feel better. – Elea Suicide

33. Read the work of great philosophers, Arthur Schopenhauer for example. And no, it’s not boring. Schopenhauer believed that love and sexual impulse merely serves the will of life in its effort to perpetuate itself. Meaning we’re being tricked by nature with love. But we’re over that. Falling in love is so 1760. Embrace nihilism instead of a lover. – Dalila Suicide

34. Just think of it this way: every couple out there that is spending a crap load of money on flowers, dinner, and chocolates will end up having the same sex they had the night before for free. At least you’re saving $150 by not celebrating Valentine’s Day. – Damon Martin

35. Don’t mope *too* much! Seriously, you’re not the only single lady or gent out there! – Lyxzen Suicide

36. Give your dog a bouquet of roses and a box of doggie-safe chocolates. – Darrah de jour

37. If you don’t have a dog, rescue one ¬ that way you’ll have someone to love and love you (and remember, unlike a lover, a four legged friend should always be for life!). – Nicole Powers

38. Go out somewhere you’ve never been before. Last year on Valentine’s Day I met a guy at a new bar who became of one my best friends. That is, after we finished all the tequila in the bar and made out in the street for a while. – Laurelin SG

39. I’m a huge believer in random acts of kindness. Do something for someone just ‘cause. As an added bonus, giving someone else the unexpected warm and fuzzies will make you feel that way too. – Nicole Powers

40. Remember those corny packs of Valentine cards you passed out in school? Or remember actually MAKING cards? Do that, only for your grown-up friends, parents, neighbors, mailman, etc. Who wouldn’t grin at the sight of a “I choo-choo choose you” card? It doesn’t have to be about mushy-gushy romantic junk, try just making people smile. And you know you like sealing envelopes with stickers anyways. – Lyxzen Suicide

Alternatively, you could always spend some quality time honing your dating, love, sex, and romance skills with a little help from SG’s awesome community so you can snag a partner by Steak & Blow Job Day – which is less pressure and way more fun than V-Day anyway!

XOX

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